A Date with an MRA

Posted on July 24, 2014 by wellsdc

Here’s a tale of a woman’s one (and only) date with a man who, she learned from verbal cues during conversation, appeared to be a rather strident men’s rights activist (MRA). The date started out okay, she says, but did not end well at all. Trigger warnings should abound.

Now, I’m sure not all MRA’s are like the doucherocket described by this woman (more on that below), but the level of sexual entitlement on display in this account (“He tried repeatedly to get me into his car…He said that I was untrained. He said that I owed him for the drive. A drive, mind you, that he suggested and made willingly. He kept pleading that I wasn’t giving him a chance to prove himself.”) is shocking for at least two reasons: Continue reading →

What I’m Reading, July 22, 2014

Posted on July 22, 2014 by wellsdc

Why don’t these ‘Women Against Feminism’ get their sweet asses back in the kitchen? Robyn Pennacchia, Death and Taxes, July 15, 2014

I say, if you’re a woman opposed to feminism, then you should damn well put your money where your mouth is. Stay the hell home and have babies, why don’t you? Don’t vote. Don’t wear pants. Don’t spit in the face of everything feminism has given you and then continue to take advantage of the fruits of that labor. You’re like spoiled children complaining about your parents while living off of a trust fund they gave you.

Women Who are Ambivalent about Women Against Women Against Feminism, Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess, July 21, 2014 Continue reading →

What I’m Reading, July 21, 2014

Posted on July 21, 2014 by wellsdc

Should International Refugee Law Accommodate Climate Change? allAfrica, July 3, 2014

Ioane Teitiota, a Kiribati national, lost his asylum appeal in New Zealand this past May in a case In the case of cross-border movement, we’re looking at a gaping legal hole that would have made him the world’s first-ever “climate change refugee.” Mr. Teitiota moved there in 2007 with his family, claiming his island home was sinking and becoming too dangerous to live on. His lawyers argued that Mr. Teitiota was being “persecuted passively by the circumstances in which he’s living, which the Kiribati Government has no ability to ameliorate.”

New Zealand’s Court of Appeal ruled that while climate change is a major and growing concern for the international community, the phenomenon “and its effect on countries like Kiribati is not appropriately addressed under the Refugee Convention.” That 1951 treaty defines a refugee as a person who “has a well-founded fear of persecution because of his/her race, religion, nationality, membership in a particular social group or political opinion.”

“We don’t have, in international law, or any kind of mechanisms to allow people to enter a State against the will of the State, unless they’re refugees. And even then, they don’t technically have the right to enter, but they cannot be punished for entering,” the Special Rapporteur on the Human Rights of Migrants, François Crépeau, told the UN News Centre. His mandate has been awarded by the Human Rights Council and his work is supported by the Office of the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR).

I’m sorry for coining the phrase “Manic Pixie Dream Girl”, Nathan Rabin, Salon, July 15, 2014 Continue reading →

#LikeAGirl, Part 2

Posted on July 20, 2014 by wellsdc

Kacy Catanzaro did what some unknown (by me, anyway) number of people, including many dudes, cannot even imagine doing.

People who say that her tininess (5′ tall, 100ish lbs.) gives her an advantage, note her tiny arm span. She didn’t just cross from one pole to another, she jumped. Give badassedness its due.

What I’m Reading, July 17, 2014

Posted on July 17, 2014 by wellsdc

Man mansplains that men also mansplain to men. Another man mansplains why. Ally Fogg, Heteronormative Patriarchy for Men, July 11, 2014

Where women complain about harassing and intrusive behaviour on the streets or public transport, you can always bank on some arsehole piping up “But that’s not sexism, men shout random abuse at each other too!” It’s true, they do. So it is not always sexist. Sometimes it is racist or ableist or homophobic or just plain, simple bullying. So can we cut all that out too while we’re at it?

Where women complain about feeling the threat of violence when walking outside at night, Mr Bloke can be banked on to respond “What are you complaining about? Men are much more likely to be randomly assaulted by strangers than women are.” This is also true. So can we please join with those women who are quite keen to see an end to such behaviour? Sooner than later would be good.
Or in the case in point, men use conversational exchanges not (just) to communicate, bond or exchange views and knowledge, but as a competitive sport, a test of dominance and status. It is quite true that this becomes an opportunity to establish social dominance over women (aka mansplaining) but also over other men. This is not an especially healthy trait. I’m sure we’ve all been in meetings (whether in work, politics, voluntary societies or whatever) which are dominated not by the person with the best ideas or the greatest knowledge, but the one with the most regard for the sound of (usually) his own voice. I’m dreadfully guilty of this myself, and am quite happy to acknowledge it and try to catch myself on.

The American Century is over: How our country went down in a blaze of shame, Michael Lind, Salon, July 12, 2014

Continue reading →

What I’m Reading, July 14, 2014

Posted on July 14, 2014 by wellsdc

Why So Down, Maureen Dowd? BooMan, Booman Tribune, July 6, 2014

We’re not a superpower brought low. That’s why the kids don’t want to have that discussion. It’s because we’ve been low ever since we found out that that John Wayne b.s. was a myth, which, for most people, happened decades ago now. In many ways, this country has never been stronger or fairer than it is today, and if we could just get back our majorities we could begin making progress on the problems we’re still facing. The kids don’t want to debate the death of a superpower foolishness any more than they want to debate Jim Crow, gay rights, or the reality of climate change.

At the end of her insufferable column, Ms. Dowd quotes, but does not seem to understand, Nathaniel Philbrick. Mr. Philbrick points out that past is not what it appears to be. The Founding Fathers’ flaws were airbrushed out of history. Even George Washington was a flawed man. “What George Washington did right was to realize how much of what he thought was right was wrong.”

This is what Ms. Dowd has not done. She has not learned that America was never John Wayne-undeafeatable. She mourns not the loss of a better America, but an America that was as phony as the idea of John Wayne being a courageous war hero. The truth is, he opted not to serve. The truth is, America is a much better place today than it was in the 1950’s and 1960’s.

Todd Starnes’ Convenient Concerns About Violence, Ed Brayton, Dispatches from the Culture Wars, July 11, 2014 Continue reading →

I Guess It’s Either/Or, Fellas

Posted on July 13, 2014 by wellsdc

We can re-grow our hair in the face of male-pattern baldness, or we can maintain interest in sex—apparently, we have to choose one or the other.

Maybe, just maybe, all that stuff about baldness being repulsive to the opposite sex was only trying to sell us stuff, not tell us some greater truth of the universe. Who knew?

There’s a Rogaine commercial from the 2001-02 period that I can’t seem to find on YouTube or anywhere else on the Googles. I linked to a few posts above by people who were complaining about it back when it aired, so it clearly made an impression on people. The commercial pretty much flat-out said that your girlfriend will leave you if you lose your hair. It’s sort of burned in my brain because it was so over-the-top awful.

There was a narrator asking a guy questions, one of which was something like “Won’t she still feel the same way if you lose your hair?” The guy responds “Yes…..about someone else.” Continue reading →

#LikeAGirl

Posted on July 10, 2014 by wellsdc

A friend posted this video on Facebook:

It gave me an idea. Continue reading →

This Former Divorce Lawyer Stands Up for a Republican, Sort of, Just for a Second

Posted on July 10, 2014 by wellsdc

I’ve seen this meme floating around a bit today on Facebook (h/t Jason), even though it’s from an article dated March 22, 2014. I wanted to set a few things straight about it. (This is adapted from a Facebook comment I left.)

Sen. Richard Ross, Asshole of the Day, March 22, 2014. Proposed a bill to make women going through divorce get a judge's permission to date or have sex.

The meme shows a picture of Massachusetts State Senator Richard Ross, and names him Asshole of the Day for March 22, 2014. It then states, “Proposed a bill to make women going through divorce get a judge’s permission to date or have sex.”

First of all, Sen. Ross introduced the bill at the request of a constituent, apparently based on a Massachusetts procedural rule that allows anyone to introduce legislation. The senator has stated that he does not actually endorse the bill, so I guess I really don’t understand how Massachusetts does legislating.

The meme is misleading because it only mentions women going through a divorce, and it does not mention anything about the bill only applying to divorces with children. The bill is terrible, but not for the reasons stated by the Asshole of the Day site. The change made by the bill would apply to both men and women….at least on paper. This is actually a relatively common feature of divorces with kids, in my experience (with some very important differences I’ll discuss below). Here’s the text of the amended provision:

In divorce, separation, or 209A proceedings involving children and a marital home, the party remaining in the home shall not conduct a dating or sexual relationship within the home until a divorce is final and all financial and custody issues are resolved, unless the express permission is granted by the courts.

The idea behind this, in Texas at least, is to keep the kids’ situation reasonably stable while the divorce is pending—in Texas that’s a minimum of 60 days from the filing date, but in some states it’s as much as 6-12 months. Having new significant others around while the divorce is still pending, the theory goes, is not in the “best interest of the children” (which is the gold standard in every state that I know of.)

Now, in practice, is this a good idea to have as a statute covering all divorces with children? Hell no. It assumes that children need to be shielded, and can be shielded, from the grittier details of a divorce in all cases, and that’s not remotely correct. Note that the bill doesn’t make distinctions between infants (who don’t care), the toddler-to-tween range (who would probably be the most affected), and teenagers (the wildcard). Continue reading →

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