This Week in WTF, June 20, 2014

– No, I wanted a literal sausage fest…: A grocery store right here in Austin might have accidentally sold beef penis to several customers. And there’s already a lawsuit. And it gets weirder:

The beef penis in the lawsuit is more specifically referring to a cut of meat known as “pizzle,” which, according to Wikipedia, is essentially a bull’s penis that is used for chewing toys for animals–not so much for July 4 barbecues.

Yup, your dog might be chewing on bull c*ck right this second!!!

– Not cool, dude: Speaking of penises, some guy is using Tinder to send women Game of Thrones spoilers. Wait, that’s not about penises at all……I guess I didn’t realize Tinder had other uses besides transmission of dick pics.

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What I’m Reading, June 6, 2014

Tribal leader turns down thrilling chance to support the Washington Redskins, Robyn Pennacchia, Death and Taxes, May 30, 2014

It’s almost sad that someone in their PR department sincerely thought that they were going to get a tribal leader to drop everything he was doing and just jet off to Washington to pat Dan Snyder on the head and tell him it’s cool for him to use a racial slur. I mean, I guess you’re supposed to try everything, but you’d have to be a complete idiot to think that was going to happen. What’s next? Are they just going to start dialing up random Native Americans and trying to get them to hang out with Dan Snyder and say he’s an OK guy?

Game of Thrones, Sex and HBO: Where Did TV’s Sexual Pioneer Go Wrong? Bethany Jones, Jezebel, June 5, 2014 Continue reading

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What I’m Reading, May 14, 2014

Tribal gatekeepers officially enshrine Phelpsian bigotry as ‘evangelical’ and ‘Too Christian’, Fred Clark, Slacktivist, May 9, 2014

Why do right-wing extremist partisans like Jack Burkman think that they’re entitled to act as the designated spokespersons for all of Christianity? Because the gatekeepers of the white evangelical tribe have enabled and encouraged that delusion for decades now.

Burkman is a nasty piece of work whose vicious anti-gay beliefs have led him on a personal vendetta to try to destroy the career of an individual whose teammates, coaches and opponents from his years at Missouri all insist is a terrific guy. Burkman’s is the kind of unvarnished hate and bigotry that makes most public figures — politicians, TV networks, businesses — keep their distance lest the public assume they share such views.

But there’s one place where someone like Burkman will always find support. There’s one place where no amount of hateful resentment will ever cause one to be ostracized and regarded as too extreme. That’s in the white evangelical tribe. Continue reading

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What I’m Reading, April 23, 2014

David Jackmanson [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/)], via FlickrApparently, We Need To Remind People That Pro-Choice Women Are Allowed To Have Babies, Samantha Lachman, Huffington Post, April 17, 2014

Chelsea Clinton is pregnant, and some anti-abortion activists responded to the news Thursday by showing they don’t understand what being “pro-choice” means: being able to choose to have a baby, or not.

White Supremacist’s Genocidal Paranoia: Inside the Mind of the White Man March Founder, Toby McCasker, AlterNet, April 19, 2014

Masked ethnic nationalism had been enjoying a nice stay as a dot-point in the “dark enlightenment” of the so-called neo-reactionary movement, but bigotry is never content to be itemized. Say hi to nuwe racism, and the composite ire-ony of using the Afrikaans for “new” here seems so complexly black and white as to transcend meta. Hyper-aware there is less and less room on earth for old hate, nuwe racists dress their prejudice in conspiracy and pseudoscience and call it “pride.” Pride is a much more appealing sin than wrath, and allows them to, heinously, plead victimhood just as they pursue a policy of victimization. It is like punching someone and getting angry at them for hurting your fist.

Continue reading

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Joffrey, the Out-of-Context Motivational Speaker

Context truly is everything. (Spoilers, should you explore this any further.)

Out-of-context Motivational Joffrey

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Westerosi Geology (or, Someone Else Is a Bigger Game of Thrones Geek Than You)

Gabridelca [GFDL or CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

This isn’t really the Vale of Arryn, but it plays it on TV.

At times, I feel like I have a better handle on the history of Westeros and Essos (which I obviously need to follow the Game of Thrones storyline), than the history of our actually-existing world. It never even occurred to me, though, to wonder if the Narrow Sea is a geologically-recent development, resulting from the separation of the two continents about 25 million years ago.

A group of (mostly) Stanford geologists, however, have been wondering about that, and their ideas are collecting in the form of a geological history of Westeros at their blog, Generation Anthropocene.

I have been out-geeked, and I yield.

Photo credit: Gabridelca [GFDL or CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons.

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This Week in WTF, April 11, 2014

– As Smooth as a Spring Evening in Highgarden: Okay, I have no idea what could legitimately be called “smooth” in Westeros. Anyway, here’s the Game of Thrones theme played as smooth jazz:

– Heh heh. “Wood.”: A woman who found a tree stump carved into the shape of a phallus in her neighborhood did what any responsible citizen would do—she called the police (h/t Bob). No word on whether they had to use force against the tree stump.

– It’s for a good cause: I realize that charitable causes can have a difficult time raising awareness, but this is (hopefully) the first time anyone has thought of Tasering a woman in a bikini, and charging people to watch.

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A History of Westeros in Pictures

Imgur user thrillfight put together this history of Westeros (from George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire and HBO’s series Game of Thrones, in case you live beyond the Wall or something) from the days of the Children of the Forest to Aegon’s Conquest, with the possibility of more to follow (h/t Nick):

See also this history of Aegon’s Conquest.

Less than two weeks until season 4.

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What I’m Reading, March 20, 2014

A Brief History of Mold-A-Rama, Rob Lammie, Mental Floss, March 18, 2014

Long before 3D printing was a thing, kids of all ages were plunking quarters into Mold-A-Rama vending machines to get plastic sculptures made right before their eyes. Let’s take a look back at the history of these mid-century manufacturing marvels.

GOP Plutocrat Ken Langone And New Dem Wall Street Shill Jim Himes Are Waging Class War Against American Families, Down With Tyranny!, March 18, 2014

Langone’s siren song, while extreme and filled with the class warfare hatred the entitled rich feel towards working families, isn’t just a Republican song. When it comes to serving the interests of great wealth, conservative Democrats– particularly Blue Dogs and New Dems– are no better than garden variety Republicans.

Two Reasons That Explain Why We’re All Obsessed with Game of Thrones, Charlie Jane Anders, io9, March 18, 2014

Why is Game of Thrones such a huge cultural phenomenon, among all other fantasy series? It comes down to two huge cultural trends, that are rooted in our widespread anxieties about life in the 21st century.

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Game of Thrones captures the real anxiety at the root of our apocalyptic fascination — the sense that disaster is coming closer at an almost imperceptible rate, and we can never really know when it will arrive. We all sense that our unsustainable economic system will collapse, and/or our biosphere will no longer support so many humans, but we don’t know if the crunch will come next week or in 50 years.

And the endless wars and scheming show how short-sighted people can overlook a looming disaster, due to political infighting and stupidity. You wonder why they don’t look over their shoulder and see the ice zombies creeping closer — until you realize that their denial is nothing compared to our own.

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When we’re not consuming futuristic dystopias and world-breaking disasters, we’re obsessing about a somewhat idealized past in which men were men and women were women, and everybody Knew Their Place. Often, these visions of the past include a soupcon of social change, a hint that the Times They Were a-Changin’, and the seeds of today’s world were already in place.

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Game of Thrones is like the perfect idealized-but-awful past. Especially in the television version, everybody looks beautiful and has perfect teeth, but almost everybody takes a turn of being that peasant in Monty Python and the Holy Grail who shouts, “I’m being oppressed!”

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Vindicated by Grumpy Cat, Sort Of

I have long been a fan of Grumpy Cat (née Tardar Sauce), and while she may be wearing thin as a meme, she can still draw a crowd.

My online petition asking HBO to cast Grumpy Cat in the role of Lady Whiskers in season 4 of Game of Thrones was a bust. Since last August, it has only gained three supporters (and that might include me). Besides that, season 4 starts in a few weeks.

Still, I feel vindicated, as a moment of glorious brand synergy occurred last week during SXSW, when Grumpy Cat sat upon the Iron Throne and, to quote one reporter, “obviously hated it.”

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She even got her own dragons, meaning she’s ahead of Daenerys Targaryen, Iron-Throne-sitting-wise: Continue reading

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