I’ve been quite neglectful in posting my weekly cuteness updates, so to get the ball rolling again, I present my dog, Zeta, panting in a sunbeam like a f—ing boss.
Monday Morning Cute: Cuteness Triumphant
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Tag Archives: animated gif
That was…..unexpected
The internet loves its plot twists (via bandersna7ch on Imgur).
And no, I have no idea what SpongeBob and Patrick are doing there.
Animated Extinctions
I saw this animation posted to Imgur by user Waffurur, showing the five biggest mass extinction events in Earth’s history (as far as we know, really):
Most people are familiar with the Cretacious-Tertiary mass extinction about 65 million years ago, which killed off the last of the dinosaurs. Well, except for birds, which are totally still dinosaurs.
Some people know about the Permian mass extinction, which left only about four percent of species alive. That’s also the one that finished off the trilobites, which is a bummer because they seem pretty cool.
!["Kainops invius lateral and ventral" by Moussa Direct Ltd. (Moussa Direct Ltd. image archive) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons](http://crypticphilosopher.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/688px-Kainops_invius_lateral_and_ventral.jpg "\"Kainops invius lateral and ventral\" by Moussa Direct Ltd. (Moussa Direct Ltd. image archive) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons")
On the other hand, it also brought an end to the eurypterids—a/k/a sea scorpions that reached eight feet or more in length (but were generally harmless)… Continue reading
Dear Hollywood: The Top Gun Sequel Must Include this Scene
After such a long, long, wait—during which time many of us didn’t even realize we were waiting for anything—it looks as though the Top Gun sequel might really be a thing, except maybe not. The latest news is that Val Kilmer is officially attached to the project, except that he’s not officially attached to the project. Maybe this is the vagaries of the movie biz, or maybe a bunch of old people are having some fun trolling the kiddos on the internet.
Regardless, I have a request/demand for whomever ultimately makes what is sure to do for Pete “Maverick” Mitchell what two recent sequels did for John McClane. (I find it unlikely that any Top Gun sequel would be as surprisingly good as another late franchise entry, 2006’s Rocky Balboa. At least there hasn’t been an Indiana Jones movie since 1989…..nope, no movies at all….)
Anyway, should a new Top Gun get made, I simply must insist that it include the following scene:
GDE Error: Error retrieving file - if necessary turn off error checking (404:Not Found)
Additionally, the following dialogue should take place at some point:
ICEMAN
What happened to you, Mitchell? You used to be dangerous.
MAVERICK
That’s right! Ice……man….. I was dangerous.
Via thatmomentin.com
Finally, for no particular reason, here’s a Top Gun demotivator:
Via imggood.com
The Sneak
Back in college, my time-management skills were about as terrible as they are today (although I didn’t have the benefit of an ADHD diagnosis back then, whatever that benefit might be.) I would occasionally find myself facing a due date for a paper—for which I had not even started preparing—that was, in the context of the time, “tomorrow.” This necessitated that time-honored college tradition, the “all-nighter.” I couldn’t tell you how many of those I pulled back in the day. (Left entirely to my own devices, I think I’d still be primarily nocturnal, but that’s a story for another day.)
Unlike many college-age kids, though, I was never very good at going without sleep altogether. Upon wrapping up my 5-to-7-page tome comparing and contrasting Henry Kissinger’s The White House Years to William Shawcross’ Sideshow: Kissinger, Nixon & the Destruction of Cambodia at around 4:00 a.m.*, I still felt the compelling need for sleep. I developed a technique I referred to as “the sneak” (mostly because I was too tired to think of a better name for it.) Continue reading
How to Market a Toilet-Related Product
I am simultaneously impressed and repulsed by the ad campaign for the “Squatty Potty,” a device that helps you, ahem, move more naturally (h/t Lynn).
How does one advertise a product aimed at bowel evacuation? It is difficult to go wrong with unicorns, but you don’t want to stray too far from your central message. The people behind the Squatty Potty decided to hearken back to the centuries-old urban legend about soft-serve ice cream actually being the poop of enchanted unicorns. (You might just want to stop reading here.) Continue reading
North Carolina
I’m taking a much-needed vacation for a few days.
That’s pretty much all I have to say about that, but here’s a useful reminder that it’s not cool to jump out and scare people:
All Bark…
This is a realistic depiction of most internet arguments:
And here we see the “live version” of that scene: Continue reading
FREEDOM!!!!!
FP edit. Last time i got nudes. Now show me your face. I dare you.
Just for the record, I have no idea what that “Last time i got nudes” thing is about. I just like the scene. (Don’t overlook the floppy tiger in the background!)
“Selfie from Hell”
You can watch the entire movie as an animated GIF below (it’s less than two minutes long), or you can watch it with actual sound on YouTube. It’s up to you.
Also, that’s not Carla Gallo. I checked.