This has been around a while, but the Asylum Street Spankers still say it better than most:
Stick that magnetic ribbon
Reply
Monthly Archives: August 2007
My Simpsons doppelganger
Thanks to the shameless commercialism of the Simpsons, I now know what I would look like in the Simpsons universe:
Try it, if you dare.
A shallow quiz to determine your religion!
As I suspected, according to the Belief-O-Matic quiz, I am 100% Unitarian-Universalist, 96% Secular Humanist, 85% Liberal Quaker (?), and 79% Neo-Pagan (and I don’t even own any cloaks!). Going all the way down the list, I am 13% Jehovah’s Witness. I think these percentages refers to the number of beliefs I share with these particular schools of thought. I try to take the quiz every so often, to see if my total score changes over time. At some point a few years ago I scored higher as a Neo-Pagan than a UU, but I’ve been consistently UU most of the time. I’m only 66% “Nontheist“–not sure what that means. I’m not changing the name of the blog.
We are very very very very small…
Some more food for thought from this guy’s report from YearlyKos:
[P]hysicist Sean Carroll of Caltech and Cosmic Variance addressed a vastly different subject that, nevertheless, led him back to a similar theme. Sean’s talk was about, well, the nature of the universe. Mystery solved: It turns out that it’s roughly 5% stuff like us, 25% “dark matter,” and 70% “dark energy.” Or as Sean joked: “The good news is that we understand a lot about the universe. The bad news is that it makes no sense.”
But even as Sean gave us a complete and highly entertaining tour of reality, he hit on a much broader theme. The latest research in cosmology suggests that the universe is friggin weird. Indeed, there’s probably no bigger blow to the human ego than the fact that because it is of an incomprehensible “dark” nature, “most of the universe can’t even be bothered to interact with you,” as Sean put it. Nevertheless, he concluded that there’s something deeply uplifting about a way of thinking that allowed us to not only uncover but embrace this jaw-dropper of an inconvenient truth — something that we would never have expected to find, but that becomes inescapable once you survey all the evidence. And by the same token, Sean pointed out that there’s something rather shallow and small about an outlook that can’t be bothered to confront facts of this unsettling nature.
One problem I always had with my religious upbringing and much of religious thought nowadays (and I know this does not apply to everyone) is the way it encourages complacency–God/Jesus/Etc. loves you, and that is all you need to know. If there is a God(s), He has been incredibly busy, and there is much more of his creation to be admired than we could possibly imagine. It at least puts sporting events into their much broader persepctive.
A new low in creepiness
A Republican Florida state legislator apparently offered oral sex to a large black man in a public park bathroom because he was scared of him and figured that would make him go away. Also, he was only in the bathroom to get out of some bad weather (why he was on foot in a park is not directly explained.) Jill at Brilliant at Breakfast has the money quote:
Scared of black men. Scared of the weather. Scared of their own shadows. That’s your tough-guy Republican party for you.
Save the environment–throw a water balloon!
I purchased some provisions at my neighborhood Target the other day, and something stuck in my mind. There is generally no “paper or plastic” option at Target, so I went with plastic. I noticed the following ambiguously helpful list on the side of the bag:
10 WAYS TO REUSE YOUR TARGET BAG
1. Tiny Trashcan Liner
2. Doggy Duty
3. Water Balloon
4. Roadtrip Rubbish
5. Soggy Laundry
6. Ice Pack for Head Lump
7. Toiletry Tote
8. Kitty Litter Liner
9. Tomorrow’s Lunchbag
10. Care Package Padding
Some of these are very good suggestions, while some are a bit odd.
1. Tiny Trashcan Liner – True, it beats buying brand new trashbags. I use shopping bags for my bathroom trash can, so I have the peace of mind that my dirty Kleenex will be safe in a polyethylene cocoon for a long, long time.
2. Doggy Duty – What’s up with the alliteration? Still, I can think of no better place to dispose of my dog’s disgusting daily dookie.
3. Water Balloon – WTF? First off, how? Second, why? Third, how does this help anything???
4. Roadtrip Rubbish – Nice alliteration. See #1 above.
5. Soggy Laundry – Is this to lock in the moisture, or to create a strain of super-intelligent mildew?
6. Ice Pack for Head Lump – Actually, this is a good idea, unless you turn around and use the melted ice as a water ballon.
7. Toiletry Tote – Huh?
8. Kitty Litter Liner – I have a better idea: put some litter in the bag, then put the cat in. Leave a hole when you tie the bag off, so the cat can breathe, then you have the problems of cat waste and shedding all contained in a single bag!
9. Tomorrow’s Lunchbag – I shouldn’t have to note that you should not use this option if you have already used the bag for item #8.
10. Care Package Padding – Uh, have you ever actually held one of these bags? They’re not exactly generous in the mass department. You would need a hell of a lot of them to pad anything at all valuable and/or breakable. Having that many of them would somewhat obviate the benefit of re-using them. Besides, then you’d be depriving your recipient the joy of perusing your local newspaper or playing with your bubble wrap, and that would be cruel.
In conclusion, readers, do your part to save the environment by finding the most alliterate use for your old plastic shopping bags. Happy hunting.
Dear Iraq insurgents…
…when can America expect a thank-you note for our largesse?
The US military cannot account for 190,000 AK-47 assault rifles and pistols given to the Iraqi security forces, an official US report says.
The Government Accountability Office (GAO) says the Pentagon cannot track about 30% of the weapons distributed in Iraq over the past three years.
The Pentagon did not dispute the figures, but said it was reviewing arms deliveries procedures.
About $19.2bn has been spent by the US since 2003 on Iraqi security forces.
GAO, the investigative arm of the US Congress, said at least $2.8bn of this money was used to buy and deliver weapons and other equipment.
Correspondents say it is now feared many of the weapons are being used against US forces on the ground in Iraq.
I’m sure these 190,000 weapons were not intended as a gift, but you should still at least say thank you or send us some cookies.
Oh, and also, please stop killing people. I know, I know, we’re doing it too, but two wrongs hardly make a right, do they?
The Wisdom of Doubt
Lots of fun at Makem’s wake
I only just heard about the passing of Tommy Makem, the great Irish folk signer, via Jesus’ General, and I am enjoying the playlist he created in Mr. Makem’s honor. You may also enjoy my playlist, which is still something of a work-in-progress:
Bridge blues
I was horrified and saddened to learn about the bridge collapse in Minnesota. This is actually the same highway I drive on several times a week, except it’s about 1,500 miles south of where the collapse occurred. While the collapse of one bridge does not automatically mean other bridges are in danger, this is as good a time as any to look at bridge safety overall. The picture is not pretty–according to Burnt Orange Report (using Federal Highway Authority reports), 193 bridges were rated as “structurally deficient” by the Department of Transportation in 2006. I’ve had a hard time making it through the 33-page report, so I don’t know if any of the six bridges I frequent made the list. I will eventually find out, but that’s not really the issue–all bridges should be routinely maintained and checked for safety standards. Tell your representatives.