With his epic mohawk, this monkey has single-handedly refuted every example of the “Your argument is invalid” meme. Eat it, internet.
!["Saguinus oedipus (Linnaeus, 1758)" by Michael Gäbler [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons 800px-Saguinus_oedipus_(Linnaeus,_1758)](http://crypticphilosopher.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/800px-Saguinus_oedipus_Linnaeus_1758.jpg)
Cottontop Tamarin in the Tierpark Bad Pyrmont in Bad Pyrmont, Lower Saxony, Germany
With his epic mohawk, this monkey has single-handedly refuted every example of the “Your argument is invalid” meme. Eat it, internet.
!["Saguinus oedipus (Linnaeus, 1758)" by Michael Gäbler [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons 800px-Saguinus_oedipus_(Linnaeus,_1758)](http://crypticphilosopher.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/800px-Saguinus_oedipus_Linnaeus_1758.jpg)
Cottontop Tamarin in the Tierpark Bad Pyrmont in Bad Pyrmont, Lower Saxony, Germany
Some people believe the earth is only six to nine thousand years old, while others prefer to remain (to use a phrase ironically) agnostic on the subject. Specifically, Georgia Republican Paul Broun expressed his “opinion” that the earth is only 9,000 years old. Florida Republican Marco Rubio, however, stated that the question of the earth’s age “has nothing to do with the gross domestic product or economic growth of the United States,” but that he thinks that “there are multiple theories out there on how the universe was created and I think this is a country where people should have the opportunity to teach them all.”
Can we really just live and let live on what may or may not have happened sometime between 6,000 and 4.5 billion years ago? You know, agree to disagree? Also, is this question irrelevant to our present-day economic concerns?
No, to both questions. And here is why.
One reason is scientific, and the other is political. First, the science: If the earth is only 9,000 years old, then all of observed science is wrong in ways that put everyone’s lives at imminent risk, and that also strip me of any certainty that this blog post will ever make it from my iPad to the server, and then to your computer.
Alex Knapp, writing at Forbes, explains why science is important to our modern economy:
…the age of the universe has a lot to do with how our economy is going to grow. That’s because large parts of the economy absolutely depend on scientists being right about either the age of the Universe or the laws of the Universe that allow scientists to determine its age.
For example, fiber optics:
Virtually all modern technology relies on optics in some way, shape or form. And in the science of optics, the fact that the speed of light is constant in a vacuum is taken for granted. But the speed of light must not be constant if the universe is only 9,000 years old. It must be capable of being much, much faster. That means that the fundamental physics underlying the Internet, DVDs, laser surgery, and many many more critical parts of the economy are based on bad science. The consequences of that could be drastic, given our dependence on optics for our economic growth.
In other words, if we don’t know the speed of light, then our entire fiber optics-based communications infrastructure is incorrectly calibrated. Our nuclear industry is in even bigger trouble, though:
Here’s an even more disturbing thought – scientists currently believe that the Earth is about 4.54 billion years old because radioactive substances decay at generally stable rates. Accordingly, by observing how much of a radioactive substance has decayed, scientists are able to determine how old that substance is. However, if the Earth is only 9,000 years old, then radioactive decay rates are unstable and subject to rapid acceleration under completely unknown circumstances. This poses an enormous danger to the country’s nuclear power plants, which could undergo an unanticipated meltdown at any time due to currently unpredictable circumstances. Likewise, accelerated decay could lead to the detonation of our nuclear weapons, and cause injuries and death to people undergoing radioactive treatments in hospitals. Any of these circumstances would obviously have a large economic impact.
If the Earth is really 9,000 years old, as Paul Broun believes and Rubio is willing to remain ignorant about, it becomes imperative to shut down our nuclear plants and dismantle our nuclear stockpiles now until such time as scientists are able to ascertain what circumstances exist that could cause deadly acceleration of radioactive decay and determine how to prevent it from happening.
This is not to say that the earth is 4.5 billion years old because our economy needs it to be so. This is to say that our economy, and all of the technological marvels it has produced, would not exist if the earth were significantly younger (or older), based on the observations scientists have painstakingly compiled over the course of centuries, confirmed experimentally, and harnessed for our benefit. That is, unless you think your cell phone runs on Jesus.
If Paul Broun does not immediately call for the dismantling of our entire nuclear arsenal, then he is either a fool or a liar. That brings me to the political reason this is important.
Any politician who honestly believes in something like a 6,000 to 9,000 year-old earth has disqualified themselves from taking an active role in developing science policy. They can go off and debate angels dancing on the heads of 6,000-year-old pins all they want, but unless they are willing to go to bat for the full impact of what they believe, i.e. the risk of imminent nuclear meltdown worldwide, they need to take a seat.
Any politician who doesn’t believe this, but plays along to get votes, is among the worst sort of craven liar out there, and that should disqualify them, too. I’ll give Ron Chusid (who provided the Knapp quote) the final word on that:
Politicians who are ignorant of basic science are not capable of making rational decisions on public policy in the 21st century. It is possible that Rubio might be more knowledgeable about science but feels it is necessary to deny scientific facts to maintain the support of the anti-science right wing. If this is the case, such cowardice is also not desirable from those in government.
Photo credit: ‘Earth Structure’ [
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This is a good example of efficient cat packaging. Note how a seemingly endless series of cats is able to exit the container.

This cat, however, was not packed properly, and now the recipient is having difficulty unwrapping him.

Here’s a kitten doing cute stuff in a way that is totally unrelated to the previous pictures.

Amusingly, this led to what appeared to be a very quiet downtown Austin. Whatever extra traffic appeared thanks to the addition of Euro racing fans was offset by a lack of Austinites. Well, that’s my unscientific theory, anyway. Aside from a noticeably higher volume of helicopter traffic, the roads were smooth sailing between at least 6 and 11 p.m. last night. I’m not sure how crowded Rainey Street normally is, since it is not part of my regular social rotation, but finding price-gouged parking was quite easy, and getting out of the parking lot later in the night was also easy.
It wasn’t just Rainey Street, either. If Twitter is any indication, the West Sixth Street and Red River scenes were both quiet as well.
Wow. West Sixth Street very quiet. Seems like Austin’s ancillary entertainment districts have not been discovered by F1 visitors.
— Michael Barnes (@outandabout) November 18, 2012
@outandabout Red River had ample parking all nite last night as well.F1 scared off regulars, hoping for better tonight
— Elysium (@ElysiumAustin) November 18, 2012
My advice to you, Austinites, is to get back out there. We are allegedly overwhelmed by obscenely wealthy foreigners who are trying to decide if Austin is a good market on which to drop a buttload of money. If this city can handle more than a week of South by Southwest traffic, we can handle two days of F1. Get back out there and be weird.
Photo credit: “First lap 2001 Canada” by Paul Lannuier from Sussex, NJ, USA (Lap 1) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 or CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons.
– Police in Manatee County, Florida arrested a woman for “masturbating while high in Starbucks.” Well, that’s what the headline said, anyway. A police spokesperson claimed that “she was high on crack with her hands going everywhere” and that “her hands went into her pants when she was wigging out.” The police also claimed that the woman was “high on crack” because they allegedly found a pipe with cocaine residue in her purse. However, the spokesperson also conceded that “no one could ever say for sure what she was doing, and I’m pretty sure the video didn’t show anything definitive.”
So, maybe high, and maybe trying to double-click her mouse in the middle of Starbucks. But never let uncertainty stand in the way of a sensational headline!
– In a similar gross misuse of the English language, the Houston Chronicle’s “Celebrity Buzz” section asks the timeless questions “Was Amanda Bynes naked at tanning salon?” I admit I clicked the link out of befuddlement, because aren’t people supposed to be naked, or mostly naked, while tanning indoors? (My clicking of the link had no other motivation whatsoever. Really.)
The actual article gave a bit more detail, now that it had suckered me into clicking the link. Random reports by people who like to report things about celebrities indicated that Bynes might have been “wander[ing] around a New York tanning salon completely naked.” The answer to the titular question? (See what I did there?) No, Amanda Bynes was not walking around naked in the public area of the tanning salon. In fact, she might sue the folks who started that rumor, because suing someone is a great way to deflect attention away from yourself. </sarcasm>
– The latest issue of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s ominously-titled Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report includes a study of energy drink usage among active-duty military personnel on combat deployments. (h/t Anstoetter and McDonough)
The conclusion? Energy drinks cause sleep disruption.
Science wept.
Photo credit: “Mouse in the hand” by idesign-er on stock.xchng.
The city of Austin should be engorged with pride to know that we have reached a sufficient level of pride, not only to attract the international allure of Formula 1 racing, but also the brilliant performance art of Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Players. (h/t Russell)
[WARNING: I’m in an extra sarcastic mood, so I kind of let loose verbally in this post. If you don’t want to read multiple alternatives to the word “penis,” you might not want to continue beyond this point.]
The Austin Chronicle gives us their media release explaining the crux of their upcoming performance:
WBC will picket Formula 1 racing at The Circuit of The Americas in Austin, TX to remind this nation that God hates the vwicked people of this land of vain idolaters and that they shall be turned into Hell. These sporting events resemble the patriotic worship-the-flag pep rallies masquerading as sodlier’s funerals in that this Bible-ignorant fools worship these race car drivers like they are little gods! Shame on these people for worshipping these athletes instead of following the plain commandments of their God. They ought to obey today before it is too late. WBC knows they will not, never the less, we will kindly warn them to flee the wrath to come. These are the last days of all, Doomed america. Wake up before you find yourselves cast into the deep pit of endless fire! [sic]
Note the strategically-placed spelling errors and the avante garde disregard for pedestrian grammar rules. Yes, the Phelps clan will be bringing their unique artistic stylings to the Circuit of the Americas, where they can spread their message of Dadaist non-conformity to the elite racing fans of Europe and other places where people have enough money to charter their own helicopters. Continue reading
Retiring Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison recently opined on how her party (the Republicans) really blew it with women voters:
“When we talk about women’s issues and the social issues, people have to stop acting like the woman is a throw-away here,” the Texas senator, who is retiring, said on CNN’s “Starting Point.” “We’ve got to talk to women about the issues they care about.”
[Emphasis added.] I noticed something during the campaign when certain Republican candidates discussed issues pertaining to anyone who did not fit the affluent white Christian male demographic. It seemed to me like they tended to talk about people in those groups (e.g. women, people of color, LGBT people), but they rarely if ever talked to them. I’m not just referring to the more abhorrent of the Republican field, a la Todd Akin. Even Mitt Romney had a tendency, when addressing women’s issues, to speak as though he were discussing abstract concepts, rather than deeply-held concerns that affect the lives of more than half of the people in this country.
I don’t see how the Republican party can stop being the party of old, rich, white, Christian men, and those who aspire to belong to their club, without more soul-searching and compromise than is possible. Then again, people sang dirges to the demise of the Republican Party in 2006 and 2008, and the same was said of the Democratic Party in 2004 and 2010. It is impossible to say what will happen to the two parties with which we are stuck, but it is fun to guess.
I’m just glad to see that there is at least one Republican senator – albeit a retiring one – who is getting a clue.
Photo credit: “Kay Bailey Hutchison, official photo 2” by United States Congress. (http://hutchison.senate.gov/resources/presskit.zip) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.
We had an election this week (you might have noticed.) Supporters of the guy who didn’t win got a bit, um, unhinged. My only real challenge was narrowing down the WTF to a few choice examples. Finding a winner was not so hard, though.
First, some words for Republicans threatening to move to Canada, via Americans Against the Tea Party:

Yes, a Galtian wonderland Canada is not.
The Grand Prize, though, goes to teenage Kristen Neel, who may have encountered this week’s sharpest learning curve with her stated desire to move to Australia (via the Global Secular Humanist Movement):

No media establishment, it would seem, was more amused by this than the Australian media. Neel’s folly appeared in The Age and the Courier-Mail.
Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard, who has held that office since June 24, 2010, sounds like quite the bad-ass. She certainly has neither time nor patience for the more sexist elements of the government.
I hope Ms. Neal has learned something from this little kerfuffle. Two lessons that spring to mind:
1. Australia is a more complicated place than you might think. Plus, it is full of creatures that are eager to kill you.
2. The internet sur does have a way of magnifying our little goofs, doesn’t it?