“Van Control”

(I’m re-posting a Facebook comment here, because it might be useful in the future. All snark has been preserved, because I’m sick of this crap.)

The post:

When a 64 year old white man kills 58 and wounds 500 in fifteen minutes from 1200 feet with a knife, I will absolutely call for knife control. Until then, you've made the world's shittiest point.

The response:

A van killed 86 people in less than 3 mins, van control anyone????

The comment:

Oh, you sweet, sweet man. You’re obviously new here.
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A Good Dog

Our dog is sick. We don’t even know what that means just yet, but we know she’s far from the spry days of her youth.

It might be cancer. It might just be old age. Fifteen years is a hell of a run for any dog. Look May right in the face, though, and you’ll see that she’s not done yet. Not by a long shot. Continue reading

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When a Rather Sexist “Joke” Backfires in Spectacular Fashion

The Civil Rights Act of 1964 protects people from discrimination in employment, public accommodations, public facilities, federally-assisted programs, and other areas. In most of these, it prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, national origin, and religion.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, which deals with employment discrimination, adds sex as a protected category. Over the years, Title VII’s prohibition on sex discrimination has been expanded to include sexual harassment and pregnancy discrimination. One has to wonder, though—how did sex end up in Title VII as a protected category, if it’s not anywhere else in the law? Join me for a historical odyssey into the realm of unintended—but awesome—consequences.

President Lyndon B. Johnson was adamant about getting the Civil Rights Act passed. It would prove to be one of the signature achievements of his time in office, and the major event that sparked the reshuffling of party positions*.
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“Everyday Americans”

It’s the little things that sometimes reveal far more about ourselves than we realize.

Or, as Bob Chipman put it on Twitter, “Most revealing quote EVER.”


To be clear, this is not about picking on one person quoted in Time. It’s about the casual assumption behind a key portion of the quote. See if you can spot it.

Shannon Goodin, 24, Owosso, Mich. A first-time voter who doesn’t consider herself a Democrat or a Republican, Goodin says Trump earned her support by being "a big poster child for change," adding, "Politicians don’t appeal to us. Clinton would go out of her way to appeal to minorities, immigrants, but she didn’t really for everyday Americans."

Shannon Goodin, 24, Owosso, Mich. A first-time voter who doesn’t consider herself a Democrat or a Republican, Goodin says Trump earned her support by being “a big poster child for change,” adding, “Politicians don’t appeal to us. Clinton would go out of her way to appeal to minorities, immigrants, but she didn’t really for everyday Americans.”

“Minorities.”

“Immigrants.”

“EVERYDAY AMERICANS.”

See the problem here?

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Some Thoughts on “Tolerance,” Post-Election 2016

I’ve been called “intolerant” multiple times today*, all because when Trump voters have felt the need to tell us they are not personally racist misogynist bigots—they just voted for one—I have refused to take their word for it.

If that’s what “tolerance” is, then tolerance is useless.

I am tolerant of all Trump voters.

I tolerate them. I don’t think Trump voters should be subjected to unproven reparative therapies. I don’t think Trump voters should be subjected to warrantless stop-and-frisk searches. I think Trump voters should be able to marry whomever they want, provided it’s a consenting adult. I think we should trust Trump voters to make their own reproductive decisions for themselves and their families. I don’t think an unarmed Trump voter should be viewed by police as any more of a threat than anyone else. I don’t believe Trump voters should be subjected to heightened scrutiny at airports just because of how they look or what they’re wearing. I don’t think Trump voters should be subjected to catcalling, harassment, or assault just for walking down the street.

“Intolerance” is when you believe the opposite of any of the things I just said (except substitute a different group for “Trump voters.”)

What tolerance does not mean is that I cannot criticize your beliefs or actions. It does not mean that I have to accept your actions when they hurt others.

If you are asking me not to criticize you, and not to call you out on your bullshit when I see it, all in the name of “tolerance,” you’re not actually asking for my tolerance.

You’re asking for my obedience.

I’m telling you right now, you can’t have it.

Trump hasn’t been shy about speaking his mind about the people in this society that he doesn’t like. I will never treat you the way Trump has treated or threatens to treat women, LGBTQ people, immigrants, Muslims, people of color, and others.

I will always tolerate you.

I will not, however, be quiet, nor will I be obedient.

You sure as hell wouldn’t be if your candidate had lost.


* I posted the foregoing to Facebook the day after the election. It got more likes and shares than just about anything else I’ve ever posted, so I figured I’d re-publish it here.

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“Perfect Organism” (UPDATED)

Consider the cat.

Specifically, consider the cat’s drive to kill.

"The reason cats are so pissy is they're God's perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them" – Tweet by David Thorpe

Now, consider this classic scene from Alien, but imagine that they’re talking about Jones, the ship’s cat, instead of the eight-foot-tall, acid-bleeding xenomorph: Continue reading

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“I was just a kid they called his sidekick…”

When I asked my wife to marry me, one of this first things she said to me (after “yes,” thankfully) was to ask if the Gourds could play our wedding. It wasn’t really a question—she was telling me that we would hire the Gourds to play, and that our wedding budget would have to work around whatever it cost. As I happen to love the Gourds, too, I had no objection.

I mention the Gourds because they are part of a long, proud, twangy tradition of Texas country/folk/bluegrass/etc. musicians. The Gourds certainly had their own unique sound, distinct from just about any other band I know, but they also belong to a tradition pioneered by people like Guy Clark, who died a few days ago at the age of 74.

This has been a bad year for music. Guy Clark’s death has hit me much closer to home than others, and it’s not just because he’s from Texas, or because he is a legend of Texas music. I don’t even know all that many of his songs. He wasn’t a singularly unique artist like David Bowie or Prince. It’s doubtful that anyone could call him a “visionary” on the same scale as Bowie or Prince. Guy Clark was an old guy with a guitar, writing and singing what he knew. He did it very, very well. And a whole lot of people loved him for it. Continue reading

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Oceanfront Property

If you’re into this whole “climate change threatens coastal ecosystems” thing (and you should be, because, you know, science and all that), Climate Central has an interactive map that shows how sea-level rise could affect coastal areas.

Here’s Houston, Texas with a one-foot rise in sea levels:

Screen Shot 2016-04-08 at 1.08.09 PM

And here it is with a ten-foot rise: Continue reading

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Preaching to the Choir

This bit of news from the legal world probably shouldn’t come as much of a surprise:

Florida Bar President Ramon Abadin invited every male South Florida law firm managing partner to a speech he gave Wednesday about gender bias in the legal profession. Apparently just one showed up, the head of a small law firm.

“I’m highly disappointed there aren’t more positions of power here in the room,” he said. “I realize I’m preaching to the choir.”

Anger bubbled over in the sold-out room dominated by women in the Miami chapter of the Florida Association for Women Lawyers. The chapter hosted Abadin weeks after a Florida Bar survey of female attorneys found widespread sexism in the justice system, with 43 percent of women reporting personal experience with gender bias.

“I thought the number should be zero,” he said. “In my naive mind, maybe it would be 5 percent. But people privately tell me the number is actually higher.”

At least he knows now, so I guess that’s something. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Cute: Spiders (Well, Maybe…)

Can spiders ever be cute? The creator of this listicle at the website LOL Gallery Infatuation seems to think so. I generally—and rather vehemently—disagree, which is why this post does not reproduce any of the pictures displayed over there.

I have addressed the question of whether arthropods can ever meet the standard human definition of “cute” before, and I’ve even found some examples among the insects and the crustaceans. I do not feel that I am ready, however, to extend any amount of squee to the arachnids, especially the members of the order Araneae. Maybe I just need time…

Others clearly disagree with me, though: Continue reading

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