“The Wild West approach to protecting public health and safety”

It is unsurprising, while still disappointing, that Texas lawmakers, along with many citizens, seem to have learned nothing at all from the disaster in West, Texas a few weeks ago. Many have used it as an opportunity to rail against government regulation.

Even in West, last month’s devastating blast did little to shake local skepticism of government regulations. Tommy Muska, the mayor, echoed Governor Perry in the view that tougher zoning or fire safety rules would not have saved his town. “Monday morning quarterbacking,” he said.

Raymond J. Snokhous, a retired lawyer in West who lost two cousins — brothers who were volunteer firefighters — in the explosion, said, “There has been nobody saying anything about more regulations.”

Texas has always prided itself on its free-market posture. It is the only state that does not require companies to contribute to workers’ compensation coverage. It boasts the largest city in the country, Houston, with no zoning laws. It does not have a state fire code, and it prohibits smaller counties from having such codes. Some Texas counties even cite the lack of local fire codes as a reason for companies to move there.

***

As federal investigators sift through the rubble at the West Fertilizer Company plant seeking clues about the April 17 blast that killed at least 14 people and injured roughly 200 others, some here argue that Texas’ culture itself contributed to the calamity.

I actually am sympathetic to the argument that additional regulations would not have prevented the explosion, but not in a way that reflects favorably on Governor Perry or anyone else who sides with him. The problem is not a lack of regulations. The problem is that our “business-friendly” culture in Texas has no intention of enforcing the regulations we already have. Spare us the bullshit about not needing more regulations until you have at least tried to do your damn job.

The New York Times quoted my torts professor from UT Law, Thomas McGarity, who sums it up far better than I ever could:

The Wild West approach to protecting public health and safety is what you get when you give companies too much economic freedom and not enough responsibility and accountability.

The greatest irony of West, perhaps, is that the fertilizer involved in the explosion is regulated by the Department of Homeland Security, because it is explosive. If someone had stolen fertilizer from the plant and blown it up somewhere else, these anti-regulation types might be singing a very different tune. Why is an explosion allegedly caused by greed and incompetence that much different from one allegedly caused by terroristic intent?


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Drinking, Driving, and DAs: The Lehmberg Story Has Gotten Too Interesting for Austin’s Good (UPDATED)

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From “Remove Rosemary Lehmberg” on Facebook

The Travis County legal community is choosing sides in the battle over whether our currently-incarcerated district attorney, Rosemary Lehmberg, should get to keep her job when she gets out of jail in a few weeks. She is currently serving a 45-day sentence for driving while intoxicated, which could be as short as 22-23 days if she manages to stay out of trouble while in there. A Travis County lawyer (also a colleague, law school classmate, and friend) filed a petition to remove her from office, citing a Texas statute allowing removal of a district attorney for intoxication. The County Attorney’s office has now filed suit under that statute to seek Lehmberg’s removal, and a group of Austin attorneys has filed a “Friends of Rosemary” memorandum opposing her removal.

My first thought upon hearing about the memorandum in Lehmberg’s support was a sense that, as a non-practicing but still-licensed attorney, I am somewhat on the sidelines of this debacle. The district attorney is elected by all the voters of Travis County, though, not just the attorneys who vote (even if the attorneys are usually the only ones who closely follow DA and judicial elections.) This affects me and every other individual in this county, even if I will never professionally deal with Lehmberg or her office. I understand the arguments in favor of Lehmberg remaining in office. Considering all of the factors at play, I’m not entirely happy to say this, but I agree that she should go. I think it would be better for her to resign, but the chess pieces are in place now, so I guess we’ll see what happens.

To be clear, I have one reason for this position: public safety. I do not care if the district attorney was drinking alcohol per se. I do not care what a public servant does in their private time, except when it directly threatens the safety of others. Driving while (apparently, very) intoxicated is a direct threat to public safety. The end (of my position statement.)

Here is a bit of a play-by-play of what has happened so far.

I. THE ARREST

According to a police affidavit, as reported by KXAN, a 911 call at about 10:45 p.m. on Friday, April 12, 2013 reported that a Lexus had been driving in the bike lane and weaving for about a mile on southbound FM 620 in west Austin. Police arrested the driver, DA Rosemary Lehmberg. Her behavior at the police station is sure to be the stuff of legend (the affidavit reportedly described her as “both polite and excited, insulting and cocky.”) (Also, restraints were involved.) She was released on a personal bond at about 7:30 that Saturday morning. Continue reading


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Is North Korea Targeting……Austin?

Okay, this scene was pretty scary. (via alternatehistory.com)

Okay, this scene was pretty scary. (via alternatehistory.com)

I’ve heard some rumblings this morning that North Korea has a list of targets in the U.S. for the missiles it may or may not have, and that this list includes my current abode of Austin, Texas. Let me first note that, according to KEYE, the source for this list is the Drudge Report, so take the news with a multi-kiloton grain of salt. Second, why Austin?

See, I grew up in San Antonio in the 1980′s, when nuclear war was the disaster du jour, much like the zombie apocalypse today. Because San Antonio had four Air Force bases and a major Army base, we pretty much all figured that we would be among the first to go if the Russians ever decided to bomb us. By the age of ten or eleven, I had an oddly fatalistic view of nuclear war, and movies like The Day After didn’t scare me all that much, because I didn’t think I’d be around for my hair to fall out in the first place. A native San Antonio author, Whitley Strieber, even co-wrote a post-apocalyptic travelogue of a post-nuclear America called Warday, in which San Antonio was one of only a few cities directly destroyed by nukes.

It sort of makes sense for San Antonio, in the 1980′s to be a target (did I mention all the Air Force bases?). Austin was supposedly even on the primary target list back then, because of Bergstrom Air Force Base. Bergstrom has been a commercial airport for over a decade, though, so what’s the deal, Kim? Do you not like live music?


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The Bluest County in Texas

Austin often seems like a blue island in a sea of red. Yesterday, Travis County (which includes Austin) went for President Obama by 60%, according to Fox News. Yes, I’m relying on Fox News’ election returns. Let it never be said that I don’t occasionally slum it online. Of course, the state overall went 57% for Romney. It got me wondering, though, since we vote precinct-by-precinct, county-by-county, and then the winner takes all at the state level, what is the actual Bluest County in Texas?

Starr County, Texas.

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Screen capture from foxnews.com

The area has likely been inhabited for 11,000 years. Europeans first arrived there in 1638, when Jacinto García de Sepulveda went looking for Dutch sailors rumored to be on the Gulf coast. That really has nothing to do with yesterday’s election, though.

Starr County went 86% for Barack Obama. Romney drew a paltry 13%. Fox News does not provide a breakdown for other parties, literally lumping them in the “Other” category.

According to the 2011 Census Bureau estimate, 61,715 people live in Starr County. Of those, 95.6% are “of Hispanic or Latino Origin.” A language other than English is spoken in the homes of 96.0% of the county’s residents. The county borders the Mexican state of Tamaulipas. The county seat, Rio Grande City, has a population of roughly 13,834 people, and is the birthplace of Lieutenant General (ret.) Ricardo Sanchez, who commanded the coalition ground forces in Iraq from June 2003 to June 2004.

The county also seems to have a corruption problem. A former sheriff pleaded guilty to federal drug conspiracy charges in May 2009 and received a 64-month prison sentence. A deputy sheriff was charged with federal bribery, extortion, and drug charges in July 2012.

That’s all I’ve got. I just thought it was interesting.

Photo credit: Screen capture from foxnews.com.


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Austin, Our Lonely Blue Island

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The one place in Texas I can stomach living anymore (except maybe parts of Houston)

The City of Austin became the first Texas city to formally support same-sex marriage. The City Council unanimously approved a resolution on Thursday, September 27, 2012. Item #77 on the morning’s agendawas:

Approve a resolution declaring the City Councils intent to support marriage equality in the State of Texas.

I took the liberty of uploading a copy of the draft resolution here (PDF file). The city’s original (also a PDF) is here.

KUT reported on the vote, and the City Council’s statements in support:

Before the vote, local civil rights groups declared their support for the resolution, which was sponsored by Mayor Pro Tem Sheryl Cole and co-sponsored by Mayor Lee Leffingwell and Council member Laura Morrison.

At a press conference, Mayor Pro Tem Cole spoke about the evolution of rights in Texas, quoting Dr. Martin Luther King: “… Injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere. Whatever afflicts once directly also afflicts one indirectly.”

Council member Morrison acknowledged the progress made within the Austin community, when it comes to civil rights, but said there was still a ways to go.  Morrison pointed to practicality when making her point.

“Marriage equality provides important legal and economic protections including access to health care, parenting rights, property rights and other protections,” said Morrison.

I happen to believe that there is far more to this issue than one of practicality. This about people’s right to live their lives on their own terms. This is about people I care about, who cannot obtain basic recognition of their relationship with their life partner. The fact is that a majority of voters in my state, when they look at my friends, think that they can deny them that right. This mindset baffles me. More to the point, it infuriates and disgusts me.

In 2005, voters approved an amendment to the Texas Constitution that states: “Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.” It then prevents any political subdivision (i.e. a city) from “creat[ing] or recogniz[ing] any legal status identical or similar to marriage.” The amendment, known as Prop. 2 on the November 2005 ballot, passed with 76% voter approval. Travis County, where Austin is located, was the only county in the entire state where a majority of voters disapproved. Continue reading


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An Open Letter to Cicurina venii, the $15 Million Spider

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Because I find spiders terrifying, here’s an adorable slow loris

Dear Cicurina venii,

May I call you by your scientific name, or do you prefer your more common name, the Braken Bat Cave meshweaver?

At any rate, I have never made a secret of the fact that I do not much like your kind (meaning spiders), as I tend to find you creepy. I know that you and most of your cousins here in Texas mean us no harm, and that it’s just the black widows and brown recluses that pose any real danger to us humans. You spiders have just always rubbed me the wrong way. I suppose it is because of that time in kindergarten when I reached out my hand to lean on a wall at recess and felt something soft and furry, only to discover a large (relative to my 6 year-old size) wolf spider at my fingertip. I know that’s not your fault, and I know it’s not fair to blame an entire order of arachnids for a mild youthful scare, so I apologize for the aspersions I have cast on your kind over the years.

I write to you now, in fact, to welcome you back to the public eye. I read that you recently reappeared after an absence of more than a decade, showing up at a construction site in San Antonio. In fact, no one even knew you existed until 1980, and no one saw you again until a few weeks ago. You’ve been on the endangered species list since 2000. This means that your sudden and unexpected appearance stopped a highway construction project in its tracks. It sounds like you’ve got quite a home for yourself there in northwest San Antonio, with a whole network of caves. The news says that you’re blind, so I suppose you can’t quite appreciate how much the city has changed around you since the last time people saw you.

I hope that we can find a way to live together. You should know that you’ve made a lot of people angry. They’re really angry with the government for enforcing the laws protecting you as an endangered species, but you get caught in the crossfire, and that’s too bad. I know you just want to live down there in your cave, scurrying around doing spider stuff. You didn’t ask for this kind of attention, but unfortunately, you’ve got it.

For my part, I want to thank you for reminding us all that protecting endangered species isn’t just about protecting cute pandas and majestic eagles. It is also about protecting blind, cave-dwelling, eight-legged beasts like you. You may terrify me, even if you are less than an inch long, but you ought to have a chance to use this planet along with the rest of us.

Photo credit: ’Nycticebus coucang 003′ by David Haring / Duke Lemur Center (email) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons.


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Rice University and that Place that Sells Chicken

I just learned from an alert friend that Rice University, of which I am a proud alumnus, has an at-least-somewhat cozy relationship with The Chicken Restaurant That Shall Not Be Named. (That’s too wordy, on second thought. I’m referring to Chick-Fil-A.) As of this afternoon, the Rice Athletic Department lists Chick-Fil-A as a “Preferred Restaurant Partner.”

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I couldn’t find much else about a relationship between Rice and Chick-Fil-A, except one indication, via student reviews of campus food, that Chick-Fil-A is available on campus.

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This is what roughly five minutes of Googling revealed, anyway.

My involvement as an alumnus with Rice is pretty minimal. I send money now and then, but I’m not a “patron,” “booster,” or “donor,” so much as I am the guy who pretends to have a forty year-old rotary phone whenever the Rice Development Office calls. Nonetheless, I am not thrilled in the least with the school’s affiliation with Chick-Fil-A, which, as far as I am concerned, goes against everything I learned about tolerance and inclusion while a student at Rice. I matriculated at Rice as a spoiled, entitled, sheltered little shit whose life experiences mostly involved fellow WASPs. By the time I graduated, I was still a little shit, but my Rice experience allowed me to expand beyond everything else. Rice’s diversity accounted for about 90% of that. (I now know that Rice actually wasn’t all that diverse, but you have to think like 18 year-old me here.) I mean not only cultural, ethnic, racial, or religious diversity, but also diversity of lifestyles.

Rice is a private university. This means that it has considerable discretion to decide with whom it associates. No one disputes that. As a private organization, however, it also has considerable leeway to decide with whom not to associate. Are you listening, President David Leebron and Athletic Director Rick Greenspan?

BONUS: See Culturemap Houston’s guide to non-Chick-Fil-A chicken in Houston.


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Time to lay down some Proverbs

320px-Texas_State_Fair_honeyA few weeks ago, a Texas state legislator came up with an alternative to having public school teachers lead their students in prayer, or posting the Ten Commandments over the periodic table, or whatever else it is that people want to do these days. Via the Texas Freedom Network:

In a post on her Facebook page Monday, [Texas state Rep. Debbie Riddle, R-Tomball] seems to accept the fact that government-sponsored prayer is not allowed in public schools — though students are free to pray in public schools as long as it’s not officially sanctioned by administrators — and she offers an alternative:

I say have a reading out of Proverbs each day in our classrooms.

No, really, she said it. Here’s her full post:

Formal prayer has been taken out of our schools. How about this idea? Read from the book of Proverbs from the Bible. Proverbs is a book of wisdom. Proverbs is in the Holy Scriptures for Christians and Jews. As for other religions — the wisdom won’t do them any harm. This nation was built on Christian and Jewish values and the Bible was actually used in the classrooms in our early days. To toss the very foundation on which our country was built because of political correctness is wrong and we see the results in society today. I say have a reading out of Proverbs each day in our classrooms. What do you think?

Ever mindful that not everyone shares the same faith, Riddle assures all who don’t follow the Bible that “the wisdom” in Proverbs “won’t do them any harm.” See? She’s thought of everything. Except maybe the inevitable avalanche of lawsuits.

I wholeheartedly agree with Rep. Riddle. The Book of Proverbs is full of Bibley goodness, and the children of the state of Texas need to know that far more than they need to know history, or how the human reproductive system works. Let me throw out my suggestion for the first proverb to read, from Proverbs 25:16 (NIV):

If you find honey, eat just enough—
too much of it, and you will vomit.

That bit of wisdom spared me from quite a bit of barfing as a child. With honey-induced vomiting accounting for seventy-one percent of all public school absences [citation needed], Rep. Riddle’s proposal could not come at a better time.

Photo credit: ‘Texas State Fair honey’ by Photo: Andreas Praefcke (Own work (own photograph)) [GFDL or CC-BY-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons.


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That time when Austin out-snarked 4chan

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This picture of two guys dressed as pirates won’t make any sense unless you read the entire post.

Pepsi started a crowdsourcing campaign on Monday called “Dub the Dew,” where it asked consumers to submit suggestions for the name of a new flavor of Mountain Dew. (For my part, I’ve never been sure what regular Mountain Dew is supposed to taste like, other than a precursor to a stomachache. But I digress.) The company said that the new flavor would have “green apple attitude.” On the 21st-century internet, something that doofy could not be allowed to stand, so 4chan (or possibly Reddit) took up the cause. In less than a day, the campaign was over, as Pepsi said that “Dub the Dew definitely lost to The Internet.”

At the time Pepsi stopped the campaign, the leading candidates for the flavor name (remember the “green apple” theme) were “Hitler did nothing wrong,” “Gushing Granny,” and (my favorite) “Fapple.”

Internet trolls – 1, tired old corporation – 0

Before the denizens of that particular dark corner of the interwebz get too self-congratulatory, I posit that the citizens of Austin did one better last year. The city wanted to re-brand its Department of Solid Waste Services, so it asked for input from the community. The “Keep Austin Weird” community. See where this is going?

Officials with Austin’s Solid Waste Services expected to receive offbeat ideas when they asked residents to suggest a new name for the city department.

They didn’t expect the top online vote-getter to be Fred Durst Society of the Humanities and Arts , followed by, among others, Ministry of Filth , Hufflepuff , Lemon Party and Keep Austin Wasted.

The Fred Durst Society of the Humanities and Arts ultimately received more than 29,000 votes, but it was hardly the only, uh, interesting one.

Within hours, submittals were flooding the servers – witty entries like Fostering Energy Conser­vation and Ecological Sanitation, or FECES, and Austin Sustainability Services, or ASS, are a representative sampling of the dozens of anally fixated entries from users apparently under the illusion that SWS handles human solid waste, not trash. Another inspired submission was Get Our Austin Thoroughly Sanitized Everyone, or GOATSE – so named for the infamous Internet shock photo that, once seen, can’t be unseen. That entry has since been pulled, but as of this writing, Lemon Party – so named for another NSFW meme – is sitting pretty in fifth place.

But then there’s first place, and from this sea of puerile ass-hattery, “Fred Durst Society of the Humanities and Arts” stands out. You could call it a backhanded compliment – but bear in mind, it’s named for the frontman of a band that emerged from a giant toilet bowl on its first major tour. Kyle Hentges, the 24-year-old Austinite who initially suggested the society, e-mailed the Hustle, attaching a video clip he calls “part of his inspiration”: a mash-up of crunk diva Ke$ha’s autotune abortion “TiK ToK” cut with several of Durst’s Limp Bizkit singles, the aural equivalent of a Four Loko blackout bender.

I proposed an acronym that spelled out “POOPIE,” but I can’t remember what it stood for.

Once voting closed, Fred Durst had 29,796 votes, more than 27,000 more than the second-place finisher. At that point, the final decision was up to the city. That was in February 2011. As of right now, in August 2012, the city department is called Austin Resource Recovery, or ARR. Presumably this is due to our city’s love of pirates, of which I knew nothing until just now.

Photo credit: ‘PiratesPopCulture’ by Superdantastic (Themed) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.


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Texas is represented by a dog sitting in a bowl

XKCD has always been endearingly weird, but this is quite a head-scratcher:

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Image credit: ‘United Shapes’ [CC BY-NC 2.5], via xkcd.


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