More on Santa’s Supposed Race

Black Santa and Presents by soulchristmas [CC BY 2.0], via Flickr

Via Flickr

Remember how that Fox News lady assured kids that Santa is white? This is worse, I’d say:

A suburban Albuquerque teacher who told a black student that Santa Claus is white has been placed on paid administrative leave.

Rio Rancho school district spokeswoman Kim Vesely confirmed on Tuesday that the teacher is out of the classroom while the incident is being investigated.

The teacher’s comments came after students at Cleveland High School were told they could come to class dressed as Santa, an elf or a reindeer.

Michael Rougier says when his ninth-grade son, Christopher, arrived with a Santa hat and beard, the teacher asked, “Don’t you know Santa Claus is white? Why are you wearing that?”

The incident happened the same week that Fox News Channel’s Megyn Kelly said both Santa Claus and Jesus were white.

It’s one thing to shout “Santa is white” into the void on a TV show few people really think is “news” anymore. It’s something else entirely to say it to a kid standing right in front of you and dressed as Santa. WTH, people?

Photo credit: Black Santa and Presents by soulchristmas [CC BY 2.0], via Flickr.

Share

Let’s See if 42% of Republicans Understand the Meaning of the Word “Verify”

Via Talking Points Memo:

Forty two percent of Republicans believe Santa Claus is not just white but “verifiably white,” while 23 percent said he is not, according to the poll. Only 24 percent of Democrats, on the other hand, said he was “verifiably white” while 48 percent said he is not.

I have two thoughts on this.

First, I guess there is some truth to the notion that “both sides do it,” at least when applied to naïve stupidity. Republicans are still much better at it.

Second, I urge those 42% of Republicans (and the 24% of a Democrats because why not?) to put their money where their mouths are and verify that Santa is white.

I don’t care if you have to travel by one of those icebreaker ships, a dogsled, or on the back of a polar bear somehow, but get your asses to the North Pole and show us the Claus.

Seriously, pics or GTFO.

Share

Doctor Santa

The following comment (on Ragen’s post) may explain everything about Santa Claus, including the asinine Fox News racial dispute:

20131213-074821.jpg

Considering Santa’s not real, he can be whatever the hell race we want him to be. I personally believe Santa’s a Time Lord, and his sleigh is really a TARDIS. How else could he possibly deliver all those presents in one one night without a little wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff?

I covered up the identifying info, but the commenter is welcome to claim credit if they want—or I’ll give credit upon request. I’m pretty flexible and occasionally a pushover 🙂

Share

Here’s How to Get Fox News to Switch Sides in the War on Christmas

At present, Canada, Russia, and Denmark are sort of engaged in a dispute over who actually has territorial sovereignty over the North Pole.

Fox News may have assured us that Santa Claus is white (sarcastic whew!), but they’re clearly missing the larger point here: no matter which way you slice it, Santa Claus is not American.

Denmark may have delicious breakfast pastries, but we all know that they are a bunch of socialists whose policies would mildly inconvenience those in America’s highest income brackets—in today’s political environment, that is of course synonymous with evil.

If Santa is Russian, that means we were allowing a Soviet agent unfettered access to U.S. airspace for decades. Someone should impeach Obama for that.

If Santa turns out to be Canadian? Well, Canada ain’t America, is it?

Is Santa Claus getting a visa every year to come into the U.S.? I could do a FOIA request to find out, but instead I’m just going to declare that he isn’t because freedom.

Fox News needs to get on the case of this taker who’s coming to this country illegally in order to give handouts to people who can’t even be bothered to work full-time jobs.

Share