Big Ole Butt

The owner of Instagram superstar Jen Selter’s butt, whose name is Jen Selter, now has a fitness column in the New York Post. This does not affect my life in any way, except to cause mild amusement. I mean, good for her, but the usefulness of her fitness advice to others remains dubious, as a summary of her column about helping her mom get in shape seems to indicate (no, I didn’t read the original column):

According to Selter, her physique has nothing to do with genetics. Conveniently, this quote is placed very close to an image of Jen Selter standing next to her mother, who looks a lot like an older Jen Selter because that’s how genetics work — your parents hand you a set of traits that can manifest in different ways depending on an extent to personal choices and environment, and you kind of have to play the hand you’re dealt. Nothing. To. Do. With. Genetics. Continue reading

Share

Monday Morning Cute: Puppy Love

A baby elephant is called a “calf,” which is neither distinctive nor particularly cute, so I just went with “puppy” instead. Anyway, here are two baby elephants holding trunks:

I know what you’re thinking: it reminds you of this, right?

Share

Nature’s Way of Saying Step Off

Some day, they’ll be able to do this out of water, and we’ll have to answer for all that calamari and tako.

Share

What I’m Reading, April 25, 2014

By Robin klein (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsPut Your Money Where Your Mouth Is, evolved beyond the fist mistermix, Balloon Juice, April 19, 2014

The Will/Krauthammer justification for unlimited campaign contributions is that it is free speech protected by the Constitution, and it’s just a happy coincidence that the political party they back has more money to spend on political donations. Now that they’ve installed a Supreme Court that agrees with them, they’re trying to turn the reasonable consequences of free speech into some form of persecution.

Hellraiser vs. The Hellbound Heart, Mark Pellegrini, Adventures in Poor Taste, October 12, 2012

Personally, I prefer Hellraiser over The Hellbound Heart just as I prefer Candyman over The Forbidden; I found it took all the elements I enjoyed from the story and improved upon them. However, there were a couple of items from the book which I either liked better or thought added a bit more to the story. In the book, when Frank summons the Cenobites, they make him feel every orgasm he’s ever had in his entire life all at once before tearing him to pieces (as opposed to the movie, where they just eviscerate Frank as soon as they arrive). This was important to the plot in that the spillage of Frank’s semen acted as a catalyst to his resurrection when Raury/Larry spilled his blood in the attic. Additionally, this version better represented the “pleasure and pain unified” concept which the Cenobites are supposed to embody. I suppose the only other detail from the book which I wish had made it into the film is what happened after Kirsty made her deal with the Cenobites. In the book, they give her a time limit and as each minute passes she can feel an invisible “noose” squeeze tighter around her neck. This added a bit of suspense to the climax, as Kirsty struggles to get Frank to verbally admit to his escape from Hell.

Technically, this is from “Hellraiser 2,” but shut up.

Continue reading

Share

Monday Morning Cute: Dance!!!

To the window! To the wall!” says the sea turtle.

To the window! To the wall!

I don’t know what the hell this is, but I respect its need to dance:

Share

The Greatest Star Wars GIF You Will Ever See

This masterpiece comes to us via MrTidbits. It appeared almost a year ago via khaos324, on Geeks of Doom, and I’m sure elsewhere. It originated, it would appear, as a video from 1A4STUDIO, may their name resonate through all eternity.

Also, no littering.

A New Hope

Share

This Week in WTF, April 18, 2014

Via beautifullivingdolls.tumblr.com

Via beautifullivingdolls.tumblr.com, a blog that actually exists.

– Maybe not such a good role model: Valeria Lukyanova, the Ukrainian model who has transformed herself into a life-sized Barbie doll, has made some pretty out-there statements about how she hopes to one day be able to live as a “breatharian,” meaning that she subsists solely on air and sunlight. Good luck with that.

Anyway, it turns out that, without makeup, she still looks a lot like a Barbie doll.

Also, she seems to be pretty racist, which might not be that surprising for someone who wants to be the exemplar of white blondeness. She also said she hates kids.

– The headline says it all: Rich People Call Cops On Statue Of Homeless Jesus.

– They messed with the wrong squirrel: Seriously, man, squirrels will mess your sh!t up. Especially in Indiana: Continue reading

Share