This Week in WTF, June 28, 2013

Posted on June 28, 2013 by wellsdc

0funny-dog-pictures-wtf This was quite a week. Not much can top the shenanigans at the Texas Capitol, but here are a few WTFs to get your blood boiling anew.

– This headline says it all: “Bigoted Gun-Nuts Create Pork-Tipped Bullets to Send Muslims ‘To Hell.'” They allegedly sell ammo coated “with a special ballistic paint infused with pork to make it ‘Haraam’ or unclean to a radical Jihadist.” As AATP points out in their article, these idiots “don’t seem to understand that the penalty mentioned in the Qur’an is meant for those who voluntarily consume pork, not get shot with pig-infused paint covered bullets.”

– A woman in Georgia noticed that her birth certificate erroneously listed her gender as male. This proved to be a problem when she went to renew her driver’s license, at the age of 37, and was required to prove that she was, in fact, female. According to The Raw Story, the Georgia Department of Driver Services required her to undergo a pelvic exam and get a doctor’s note. Yes, a doctor’s note saying she’s a woman. The state’s Vital Record Service, who must have hired all the smart people, said that requiring the test violated protocol, and confirmed her gender (again) by checking her son’s birth certificate.

– Back in Texas, this shit happened:

We had terrorist in the Texas State Senate opposing SB 5

— Bill Zedler (@Bill_Zedler) June 26, 2013

That’s all I came up with this week. I was kinda busy.

Photo credit: Via bellaescritor.com.

This Week in WTF, June 21, 2013

Posted on June 21, 2013 by wellsdc

http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2013/06/19/193493225/the-love-that-dared-not-speak-its-name-of-a-beetle-for-a-beer-bottle?utm_source=npr&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=20130619

– I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but this snake can open doors.

– Jon Gosselin killed the Ed Hardy brand, according to Ed Hardy. I’m so glad we got that out of the way.

– Here’s a story that sounds like what might happen if the producers of the Saw series made a Lifetime Original Movie:

A teenage girl beheaded her father with a bush knife after he raped her at their home in Papua New Guinea, a report said Monday, with community leaders protecting her, saying the man deserved to die.

The Post-Courier newspaper said the 18-year-old chopped her father’s head clean off after he repeatedly raped her last Tuesday night in their village in the poverty-stricken Pacific nation’s Western Highlands.

The report cited a pastor as saying the father, in his mid-40s, had three other children and raped his daughter when they were alone in the house after the mother and the other siblings visited relatives.

Pastor Lucas Kumi said the man went to his daughter’s room in the night and raped her repeatedly.

“The father wanted to rape his daughter again in the morning inside the house and that was when the young girl picked up the bush knife and chopped her father’s head off,” he said.

Community leaders are now refusing to hand the girl over to police, vowing to protect her.

I can’t really add anything to that, and I’m sure as hell not going to snark about it.

This Week in WTF, June 14, 2013

Posted on June 14, 2013 by wellsdc

Zero Nerf Tolerance: A school in Edmonds, Washington suspended a group of students who brought Nerf guns to school, which is not all that surprising given schools’ “zero tolerance” policy for anything resembling childhood. What makes it interesting is that the Nerf guns were supposedly part of a school project, and that the kids claim they had their teacher’s permission to have them. Their parents are less than thrilled. In an unrelated incident, school officials in Maryland caught a kindergarten student with a cap gun. Again, zero tolerance blah blah blah, but they allegedly held him for questioning for two hours without calling anybody, and frightened the child to the point that he wet himself. That’ll teach him to trust school administrators! (Maybe that wasn’t the lesson they intended…)

I could conceivably see some trademark issues here… (© @KUboobs/Twitter)

Branded in Kansas: If you want to highlight the cleavage of a major Midwestern university’s coeds, be sure not to use the school’s logo or name in a commercial way. That seems to be the trouble with @KUboobs, a Twitter page that posts “boob selfies” featuring cleavage under University of Kansas t-shirts:

The trend began after University of Kansas student Tiffany Kent tweeted a photo of her breasts in a Jayhawks shirt with the hashtag #kuboobs in the hope of boosting support for her struggling college basketball team during a game in February last year.

The move proved to be a successful one, inspiring a sensational turnaround for the Jayhawks, from a 19-point deficit to a one-point-lead over the Missouri Tigers by the end of the game.

The trend has since gone nationwide too, with over 30 spin-off ‘boobs’ Twitter accounts dedicated to cleavage-led support for other colleges, such as @UF_Boobs, @bamaboobs, @arboobs and @vandyboobs.

The page has over 62,000 followers, but the university sent a cease and desist letter objecting to the sale of unauthorized merchandise bearing KU and Jayhawk brands. This led to a campaign to save the page, which uses the hashtag #saveKUboobs. The school’s athletic director emphasized that they were not trying to shut down the Twitter page, but rather to stop the sale of trademark-infringing merchandise.

Lest you think that @KUboobs is just about boobs, they engage in charitable activities involving boobs as well:

KU won’t allow us to sell wristbands to benefit Making Strides Against Breast Cancer, but donations can be made here: main.acsevents.org/goto/kuboobs

— KU Boobs (@KUboobs) June 12, 2013

The Pirates of Cornwall: Senegalese authorities arrested two Cornish men who converted a yacht into a warship, sort of, and then took it from a Spanish impound in the Canary Islands. Because this story would be very boring without the words “marine commandos,” Continue reading →

This Week in WTF, June 7, 2013

Posted on June 7, 2013 by wellsdc

3556826420_d006ae707e_o I return to my hallowed tradition of collecting oddities for the enjoyment of my reader(s). These are sort of some “greatest hits” collected over the past few months, but “This Past Six Months in WTF” doesn’t sound as good as “This Week…” Just go with it.

– The female southern bottletail squid was the topic of some discussion this week after io9 revealed that she, uh………swallows.

– A Chinese real estate company came up with a novel way to sell properties, by painting the floor plans on the backs of women in bikinis. Apparently, it’s working (h/t Sallie).

Via bitrebels.com

– A Ukrainian woman sought political asylum in the European Union because of persecution due to her participation in the adult film industry. To be clear, the woman, who performed under the name Wiska, claimed that the government was persecuting her because of her involvement, which she contends was based on economic need, not direct coercion. She faced criminal charges in Ukraine and possible loss of her children. The Czech Republic denied her asylum application, but she announced that she intended to appeal. The protest group Femen, which consists of topless Ukrainian women, is supporting her.

– A county employee in Dallas offered perhaps the best excuse in the history of the universe for being late to work: Continue reading →

This Week in WTF, November 9, 2012

Posted on November 9, 2012 by wellsdc

We had an election this week (you might have noticed.) Supporters of the guy who didn’t win got a bit, um, unhinged. My only real challenge was narrowing down the WTF to a few choice examples. Finding a winner was not so hard, though.

First, some words for Republicans threatening to move to Canada, via Americans Against the Tea Party:

Yes, a Galtian wonderland Canada is not.

The Grand Prize, though, goes to teenage Kristen Neel, who may have encountered this week’s sharpest learning curve with her stated desire to move to Australia (via the Global Secular Humanist Movement):

No media establishment, it would seem, was more amused by this than the Australian media. Neel’s folly appeared in The Age and the Courier-Mail.

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard, who has held that office since June 24, 2010, sounds like quite the bad-ass. She certainly has neither time nor patience for the more sexist elements of the government.

I hope Ms. Neal has learned something from this little kerfuffle. Two lessons that spring to mind:

1. Australia is a more complicated place than you might think. Plus, it is full of creatures that are eager to kill you.

2. The internet sur does have a way of magnifying our little goofs, doesn’t it?

This Week in WTF, October 26, 2012

Posted on October 26, 2012 by wellsdc

To the Beemobile!

– Bees in northeastern France have been producing honey in odd shades of blue and green lately. This stumped the beeologists at first (auto-correct really wanted to change that made-up word to “biologists,” but I showed it who’s boss!!!)

On the hunt for answers (which is what scientists do, and it’s awesome), they discovered a biogas plant about two-and-a-half miles upstream that processes waste from a plant operated by the candy company Mars about 62 miles away. Among the products made at the Mars plant are M&Ms, including the blue and green varieties. Coincidence? Mars isn’t commenting, so I’m going to speculate that it is not coincidence, but rather conspiracy!!! Of course, I can’t back that up with anything.

“I wore a five pound beard of bees for that woman.”

– From Australia, we have the Babes & Boars calendar, which contains, not surprisingly, pictures of babes with the boars they presumably just bagged. This is part of a publication by Sporting Shooter magazine known as Bacon Busters. I’m still trying to confirm if this is satire or not.

If you like pictures of babes and are indifferent to the presence of dead boars, this may be a good publication for you. If you like pictures of dead boars, please reevaluate the course of your life so far.

– Doctors saved a toddler’s life by performing a Fecal Microbiota Transplantation with the child’s mother as the donor. It’s a very touching story, if you can get past the fact that Mom donated poo to her son.

– Sometimes an awesome Halloween costume crosses paths with a profoundly mistaken individual, and tragedy results. A man in western Pennsylvania who, police say, was not drunk somehow, decided to shoot at a skunk with a shotgun. Upon hitting the stinky passerby, he learned that it was not actually a skunk, but a nine year-old girl in a skunk costume. Also, the two are related somehow. The girl was flown to a Pittsburgh hospital and was reportedly doing well. Police aren’t sure what to do with the guy. Until that gets sorted out, I guess kudos are due to whomever made the costume, because it was obviously good enough to fool a totally-not-drunk guy. Seriously, though, I hope the kid is okay.

Photo credits: “To the Beemobile!” via evergreenterrace.com.au; “I wore a five pound beard of bees for that woman,” via mmmsimpsons.tumblr.com.

This Week in WTF, October 19, 2012

Posted on October 19, 2012 by wellsdc

800px-Sundlaug_Stykkishólms_water_slide_top This is from more than a year ago, but it is worth it just for the headline:

Couple Busted for Sex in Aquatic Park
Witnesses ‘Disturbed,’ Pool Water Recycled

Need I say more?

Photo credit: “Sundlaug Stykkishólms water slide top” By BiT (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

This Week in WTF, October 12, 2012

Posted on October 12, 2012 by wellsdc

320px-Soviet_War_Memorial_Northwest_view_1 – Last week, I mentioned a college student who got near-fatal alcohol poisoning from pouring cheap wine up his butt. This week, I learned about a teenager in England who had to have part of her stomach removed after drinking a concoction containing Jaegermeister and liquid nitrogen (you read that right.) My assumption was that this was some sort of dare gone horribly wrong or even an assault, but I might have been wrong to think that. Apparently, putting liquid nitrogen in high-end cocktails is the new hot thing. I am so happy to be vanilla and boring right now.

– One thing you can say for certain about the nations of the former Soviet Union is that they love their World War II memorials. So much so, that it’s probably best not to mess with them too much.

KIEV (Reuters) – A Ukrainian court has handed down a suspended three-year prison sentence to a student who fried eggs over the eternal flame at a World War Two memorial to protest against government policies.

Hanna Sinkova was found guilty of desecrating The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Kiev.

Sinkova, 21, a member of radical youth movement called The Brotherhood of St. Lucas, said her actions were meant to draw attention to the plight of impoverished war veterans.

– A man in Pennsylvania is suing a strip club for……just read it:

A lawsuit filed last week says that in late November 2010 [redacted], a resident of Lansdale, Pa., had been invited to lie on the stage at the Penthouse Club in Port Richmond, Pa., as part of its “Bachelor’s Package.”

That’s when one dancer shimmied up the pole, and “from a great height, she launched herself down onto his abdomen” with such force that she ruptured his bladder, [redacted]’s attorney [also redacted] told the Philadelphia Daily News.

The suit said the move resulted in severe pain for [redacted] that did not subside by the next morning. He went to the emergency room, and doctors discovered he had internal bleeding and a ruptured bladder that required surgery to correct.

[Also redacted] said that [redacted] also suffered nerve damage in his back and hip, the Daily News reported.

The lawsuit accuses the club of negligence and seeks at least $50,000 for medical costs, pain, humiliation and mental anguish.

Keep in mind that we are not talking about [redacted]’s testicles here. That would be too obvious. This is his bladder, which, as far as I know, he keeps on the inside.

Photo credit: “Soviet War Memorial Northwest view 1” by Zael (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons.

Today’s Bonus WTF, October 5, 2012

Posted on October 5, 2012 by wellsdc

This probably won’t be a weekly thing, but sometimes some WTF flies under the radar until the last minute, but needs to be shared.

We’re all familiar with Edvard Munch’s The Scream, yes? Very famous, and very haunting, painting. Prepare to be even more haunted:

This Week in WTF, September 28, 2012

Posted on September 28, 2012 by wellsdc

1379848_78696087 – U.S. Customs and Border Patrol (CBP) is investigating a report that someone used one of their helicopters to facilitate a rather elaborate process of asking a girl to a dance:

While on a routine mission over northern Virginia last Wednesday, a CBP helicopter was allegedly used by a Department of Homeland Security employee to fly over his son’s high school and drop a stuffed animal with the invitation, NBCWashington.com reported.

Students, who were just being released from classes for the day, watched excitedly as the helicopter hovered close to the football field and dropped a stuffed bulldog with a red bandanna parachute to the ground. Then students said they saw the junior boy, carrying pink roses, walking toward the senior girl and leading her to the football field to collect the stuffed animal, which delivered the message, “Fall Fest?,” The Washington Post reported.

Guys, if you can, contact your father right now and demand to know why he was never willing to risk the wrath of the federal government to help you get the girl.

Seriously, though, while that may be a government agent fail, that is a parenting win.

– Bank of America may have unlawfully withdrawn funds from the bank accounts of up to 15,000 child entertainers, according to a lawsuit filed by a group of child actors. The funds are supposed to be in blocked trust accounts, and unauthorized withdrawals would violate the Coogan Law, which was passed in 1939 to protect child entertainers’ earnings from unscrupulous parents. Seriously, Bank of America, think of the children.

– That’s all I got. Slow week, I guess.

Photo credit: “Speed Trap” by skate49 on stock.xchng.

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