In Space, No One Can Hear You Meow

I guess this is from the remake of Alien where they replaced all of the humans with cats. I wonder if they replaced Jones the cat with a human.

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Monday Morning Cute: The Kids Are Alright.

Get it? The kids are alright? Oh never mind. Here are some goats.

Via tumblr.com

This kid should not have messed with this other kid:

Via youngnyquil.tumblr.com

Via youngnyquil.tumblr.com

This kid has crazy tail!!!

Via aimlessme.tumblr.com

Via aimlessme.tumblr.com

Go home, kid. You’re drunk:

Via spectacularhead.tumblr.com

Via spectacularhead.tumblr.com

Kids these days:

Via lilmissmessie.tumblr.com

Via lilmissmessie.tumblr.com

Yes, technically, that is an adult goat, but shut up.

Finally, here is a goat riding a tortoise, thus bringing balance to the universe.

Via sirfucknuggets.tumblr.com (yes, really)

Via sirfucknuggets.tumblr.com (yes, really)

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Has It Occurred to the Pearl-Clutchers that Miley Cyrus Might Be Deliberately Screwing With Them?

Via laurapreponme.tumblr.com

Via laurapreponme.tumblr.com

An article on some website takes Billy Ray Cyrus to task for not condemning his daughter’s blatant acting-like-a-sexually-independent-young-adult in her latest video. (The article’s subtitle states “BILLY RAY CYRUS ENABLES MILEY BY APPROVING HIS DAUGHTER’S NUDE VIDEO FOR ‘WRECKING BALL.'”) When asked about her mostly-nude performance in the “Wrecking Ball video” (because a father’s opinion is the most relevant thing regarding anything an adult woman does), Billy Ray reportedly said:

“I’m a song man. A musician singer songwriter who loves all styles of music. But again…I come from the old school where it starts with an artist and a song …colliding if you will … in a moment where the song, the singer, the producer, the band and the listener become one. It wouldn’t have mattered if Miley would have worn jeans and a flannel shirt, a tux or a nun’s habit,” and that “her performance vocally on the tune reflects her root and sheer God-given talent.”

The author’s response to this supportive father, who is clearly proud of his daughter’s musical chops?

Seriously Billy Ray! It would have totally mattered! She might actually be taken seriously instead of the butt of every joke.

An expression of concern about a young woman being “the butt of every joke” is utterly, completely meaningless when it comes from the people making those jokes. Continue reading

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Happy Friday the 13th

Every year, around this time (i.e. approaching Halloween), I have to confront the contradictory facts that I do not like slasher films on a very fundamental level, yet I cannot seem to turn away from them when I come across them on TV. (Whether or not I deliberately seek them out on some subconscious level will have to be a question for my biographers.) Since SyFy is apparently running a Friday the 13th marathon today, I suppose the die is cast. In honor (or shame) of this film franchise, here are some (mostly-non-gory) GIFs culled from Google. Spoiler/NSFW alert, I guess.

The original slasher, Pamela Voorhees:

Via patron-saint-of-the-denial.tumblr.com

Via patron-saint-of-the-denial.tumblr.com

Via cheatingjudases.tumblr.com

Via cheatingjudases.tumblr.com

An early appearance of George McFly:

Via x-entertainment.com

Via x-entertainment.com

The man himself: Continue reading

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The Prank to End All Pranks, feat. a Velociraptor

I’m actually kind of serious when I say “to end all pranks.” Call me a buzzkill, but I do not like practical jokes. The person who is the subject of the prank generally has to be convinced that whatever misfortune just befell them is actually funny, and their acceptance of the humor often seems quite unconvincing. Not my type of humor. (Yes, I have been on the receiving end of more than a few pranks, and I prefer not to pay it forward.)

That said, this velociraptor prank at the very least gets points for serious effort. (It helps to have a programming budget, of course.) (I’m also allowing for the possibility that the whole thing is staged. The camera angles seem awfully obtrusive if the prankee were to remain unsuspecting.) I helpfully assembled it into animated GIFs:

Some commenters wondered how the prankee didn’t notice the obviously human legs sticking out of the bottom of the velociraptor’s body. All I can say is, go watch the video again, and see if you notice the legs at all while that toothy velociraptor face is pointed in your direction.

I do make some exceptions to my anti-prank leanings. Any prank played on Dwight by Jim, or on Gareth by Tim, is acceptable.

Just remember, it’s all fun and games until the target of your prank gets hit by a car trying to escape:

(Yes, that video is fake, but it still serves as an effective warning of the dangers of pranks. [Note that the “accomplice” is Jonas Quinn of Stargate SG-1 fame.])

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Monday Morning Cute: The Sharkcat and Its Steed

The sight of a cat dressed in a shark costume riding a Roomba around the kitchen will never, ever get old.

A cat dressed as a shark riding a Roomba

Unless you’re dead inside or something.

Even Forbes has discussed shark-cat, albeit in a way that makes me suspect the writer’s grandkids taught him how to use the internet so he could write the article.

Just give in to the power of shark-cat.

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An Open Apology to Buffy Summers

Via sunnydale-scoobies.tumblr.com

Via sunnydale-scoobies.tumblr.com

Dear Buffy:

First of all, may I call you Buffy? I didn’t mean to be presumptuous. Anyway, I know you’re busy being a fictional television character who has been off the air for over ten years, but I had sort of an epiphany. It made me realize that I owe you an apology for criticisms that I made of your show, especially the first three seasons.

I’ll be honest: I didn’t really start enjoying your show until about mid-way through the fourth season. That’s the point when the show took on a “darker” tone. It became more about exploring the characters and their motivation, and less about vampires and demons as metaphors for high school angst.

I had a hard time relating to your character during those first three seasons, which might be called the “high school seasons,” if you were so inclined. Oh, you’re not so inclined? Okay, seasons 1-3 it is, then. Anyway, the main reason I had a hard time relating, and it seems awful now that I say it out loud, was all the crying.

Seriously, it seemed like you cried at least once per episode. You probably didn’t, but I’m not going to go back and check right now. My thoughts, when watching those seasons at a younger age, was to wonder why you cried so dang much. I mean, you’re the Slayer!!! You’re stronger than that, right? Continue reading

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House Cats, Obligate Carnivores

Australian vegans allegedly nearly killed a kitten by feeding it a vegan diet, as shown in a picture of a newspaper clipping that has been going around on Facebook. Cats are essentially obligate carnivores, meaning that they have to have meat in their diets. Dogs can live, at least in theory, on a meat-free diet, but it’s still pretty damn cruel to the dog. If you are one to eschew all meat products in your home, you might seriously consider sticking to rabbits or llamas as pets, or just not having pets at all.

Anyway, I made a GIF set to express my thoughts on the matter:

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There Might Be Beaver Exudate in Your Yogurt

By Steve from washington, dc, usa (American Beaver) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Via Wikimedia Commons

You’ve probably never heard of castoreum, which Wikipedia defines as:

the exudate from the castor sacs of the mature North American Beaver (Castor canadensis) and the European Beaver (Castor fiber). Within the zoological realm, castoreum is the yellowish secretion of the castor sac in combination with the beaver’s urine, used during scent marking of territory. Both male and female beavers possess a pair of castor sacs and a pair of anal glands located in two cavities under the skin between the pelvis and the base of the tail.

Why do I mention this? Well, according to the natural-products company Conscious Box, castoreum is commonly used as a food flavoring. Continue reading

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Perhaps the Most Useful GIF Ever

I’m a huge Metalocalypse fan anyway, and this may be the show’s greatest scene. Besides that, this could be useful in many Internet discussions.

tumblr_mr8vvqqZjc1qfssjvo1_500

Via lady-of-the-wasteland.tumblr.com

Via lady-of-the-wasteland.tumblr.com.

I’ve been pondering (since I brought up the subject) whether “douchebag” is too sexist to be effective in any way. I really have no idea, and at least some opinion is split on the matter. A couple of good discussions are here and here, including an exploration of why the  concept of douching itself is more sexist than the term “douchebag.”

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