This Week in WTF, August 2, 2013

– A guy’s friends were helping him move, and decided to poke around under the porch. That’s where they found 37 clowns, and the fuel for a lifetime of nightmares.

– With all due respect to the California University of Management, they might want to have a serious talk with their marketing team.

logohome

Just sayin’.

– A nursing home in the Bronx is encouraging its residents to have sex, at least according to a rather sensationalistic headline. This is a “WTF” story more for the response it is likely to generate than for anything inherently odd. The CEO of the facility said it quite well:

Very few nursing homes around the country acknowledged the sexual behavior or intimacy of their residents. We realized that there needed to be a grown-up conversation and a grown-up policies and procedures to govern this behavior…Our position is very strongly that consenting adults who have capacity, this is a civil right of theirs. They do not give up a civil right simply because they are in need of nursing care in a facility. And that our obligation as a nursing facility is to encourage their civil rights, as we would do with respect to voting.

The trick will be figuring this out for dementia patients.

– This GIF is very WTF-worthy, and doesn’t really make me want Pringles:

shower me with your naturally flavored artificially colored potato based snack food

Via imgur.

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This Week in WTF, July 26, 2013

– The set that served as the home of both Luke and Anakin Skywalker in the Tunisian desert is facing imminent burial by an oncoming sand dune. The dune will eventually move on, but it’s likely that Tatooine will never quite be the same.

– The town of Rjukan, Norway, faces five months of darkness every winter. (Take that, Barrow, Alaska!) To offset the various negative health effects of such prolonged darkness—e.g. rickets, depression, and vampire attacks—the town plans to install giant mirrors that will reflect sunlight from nearby mountaintops. Think of it as a modern-day Beacon of Amon Din.

– The idiots-who-shall-not-be-named-by-me from Topeka plan on picketing some same-sex marriages in Rhode Island next month. They issued a news release with their plans, in which they accuse the U.S. population of being illiterate. They misspelled “illiterate.”

– The Steven Buscemi dress is something you should not wear, apparently.

Via Incredible Things/Facebook

Via Incredible Things/Facebook.

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This Week in WTF, July 19, 2013

Ingus Bajars/Courtesy of Kaspar Jursons, via NPR

Ingus Bajars/Courtesy of Kaspar Jursons, via NPR

– The “sink-urinal,” known formally as “Stand,” from Latvian designer Kaspars Jursons, allows dudes to wash their hands while they pee. Jursons reportedly came up with the design as a way to address water shortages in Europe. The same water used to wash your hands also flushes the waste. It’s actually rather brilliant, in the sense that you don’t have to wait in line to use a urinal and then again to wash your hands. On the flip side, you might have to zip up with wet hands. Jursons is also working on a design for women’s restrooms, although I have no idea how that would work, and might not want to know.

– The Wine Rack Bra. Need I say more? Continue reading

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This Week in WTF, July 12, 2013

– Kansas passed a law allowing gun owners to pack heat in public buildings, including schools. Now most of the state’s school districts are having a hard time renewing their insurance. Oops.

– A 63 year-old self-described “LEGO fanatic” in Canada had his youthful dreams dashed when he was denied entry to a Legoland Discovery Center in Vaughan, Ontario. He and his daughter drove three hours to get there, but they were stopped at the door by employees who cited a policy requiring adults to have at least one child with them. The man’s daughter said that “the look on her dad’s face matched that of a disappointed kid who didn’t get what they hoped for at Christmas.”

The marketing manager of the facility later said that “she would have escorted Mr. St-Onge through the exhibit had she known his circumstances.” I had no difficulty getting into the Legoland in San Diego when I was 34 years old, along with two adult friends, one in his early 30s, one in her late 20s. As one who once lived for little else but building LEGO sets, I feel for the guy. As one who no longer feels the same sense of joy when presented with a box full of LEGO blocks, I also envy him.

– Germany is still having a problem with forest swastikas. Not sure I can add much to that.

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This Week in WTF, July 5, 2013

Once again, nothing much tops the shenanigans of the Texas Capitol this week when it comes to WTF, but here are a few stories that I caught.

– First up, an awesome story: Christina Stephens, who lost her left leg in a “foot crush injury,” has built a prosthetic limb for herself out of LEGO bricks.

National Park Service [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

National Park Service [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

– Tulsa, Oklahoma is considering a bid to host the 2024 Summer Olympics, which Deadspin calls “adorable.” What makes it WTF-worthy is that the city is reportedly using the Trail of Tears in its bid, as a selling point.

In a nod to the state’s American Indian history, the Olympic torch would be led along the solemn Trail of Tears, not far from where field hockey would be played in Tahlequah.

Just to bring you up to speed on that bit of American history, here’s what the National Park Service has to say about it:

In 1838, the United States government forcibly removed more than 16,000 Cherokee Indian people from their homelands in Tennessee, Alabama, North Carolina, and Georgia, and sent them to Indian Territory (today known as Oklahoma).

The impact to the Cherokee was devastating. Hundreds of Cherokee died during their trip west, and thousands more perished from the consequences of relocation. This tragic chapter in American and Cherokee history became known as the Trail of Tears, and culminated the implementation of the Indian Removal Act of 1830, which mandated the removal of all American Indian tribes east of the Mississippi River to lands in the West.

And there’s this from PBS:

The Cherokee, on the other hand, were tricked with an illegitimate treaty. In 1833, a small faction agreed to sign a removal agreement: the Treaty of New Echota. The leaders of this group were not the recognized leaders of the Cherokee nation, and over 15,000 Cherokees — led by Chief John Ross — signed a petition in protest. The Supreme Court ignored their demands and ratified the treaty in 1836. The Cherokee were given two years to migrate voluntarily, at the end of which time they would be forcibly removed. By 1838 only 2,000 had migrated; 16,000 remained on their land. The U.S. government sent in 7,000 troops, who forced the Cherokees into stockades at bayonet point. They were not allowed time to gather their belongings, and as they left, whites looted their homes. Then began the march known as the Trail of Tears, in which 4,000 Cherokee people died of cold, hunger, and disease on their way to the western lands.

This kind of puts the 1996 Atlanta Summer Olympics in a different perspective.

– A Belgian diplomat and his wife apparently found themselves at the center of a terrorism investigation, of sorts, after she tried to breastfeed their baby in a posh country club while in possession of a black backpack. Accounts differ over what exactly happened, but a police officer allegedly told the woman, “In Sri Lanka, babies are used by terrorists…You have to understand, this club has had terrorism threats in the past.” So babies are precious gifts and terrorist accoutrements, I guess.

Photo credit: National Park Service [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

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This Week in WTF, June 28, 2013

0funny-dog-pictures-wtfThis was quite a week. Not much can top the shenanigans at the Texas Capitol, but here are a few WTFs to get your blood boiling anew.

– This headline says it all: “Bigoted Gun-Nuts Create Pork-Tipped Bullets to Send Muslims ‘To Hell.'” They allegedly sell ammo coated “with a special ballistic paint infused with pork to make it ‘Haraam’ or unclean to a radical Jihadist.” As AATP points out in their article, these idiots “don’t seem to understand that the penalty mentioned in the Qur’an is meant for those who voluntarily consume pork, not get shot with pig-infused paint covered bullets.”

– A woman in Georgia noticed that her birth certificate erroneously listed her gender as male. This proved to be a problem when she went to renew her driver’s license, at the age of 37, and was required to prove that she was, in fact, female. According to The Raw Story, the Georgia Department of Driver Services required her to undergo a pelvic exam and get a doctor’s note. Yes, a doctor’s note saying she’s a woman. The state’s Vital Record Service, who must have hired all the smart people, said that requiring the test violated protocol, and confirmed her gender (again) by checking her son’s birth certificate.

– Back in Texas, this shit happened:


That’s all I came up with this week. I was kinda busy.

Photo credit: Via bellaescritor.com.

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This Week in WTF, June 21, 2013

http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2013/06/19/193493225/the-love-that-dared-not-speak-its-name-of-a-beetle-for-a-beer-bottle?utm_source=npr&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=20130619

– I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but this snake can open doors.

– Jon Gosselin killed the Ed Hardy brand, according to Ed Hardy. I’m so glad we got that out of the way.

– Here’s a story that sounds like what might happen if the producers of the Saw series made a Lifetime Original Movie:

A teenage girl beheaded her father with a bush knife after he raped her at their home in Papua New Guinea, a report said Monday, with community leaders protecting her, saying the man deserved to die.

The Post-Courier newspaper said the 18-year-old chopped her father’s head clean off after he repeatedly raped her last Tuesday night in their village in the poverty-stricken Pacific nation’s Western Highlands.

The report cited a pastor as saying the father, in his mid-40s, had three other children and raped his daughter when they were alone in the house after the mother and the other siblings visited relatives.

Pastor Lucas Kumi said the man went to his daughter’s room in the night and raped her repeatedly.

“The father wanted to rape his daughter again in the morning inside the house and that was when the young girl picked up the bush knife and chopped her father’s head off,” he said.

Community leaders are now refusing to hand the girl over to police, vowing to protect her.

I can’t really add anything to that, and I’m sure as hell not going to snark about it.

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Happy World Sauntering Day!

Today, June 19, is World Sauntering Day, a day to walk (per Wikipedia) “slowly, preferably with a joyful disposition.” Remember, however, that a saunter “is not a sashayprancetrot, or lollygag.”

I can’t say for certain, but I suspect that World Sauntering Day has the approval of Britain’s Ministry of Silly Walks.

tumblr_mggputSMyu1qc2bleo4_250

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The BAMF in Baytown

Do. Not. F***. With Dorothy Baker (© Good Morning America)

Do. Not. F***. With Dorothy Baker (© Good Morning America)

A mother in Baytown, Texas deserves a hearty BAMF designation, not only for selflessly protecting her kids, but also for thinking quite quickly when faced with something that’s supposed to be an urban legend. Via Good Morning America:

While Dorothy Baker and her 2-year-old and 5-year-old sons were shopping Friday at a CVS in Baytown, Texas, a man identified as Ismael Martinez allegedly hid out in her unlocked van, police said.

When the family got back into the car, Baker said Martinez “popped up out of the backseat and said that if I didn’t want my kids to get hurt, that I would do exactly what he said.”

Martinez, 54, allegedly pulled a knife on Baker while she was driving and demanded she stop at an ATM for money, she said.

When she refused, Martinez allegedly became violent, she said.

Baker said she fought back, refusing to compromise the safety of her children.

“She’s got a cut that goes across her chest, and she grabbed the knife and he bit her hand,” Baker’s husband, Charles Flugence said.

“I took my fist and I hit him in the face, and I told him to get out of my car,” Baker said.

Baker intentionally drove her van into a telephone pole in hopes of sending Martinez through the front windshield, according to the Baytown Police Department crime report.

Police said she managed to dial 911 while she grappled with the suspect in hopes that a dispatcher might hear what was going on in the car and find a way to help, ABC station KTRK-TV in Houston reported.

“I thought, ‘If you swerve and hit the pole, he’s not wearing a seatbelt, he’ll go through the windshield or at least hit his head, and you can stop him. You can do something to make sure that he doesn’t hurt your kids,'” Baker told KTRK-TV. “That’s all I was thinking of really, was just to get him away from my kids.”

Police said Martinez eventually jumped out of the van and tried to flee. But before Baker knew it, she had run her car into him.

“I didn’t mean to run him over,” she said. “I was just trying to stop him so he didn’t hurt anybody else.”

Her goal was to keep her kids safe, but she may also go down in BAMF history:

“You don’t come after people with kids,” she said. “I told him he messed with the wrong witch.”

I wouldn’t fault her at all if, in the moment, she didn’t use the word “witch.”

Photo credit: © Good Morning America

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This Week in WTF, June 14, 2013

Zero Nerf Tolerance: A school in Edmonds, Washington suspended a group of students who brought Nerf guns to school, which is not all that surprising given schools’ “zero tolerance” policy for anything resembling childhood. What makes it interesting is that the Nerf guns were supposedly part of a school project, and that the kids claim they had their teacher’s permission to have them. Their parents are less than thrilled. In an unrelated incident, school officials in Maryland caught a kindergarten student with a cap gun. Again, zero tolerance blah blah blah, but they allegedly held him for questioning for two hours without calling anybody, and frightened the child to the point that he wet himself. That’ll teach him to trust school administrators! (Maybe that wasn’t the lesson they intended…)

I could conceivably see some trademark issues here... (© @KUboobs/Twitter)

I could conceivably see some trademark issues here… (© @KUboobs/Twitter)

Branded in Kansas: If you want to highlight the cleavage of a major Midwestern university’s coeds, be sure not to use the school’s logo or name in a commercial way. That seems to be the trouble with @KUboobs, a Twitter page that posts “boob selfies” featuring cleavage under University of Kansas t-shirts:

The trend began after University of Kansas student Tiffany Kent tweeted a photo of her breasts in a Jayhawks shirt with the hashtag #kuboobs in the hope of boosting support for her struggling college basketball team during a game in February last year.

The move proved to be a successful one, inspiring a sensational turnaround for the Jayhawks, from a 19-point deficit to a one-point-lead over the Missouri Tigers by the end of the game.

The trend has since gone nationwide too, with over 30 spin-off ‘boobs’ Twitter accounts dedicated to cleavage-led support for other colleges, such as @UF_Boobs@bamaboobs@arboobs and @vandyboobs.

The page has over 62,000 followers, but the university sent a cease and desist letter objecting to the sale of unauthorized merchandise bearing KU and Jayhawk brands. This led to a campaign to save the page, which uses the hashtag #saveKUboobs. The school’s athletic director emphasized that they were not trying to shut down the Twitter page, but rather to stop the sale of trademark-infringing merchandise.

Lest you think that @KUboobs is just about boobs, they engage in charitable activities involving boobs as well:

The Pirates of Cornwall: Senegalese authorities arrested two Cornish men who converted a yacht into a warship, sort of, and then took it from a Spanish impound in the Canary Islands. Because this story would be very boring without the words “marine commandos,” Continue reading

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