I guess this is one right we do have! – UPDATED

At least this person still believes in some part of the Constitution:

WASHINGTON — Attorney General Alberto Gonzales’ liaison with the White House will refuse to answer questions at upcoming Senate hearings about the firings of eight U.S. attorneys, citing her Fifth Amendment protection against self-incrimination, her lawyer said Monday.

“I have decided to follow my lawyer’s advice and respectfully invoke my constitutional right,” Monica Goodling, Gonzales’ counsel and White House liaison, said in a statement to the Senate Judiciary Committee.

Of course she has that right, and of course Congress is not supposed to draw any directly negative inference from her refusal to testify.

Still, I have to wonder…if, in Alberto-world, there is no express grant of the right of habeas corpus despite this language in the Constitution…

The privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.

…then how do we really know that this grants us the right to protection from self-incrimination?

No person shall be…compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself.

Of course, I’m being sarcastic, and I wholeheartedly disagree with the Alberto-world way of seeing things. I suppose I should be grateful that his peeps occasionally do see rights inherent in the Constitution.

UPDATE: Here’s a pretty good analysis of the Fifth Amendment and the circumstances under which a witness is permitted to refuse to testify–in short, you can’t take the Fifth to protect someone else from incrimination, and you can’t do it to avoid committing perjury (which is a pretty lame excuse anyway).

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Ewwwwww

Here’s an urban hazard few saw coming:

TAIPEI – Residents of Tainan learned a lesson in whale biology after the decomposing remains of a 60-ton sperm whale exploded on a busy street, showering nearby cars and shops with blood and organs and stopping traffic for hours.

The 56-foot-long whale had been on a truck headed for a necropsy by researchers, when gases from internal decay caused its entrails to explode in the southern city of Tainan.

REMAINS FROM WHALE THAT EXPLODED

Damn.

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Hold on a second…

From the Dallas Morning News:

The Rev. R. Albert Mohler Jr., one of the country’s pre-eminent evangelical leaders, acknowledged that he irked many fellow conservatives with an article this month saying that scientific research “points to some level of biological causation” for homosexuality.

Proof of a biological basis would challenge the belief of many conservative Christians that homosexuality – which they view as sinful – is a matter of choice that can be overcome through prayer and counseling.

However, Dr. Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky., was assailed even more harshly by gay-rights supporters. They were upset by his assertion that homosexuality would remain a sin even if it were biologically based, and by his support for possible medical treatment that could switch an unborn gay baby’s sexual orientation to heterosexual.

Far be it for me to say what’s what on matters of faith, but I gotta say that Dr. Mohler can’t have it both ways. Either it’s a lifestyle choice, in which a remarkable number of people have chosen ostracism (and fabulosity!); or it’s a biological defect, in which case we’re darn lucky to have someone like Dr. Mohler to repair God’s gigantic fuck-up.

As I have often wondered, now that we’ve solved the gay problem (clearly proscribed in Leviticus 18:22), when are we going to deal with all those men who “cut the hair at the sides of [their] head or clip off the edges of [their] beard” (Lev. 19:27)?

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Scrutiny’s a bitch

I stumbled across an unintentionally hilarious bit from Michael Medved just now, in which he addresses why liberalism has momentarily surpassed conservatism. I now offer a little of what people on the right fear most, scrutiny.

Conservatives will return to decisive victories only if we come to terms with liberalism’s visceral appeal. The best way to overcome our ideological adversaries is to understand their approach to major issues.

While conservatives obsess over distinctions of right and wrong, and insist that inevitable consequences must flow from good and bad behavior (see last week’s column), liberals focus on differences of another sort entirely.

The rhetoric of today’s left shows that they see society divided between the privileged and the powerless, the favored and the unfortunate, victors and victims.
Liberals feel an irresistible instinct to take sides with the less fortunate.

While the right wants to reward beneficial choices and discourage destructive directions, the left seeks to eliminate or reduce the impact of the disadvantages that result from bad decisions. In place of the conservative emphasis on accountability, the left proffers a gospel of indiscriminate compassion.

First of all, he draws a distinction between distinctions made by liberals and conservatives (there’s a mouthful) that is no distinction at all: Liberals distinguish between victors and vitcims; conservatives between right and wrong. There is no comparison to be made here–one distinction involves people, the other values.

Leaving that aside, he offers nothing whatsoever to back up his assertions, i.e. real-world examples. The second you look at the real world, his assertions become laughable.

[C]onservatives obsess over distinctions of right and wrong, and insist that inevitable consequences must flow from good and bad behavior…the right wants to reward beneficial choices and discourage destructive directions.

These statements are true, provided you define “wrong” to exclude anything done by current and former Republican officials, and define “destructive directions” to exclude ill-conceived wars and botched disaster relief efforts.

[T]he left seeks to eliminate or reduce the impact of the disadvantages that result from bad decisions. In place of the conservative emphasis on accountability, the left proffers a gospel of indiscriminate compassion.

I guess I don’t know for a fact that he is presenting this is a bad thing, but the overall context would support that interpretation (Townhall being a somewhat conservative website). I will skip over all the ways that “the conservative emphasis on accountability” cause me to laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh, and move on to “the left proffers a gospel of indiscriminate compassion.” First of all, isn’t compassion a key goal of the current administration? Second, what exactly is indiscriminate here? He alleges that liberals in America play against type by offering such wholehearted support for our terrorist enemies:

[T]he odd liberal sympathy for Islamo-Nazi terrorists, whose radically reactionary (indeed, medieval) ideology should make them anathema to enlightened opinion in the West. How can militant feminists applaud the anti-American rhetoric of Islamist crazies who want to keep all women in burkas as the property of their husbands, and how can gay activists identify with jihadi killers who endorse the execution of homosexuals? The widespread activism on behalf of the fanatical internees at Guantanamo remains one of the most spectacular displays of lefty lunacy in recent years.

Of course, he neglects to name a single “militant feminist” applauding burka rhetoric, nor a single “gay activist” who identifies with “jihadi killers.” He offers no examples of any such arguments being made. He does not seem to consider that common cause with jihadis (pause for bemused laughter) might not be the only reason to oppose the detentions at Guantanamo–for example, some may take issue with the fact that not a single Guantanamo detainee has yet been convicted of a crime, and the administration’s track record on prosecutions ain’t so good. It has not even been established that many of the detainees are suspected of all that much, so his characterization of them as “fanatical internees” is not particularly honest (more bemused laughter). I don’t suppose he is actually out to convince anyone of anything, though, and he only has straw man arguments left to support his points. It is an article of faith to some that liberals hate America, so therefore no proof is actually needed. Fortunately, it seems as though the utter dishonesty of all of this is becoming more and more apparent to people, thus reducing the ramblings of people like Medved to the intellectual circle jerk they deserve to be.

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Polar bear fun

Follow the adventures of Knut, the German-born polar bear cub being raised in a nontraditional setting (not just the zoo part of the raising).

Awkwardly translated into English (thanks Babelfish!) here.

Übersetzt nicht an allen, hier.

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Polar bear fun

Follow the adventures of Knut, the German-born polar bear cub being raised in a nontraditional setting (not just the zoo part of the raising).

Awkwardly translated into English (thanks Babelfish!) here.

Übersetzt nicht an allen, hier.

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Couldn’t the free market take care of this even better?

I had to read this several times to really believe it. Texas State Sen. Dan Patrick has introduced a bill that would basically authorize the state to pay women to give their babies up for adoption:

Under Patrick’s SB 1567, AKA the Texas Baby Purchasing Act of 2007, women would qualify for a $500 payment from the state within 60 days of signing away all parental rights to their newborn children.

The full text is available here.

Lest you wonder if the Sen. Patrick is asking the state to engage in an illegal form of baby brokering, he has covered all the bases. The bill provides: “Section 25.08, Penal Code, does not apply to the grant or acceptance of money under this section.”

Penal Code Section 25.08 provides as follows:

§ 25.08. SALE OR PURCHASE OF CHILD.
(a) A person commits an offense if he:

(1) possesses a child younger than 18 years of age or has the custody, conservatorship, or guardianship of a child younger than 18 years of age, whether or not he has actual possession of the child, and he offers to accept, agrees to accept,
or accepts a thing of value for the delivery of the child to another or for the possession of the child by another for purposes of adoption; or
(2) offers to give, agrees to give, or gives a thing of value to another for acquiring or maintaining the possession of a child for the purpose of adoption.

(b) It is an exception to the application of this section that the thing of value is:

(1) a fee or reimbursement paid to a child-placing agency as authorized by law;
(2) a fee paid to an attorney, social worker, mental health professional, or physician for services rendered in the usual course of legal or medical practice or in providing adoption counseling;
(3) a reimbursement of legal or medical expenses incurred by a person for the benefit of the child; or
(4) a necessary pregnancy-related expense paid by a child-placing agency for the benefit of the child’s parent during the pregnancy or after the birth of the child as permitted by the minimum standards for child-placing agencies and Department of Protective and Regulatory Services rules.

(c) An offense under this section is a felony of the third degree, except that the offense is a felony of the second degree if the actor commits the offense with intent to commit an offense under Section 43.25.

Now I have no idea how much of a shortage there is for adoptable children (although here are some statistics), but there is something downright creepy about this. Leaving aside the issue of abortion as a possible alternative to the baby being, uh, placed through the Adoption Incentive Program, how is this different from selling one’s baby into adoption in a way that does violate the above-quote Penal Code section? Well, the answer is because Sen. Patrick (and possibly the Texas Legislature) says so. Here’s another question: how does this fit in with Republicans’ general preference for privatization? Republicans want to limit spending, downsize the government, and turn as many functions over to the private sector as possible (at least, you say so in your 2004 party platform, pp. 22-23). I mean, really, in for a penny, in for a pound, right? How about we create baby rescue societies? It has worked as a means of relieving the burden on our publicly-funded animal shelters. Those tend to be nonprofit ventures, though, providing no incentives for providing the merchandise to the organization (in this case, dogs, but it could be anything, really).

Of course, you want to make sure an adequate market exists for all the new babies you will be acquiring. One of the most important rules of business is to never acquire inventory you don’t know you can move. Maybe it is time to loosen some of those restrictions on who may adopt. Heck, if we get lucky, maybe the state of Texas will be collecting perpetual royalties from its very own Truman Show!

On the other hand, I may be full of shit and SB 1567 may be a terrible idea. Besides, who wants to run the risk that the biggest cutomer might be this guy?

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What blogs are for

Ever since I started writing here, I’ve been wondering exactly what the hell I’m doing. While at times it is very cathartic to get things off my chest, I sometimes wonder if this isn’t just getting me even more keyed up. A post from Glenn Greenwald at Salon helped put some things in perspective for me:

The point here — as always — is to try to force the media to write about the stories it covers in a more critical and factual manner, to compel them to abandon the cheap and lazy cliches that otherwise frame everything they write. That is one of the most critical functions of blogs, and it is one of the goals that is realistically attainable by bloggers and their readers working together.

I have no illusions that anyone in the mainstream media pays any attention whatsoever to this blog, but someone out there is reading it (I think), so at least I’m getting to put my own warped take on things out there in the stream of consciousness. I will not stop until I have wiped out idiocy in its entirety. Or until I come up with something better to do.

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