This Week in WTF, July 10, 2015

(NOTE: I’m still catching up on my backlog, so some of these may not be especially timely.)

Det regnar män. Halleluja!: Sweden came up with a fun way to address Russia’s recent spate of “no homo” legislation that is totally not trying to throw us off of anything. Okay, look, Russia and Belarus have known each other a long time, but they’re just bros, okay? Can we drop this now?

Oh, anyway, Sweden is trolling Russian submarines (which, I should mention, are long, hard, and full of seamen):

The Swedish Peace and Arbitration Society (SPAS) is to deal with encroaching Russian submarines in Swedish waters with a device emitting anti-homophobia Morse code.

The device – officially titled The Singing Sailor Underwater Defence System, but nicknamed the “gay sailor” – is a “subsurface sonar system”, which sends out the message: “This way if you are gay” in an attempt to deter apparently homophobic Russians.

(h/t Marcus) Continue reading


American Music

I had considered posting a video of “God Bless the U.S.A.” in an ironic sense, because it is just so cheesy……but dammit, it’s like everything Beyoncé touches turns to awesome:

Anyway, here’s a bit more American music for you on this 4th of July: Continue reading


Athleticism and Stuff

For no particular reason, here are some impressive feats of athleticism posted on Imgur.

That would be weightlifter, gymnast, and cheerleader Mattie Rogers (via TommyTheCatIsMyName on Imgur).

Here’s an impressive one from the comment section involving cheerleaders: Continue reading


Pregnant Hands?

Here’s something a grown adult apparently said recently:

A Turkish televangelist has taken masturbation guilt to a whole new level that even puts the Catholic Church to shame.

Mücahid Cihad Han, a Muslim preacher, was fielding the questions of viewers on his television show this Sunday, when one distressed caller asked him about masturbation.

The caller said he that he keeps masturbating although he’s married, even doing the forbidden deed during the “Umrah,” which is the pilgrimage to Mecca performed by Muslims.

From the Hurriyet Daily News:

After repeating the question a few times, Han claimed that Islam strictly prohibits masturbation as a “haram” (forbidden) act. “Moreover, one hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, complaining against them to God over its rights,” he said, referring to what he claimed to be a saying of Prophet Muhammad.

[Emphasis added.]

Pregnant hands? I’m trying to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and ponder how that might even work, and, well, I’m going to get a bit crude here. Continue reading


A Lannister Always Spays His Pets (UPDATED)

All hail King Fluffykins, First of His Name, who sits on the Potassium Throne:

To send you off into the weekend with a smile! (especially fun for Game of Thrones fans!) From the creative mind of "Wallace the Mad King"!

Posted by The Healthy Voyager on Friday, May 8, 2015

(h/t Jason / Andy, via The Healthy Voyager)

UPDATE (05/12/2015): The video does not seem to be embedding, and I don’t know why.


No Forehead Tattoos, Please

I really don’t care that Jared Leto’s Joker looks more like a Juggalo than an insane criminal mastermind. I am trying very hard to resist the temptation to make negative comparisons to Heath Ledger’s interpretation of the character. I don’t even care that Leto looks more like a fan of the Joker—who got way too carried away at the tattoo shop—than like the actual Joker.

© DC Comics / Warner Bros., via Twitter / @DavidAyerMovies

© DC Comics / Warner Bros., via Twitter / @DavidAyerMovies

Any time I think a modern-day portrayal of the Joker is in any way ridiculous or unworthy of the character, I just remember that Cesar Romero’s Joker was once the only live-action screen portrayal of the Joker in existence. Continue reading


Banish Them to the Hellscape from Whence They Came

The Teletubbies have always been creepy, bordering on terrifying. It turns out their vibrant colors, which I always thought were doing their best to chip away at my sanity, were actually sparing us from even further horror:

Via RadioNOW 100.9 / Facebook

Via RadioNOW 100.9 / Facebook

(h/t Christie)

After someone observed that they look like they’re in a Joy Division video in this picture, someone else went and actually made a Joy Division video (h/t Sallie): Continue reading


This Week in WTF, April 3, 2015

– I’d hate to see what would happen if he got hold of her Eggo: A woman in Akron, Ohio was arrested for allegedly stabbing her boyfriend repeatedly, allegedly because he ate all of her salsa (h/t Paul).

Look, I get how important salsa can be, and I don’t want to get too high and mighty about my condiments……but see, I’m from San Antonio, and we take our salsa very seriously. I mean, like, extremely seriously. I would take the Pepsi challenge with Ohio salsa any day, and you know what’s great about Texas? There is always more salsa.

– If you’re just going to let your mouth hang open like that…: The pitcher plant, at least from a conceptual standpoint, might be the most terrifying organism to have ever existed. Yes, I’m including spiders and sharks in my analysis. Pitcher plants are at least as terrifying as winged devourers, except that they have the added factor of being real. They just sit there, waiting for something to land on them, or crawl up on them, just to slip and fall into the pitcher, where they are digested, pretty much in the open air.

Pitcher plants…grow[] long tube-shaped leaves into which insects fall. Some of the largest have pitchers up to a foot deep and can consume a whole frog or even a rat unlucky enough to fall into them. Sophisticated chemistry helps make the pitcher a death trap. Nepenthes rafflesiana, a pitcher plant that grows in jungles on Borneo, produces nectar that both lures insects and forms a slick surface on which they can’t get a grip. Insects that land on the rim of the pitcher hydroplane on the liquid and tumble in. The digestive fluid in which they fall has very different properties. Rather than being slippery, it’s gooey. If a fly tries to lift its leg up into the air to escape, the fluid holds on tenaciously, like a rubber band.

Pitcher plants are like tiny, real-life Sarlaccs, except that everyone can hear you scream.

Also, no tentacles……yet……

One species that lives on the island of Borneo, however, seems to have found another means of sustenance: as a bat toilet: Continue reading