The Most Interesting Name in the World

Posted on May 28, 2014 by wellsdc

The Dos Equis advertising campaign “The Most Interesting Man in the World” has been around since 2006, and it’s still producing some awesomely clever stuff.

The actor who portrays the titular character has stated that Fernando Lamas, who was a personal friend, partly inspired the character—which, let’s face it, is awesome.

They never reveal the Most Interesting Man’s name, though, because frankly, nothing can compare to whatever name our imaginations can conceive. The actor’s name is Jonathan Goldsmith. From an American perspective (well, my middle-class white American perspective), that’s not a very, um, interesting name, but I had a bit of fun with Bing Translator and have a suggestion.

“Goldsmith” doesn’t have a Spanish translation (I’m starting with the assumption, based on the character’s accent, that he would have a Spanish name). Neither does “Jonathan.” If you translate the component words of “Goldsmith” (adapting “smith” to “blacksmith” for Translator purposes), and make some tweaks to the first name, you get a pretty cool-sounding name: Continue reading →

Fun Moments in Misheard Lyrics: Toto

Posted on May 22, 2014 by wellsdc

For whatever reason, I have spent most of my life so far thinking that Toto was singing about “Kilimanjaro ris[ing] like a leopress above the Serengeti.”

I am now pretty much certain that they’re singing that “Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.”

This makes perfect sense, considering that Kilimanjaro and Olympus are both mountains (well, one’s a volcano, but you get the idea), and Kilimanjaro looms over the Serengeti—or at least the general vicinity of the Serengeti—in a way that is surely reminiscent of the divine nature ascribed to Olympus at various points in history. (The Olympus in Greece, I mean. Not so much the ones in Washington, Utah, or Mars.)

It also makes sense because:

I’m not sure “leopress” is even an actual word used to describe a female leopard (although it does describe a WordPress theme), and
In what possible way could a volcano rise above the savannah in a way that is reminiscent of a mostly-jungle-dwelling large cat?

Think about it. But hurry, boy—it’s waiting there for you.

What the He!! Did I Just Read?

Posted on May 21, 2014 by wellsdc

Go ahead and laugh:

Police on lookout for driving dog in Cum Park Plaza:

Burlington, North Carolina’s shopping center Cum Park Plaza saw action this week, after police pursued a canine (not pictured above) that was supposedly operating a motor vehicle.

The News-Record reported that on Tuesday Burlington police were authorized to “be on the lookout” (BOLO!) for a dark-colored vehicle with a dog’s foot on the gas. “There was a car in the area of Cum Park Plaza driving recklessly,” Lt. Brian Long said, “and it appeared a dog was driving the vehicle.”

You have a choice here: do you want to snicker at the fact that there is an actual place in North Carolina called Cum Park Plaza*, or do you want to sing the Toonces the Driving Cat song? Continue reading →

I Have a New Favorite Word

Posted on May 21, 2014 by wellsdc

“Ammosexual.”

Joffrey, the Out-of-Context Motivational Speaker

Posted on April 14, 2014 by wellsdc

Context truly is everything. (Spoilers, should you explore this any further.)

A Fun Way to Troll the Entire English-Speaking World

Posted on April 10, 2014 by wellsdc

Connie Ma [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Flickr Let’s start referring to massage therapists as “massaginists.”

Photo credit: Connie Ma [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Flickr.

Stop! Grammar Time! Origin of an Expletive.

Posted on February 26, 2014 by wellsdc

Do you know where the f-word originally came from? Neither do I, but theories abound. Kate at So Long As It’s Words summarizes one incorrect historical account:

One origin story for fuck is that it comes from when sex was outlawed unless it was permitted explicitly by the king, so people who were legally banging had Fornication Under Consent of the King on their doors, or: F.U.C.K. But obviously that’s wrong. And if you do believe that, stop it. Stop it right now.

She goes on to identify early instances of the word and various theories as to its origin. I still prefer this obviously-incorrect one, though.

Anyway, here’s British actor Peter Capaldi saying “fuck” a lot in the 2009 film In the Loop:

Stop! Grammar Time! “Finish” vs. “Complete”

Posted on February 19, 2014 by wellsdc

I have no idea if there’s a rule. My friend Nacole shared this take on it:

Here’s my hypothesis:

If you “finish” something, it sort of ceases to exist in your reality – you finish your dinner, or you finish a race.

“Completing” something results in a product of some sort that you keep – you complete a painting. You can also complete a marathon, which is an accomplishment that stays with you forever (maybe that’s a stretch.)

If you “finish” a book, I take that to mean that you read the whole thing, and probably won’t read it again.

If you “complete” a book, it sounds to me like you have reached the end of the writing process, so for the rest of your life you can say “Hey! I wrote a book!”

Of course, this is the English language, so there are exceptions. In fact, there are probably more exceptions than examples of the rule. Also, we haven’t discussed “I’m finished” versus “I’m done,” but that might just be a regional Texas thing.

I have now finished thinking about this issue, and I’d say this post is complete.

Libertarianism in 4 Words

Posted on December 31, 2013 by wellsdc

The hashtag #libertarianismin4words was trending on Monday, leading to some amusing critiques of what I will charitably call the political ideology, along with some breathless efforts to decry the ignorance of the mockers and some noble attempts to find four words to describe the libertarian worldview that weren’t all either “freedom” or “liberty.”

I haven’t exactly made my thoughts on libertarianism a secret around here, so I don’t need to rehash or go into any great detail here. I will note, perhaps gratuitously, that four words is probably a fair limit for defenders of the ideology, at least since my own experience suggests that it has nothing to recommend it aside from abstract nouns.

Voluntary transaction not coercion. #LibertarianismIn4Words

— Econlib (@Econlib) June 14, 2012

#LibertarianismIn4words Free Minds, Free Markets

— reason (@reason) June 13, 2012

I took the liberty (see what I did there?) of Storifying some tweets that I found amusing. This is by no means a complete set of tweets I liked, but rather just the ones that came up on a quick search of the hashtag:

Here were my thoughts for those who, as always, claimed that the critics just. don’t. get. it:

If you think that we who make light of #libertarianismin4words just don't understand REAL libertarianism – maybe it's you, not us (1/2)

— d.wells (@wellslawoffice) December 31, 2013

(2/2) because it's all based on what self-proclaimed libertarians say. But go ahead and try to backtrack. #libertarianismin4words

— d.wells (@wellslawoffice) December 31, 2013

Cryptic Philosopher

This is the Way the Spoon Bends

Category Archives: Fun With Words