In honor of Hodor

Hodor

Show some love for the big guy!

With the return of “Game of Thrones” and its resident lovable giant, Hodor, Warming Glow ranks the top ten Hodors in film and television. Personally, I wish they could have included at least one Lennie (Lon Chaney, Jr. or John Malkovich would do), but it’s a good list. I particularly approve putting Fezzik at the top. Besides, Fezzik would find his way up there regardless, and no one would be able to stop him.

Osha

She was good in the Harry Potter movies, too

I sincerely hope that Hodor gets a bigger role in this season. It will be interesting, albeit creepy, to see what, if anything, they do with the relationship between Hodor and Osha. I’m referring, of course, to the scene in season 1 when Hodor is swimming and Osha marvels at his, uh, hodor.

In honor of what will hopefully be a Hodor-centric season on “Game of Thrones,” please join me in saying hodor. Hodor hodor hodor, hodor hodor.

Hodor.

Hodor.

Photo credit: All photos posted on Something Awful by Hodor, I mean, uh, Rarity. Hodor.

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Porn and Prejudice: Newspaper Edition

Silhouette of Stripper on a PoleHouston was shocked, shocked! to learn that one of the Houston Chronicle’s society reporters — truly the last guardians of dignity in our culture — was moonlighting as a (gasp) stripper. Now she no longer works as a society reporter, and presumably society is safe once more.

Richard Connelly, a writer for the Houston Post, broke the story with all the gravitas you might expect from the guy who broke the story of hot chicks on the Texas sex offender registry. When faced with criticism that all he was doing was good old-fashioned slut-shaming, he tried to deny it by confirming it:

I don’t get the”slut shaming” charge. If you want to be a stripper, fine.

If you want to write for a very conservative, uptight paper — covering the very powerful, very conservative and straitlaced people the paper so desperately works to keep happy and unruffled — fine.

If you want to combine the two, it’s interesting, to say the least.

Andrea Grimes aptly addresses why Connelly probably really doesn’t think it’s “fine:”

Connelly’s entire post belies the “If you want to be a stripper, fine,” sentence. Obviously it’s not “fine” with Connelly or he wouldn’t have written an entire blog post on this woman, dug up background information on her, posted pictures so everyone could see what she looks like, contacted her bosses to make sure they knew she was a stripper and–here’s the journalism 101 FAIL, guys: posted the whole thing before he had heard from her for comment (or heard from her declining to do so).

This strikes me as an example of a person creating a situation, then claiming that it is something important, “interesting,” and newsworthy. Connelly acts like he is motivated out of concern that a reporter at a conservative Texas newspaper is also a low-level sex worker, but the whole thing might have never come to light had he not broken the story himself. It is the journalistic equivalent of internet hunting. Besides, Tressler wasn’t exactly hiding.

It’s not terribly hard to drum up a bit of outrage by revealing that someone works on the side as a — gasp! — stripper. Houston has a rather tremendous number of strip clubs (I have heard that it has among the biggest number of strip clubs per capita in the country, whatever that means, but I can’t find figures on that, alas.) It should not be surprising to learn that a Houstonian works or has worked as a stripper, any more than learning that a Houstonian has patronized a strip club. Many people seem to still think that activities in strip clubs are much more interesting (and less legal) than they usually are. The bottom line is that it is an effective way for some people to make money, and now one person has lost the job most directly related to their career. Working as a stripper is only scandalous because certain busybodies make it so.

In closing, the best headline to come out of this manufactroversy: “Stripper Holds Shameful Secret Day Job as a Reporter.”

Photo credit: Silhouette of Stripper on a Pole by Momoko (Open Clip Art library image’s page) [see page for license], via Wikimedia Commons.

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Thoughts on Game of Thrones: I hope people keep slapping Joffrey

I will endeavor to avoid spoilers, but I may engage in a bit of foreshadowing.

Season 2 is off to a pretty cracking start (it has me talking all British.)

King’s Landing: I support the show’s emphasis on people slapping Joffrey. I am hopeful that we will see much more Joffrey slapping throughout the season.

Perhaps the greatest joy in A Clash of Kings (the second book in the series, for those who haven’t read them) is the face off in King’s Landing between Tyrion and Cersei, and it looks like this season will not disappoint. I also like how they are establishing Cersei’s grand dilemma. She has near-absolute power over a clever man like Littlefinger, but she is utterly helpless before her idiot son Joffrey (who she made into a monster, incidentally.) Joffrey is too much of a mama’s boy to ever actually hurt Cersei, but it will be fun to see how the mother-son relationship develops now that they are Queen Regent and King.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but is the hardcore sex really necessary? It really adds nothing, and it’s a bit distracting. (My love for boobs notwithstanding.) Perhaps the sex lessons in Littlefinger’s brothel served to compensate us for the murder of Robert’s infant son. I think by now everyone knows to expect an atrocity around every corner, though.

Perhaps the strangest line of the whole episode: “You can smell come from the balcony?” Thanks, Tyrion. It is surprising that Tyrion has Shae staying with him in the Tower of the Hand. It has been clearly established that there is no privacy in the Red Keep, so it is a mystery to me how Tyrion expects to keep Shae there without his father finding out. I was bit worried that they are setting up Littlefinger’s brothel to serve the function of Chataya’s in the book. Given the need to condense characters and settings in the medium of television, I could see Chataya’s being one of the setting that doesn’t make the cut, but I hope they include it. Considering how lily-white the fantasy genre tends to be, Chataya and Alayaya are not only some of the very few people of color even mentioned in the books, and Alayaya is one of the few truly honorable characters in the whole series. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Beyond the Wall: Craster is as big an asshole as I imagined he would be.

Dragonstone: Stephen Dillane is freaking perfect as Stannis Baratheon.

I wasn’t sold on Carice van Houten as Melisandre at first. I don’t know exactly how I pictured her. I must say she captures the sheer weirdness, for lack of a better word, of Melisandre. She has some stuff comkng up that’s going to be very interesting to see.

Essos: I hope they don’t linger too much in the Red Waste, because (no spoilers) I’m excited to see where they’re going.

There was a brief hint, it seemed, of something between Daenerys and Rakharo. Where in the world could they be going with that?

The North: Bran’s “wolf dreams” were always the hardest part of the books for me to grasp. I like the way they are handling it so far. Also, I really like Osha. And I can’t wait for Hodor to get to just be Hodor for a while.

On the war front, I can do without many more extended scenes of various Starks taunting Jaime Lannister. I know Jaime spends the entire second book as the Starks’ captive, mostly in a dungeon, but I doubt they’ll stick to that in the show. For one thing, Jaime is a pretty major character and they need to keep him moving. For another, let’s face it, Nicolaj Coster-Waldau is too dang handsome for TV producers to leave him tied to a post for nine more episodes. I just don’t know if they’ll find something else for Jaime to do or if they’ll get him started early on Book 3.

A scene late in Season 1 made a point of Robb excitedly greeting his mother and then remembering that, as lord, he had to be a bit more dignified than that (especially in front of his bannermen). They did a very good job showing Robb’s growth as a leader and the changing power dynamic between him and Catelyn–she may still be his mother, but he’s the king now.

The Kingsroad: We need to see more Arya Stark. She can’t turn into an epic badass if she doesn’t get any screen time.

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It was necessary to destroy the car in order to save the hamster

'hamster' by Yukari*, on FlickrHow far would you go to save the pet hamster you just bought fifteen minutes ago? If you are 33 year-old student Fran Elkington, you would hire mechanics to take your Volkswagen Beetle completely apart to free the critter.

It seems she had just picked up Willow the hamster, and the little one got away from her during the 15-minute drive from the pet store to her house. Fran knew Willow was still in the car, and when she couldn’t find her she left food and water in there, hoping she’d emerge again. Willow kept eating the food, and Fran kept avoiding driving the car so as not to spook or hurt her. She tried using more food and a humane trap, but nothing was working. Willow was beginning to nibble on the seats themselves, so it was time for drastic action.

That’s when Fran enlisted the aid of some auto mechanics, who removed the car’s seats, doors, and back panels. They found Willow nestled in a gap near the car’s trunk. Since this all happened in England, they called it a “boot.” Willow is now safe and sound.

The bill for the dismantling and reassembly of the Beetle came out to $4,700, according to the Huffington Post. The Sun reports the fee as £300, so either someone reported something wrong or the exchange rate has really gotten out of control. Anyway, the mechanic shop waived the fee, presumably because everyone was too busy jumping for joy and hugging to worry about collecting payment.

Remember that owning a pet is a big, big responsibility. Fran Elkington gets it.

Photo credit: ‘hamster’ by Yukari*, on Flickr.

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Random Coincidences: “The Magnificent Seven”

Some of you may know 1960’s “The Magnificent Seven” as one of the greatest westerns of all time. It is also based on Kurosawa’s 1954 film “The Seven Samurai,” considered by me to be the greatest film of all time. Yes, I’m talking to you, “Citizen Kane” and “Casablanca.” Kurosawa’s movie is better, so nyah.

Of the seven actors that played the seven Old West gunslingers hired to defend a Mexican village from a group of bandits led by a classically-trained actor faking a Mexican accent, only one, Robert Vaughan, is still with us today. (He has done some remarkable work as a non-attorney spokesperson recently, but I digress.)

The first two to pass away were Steve McQueen in 1980 and Yul Brynner in 1985. After that, four more have died, and it all happened in the space of one year:

There is no greater cosmic significance to this whatsoever, although (no major spoilers) if the actors had passed in the same order as their characters in the film, that would be something remarkable. I just thought it was interesting. (This is what I do on Saturday mornings.)

It is vaguely reminiscent of the “Poltergeist” curse, in that it is tempting to draw some sort of conclusion that greater forces are at work. Statistically speaking, though, the supposed curse around the three “Poltergeist” films (2 unusual deaths, 2 medically-predictable ones, all of them tragic) was  nothing out of the ordinary.

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Happy National Cleavage Day!

Yes, this really is a thing.

I was going to quote from the article, but it’s such a painful mishmash of British boob puns, I couldn’t do it. Lest you think this is a serious holiday, it’s just a way to sell bras by showcasing cleavage. I must be getting older, because I’m just not that inspired.

WordPress won’t let me embed their somewhat-obnoxious video. Just know that it features women in brand-name brassieres and lingering shots of dudes with varying degrees of surprise or embarrassment on display.

Here’s a GIF of Allison Brie from “Community.” You’re welcome.

 

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In honor of Game of Thrones Season 2, I present “Tyrion Slaps Joffrey”

It may take time for all the GIF’s to load, but it will be worth it.

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Hell hath no fury

Presented not for myself, but on behalf of people I care about.

Hell Hath No Fury, graphic by sarahlee310

November 6, 2012: Get your ass out there and vote.

Photo credit: Hell Hath No Fury by sarahlee310

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This plan may have backfired

From the “scaring kids for Jesus” department comes this tale out of Middletown, PA:

County prosecutors have begun an investigation into a church function where members of a youth group were tied up and blindfolded as part of a lesson in religious persecution.

Fran Chardo, First Deputy District Attorney of Dauphin County, said there could be consequences if teens didn’t know what was going to happen, and didn’t agree to be a part of the event at the Glad Tidings Assembly of God Church in Lower Swatara Township.

“It’s actually quite serious,” Chardo said. “False imprisonment of a child, someone under the age of 18, is a second-degree felony punishable up to 10 years on prison.”

ABC27 News has learned that an off-duty police officer acted as one of two kidnappers who raided the Wednesday night meeting. The gun used by the officer in the fake raid was unloaded, but real.

Taurus .357 Magnum by SoulRider.222 on FlickrI was once involved in a church youth group skit involving a real, loaded gun, but I’ll get to that.

Lower Swatara Township police began their own investigation when the mother of a 14-year-old girl complained that her daughter, a guest of a youth group member, had her legs bruised during the event.

The teen told abc27 News she thought she was going to die when the men burst into the room, put pillow cases over some of the people’s heads and led them into a van.

“They pulled my chair out from underneath me and then they told me to get on the ground,” she said. “I was the first person to go into the van. I had my hands behind my back they said ‘just do as I say and you won’t be hurt’.”

The teens were taken to the pastor’s house, where it appeared he was being assaulted. Eventually, she said the adults in charge revealed it was a staged event.

“They heard me crying,” she said. “Why not right then and there tell us it was a joke, when you see me crying?”

Pastor John Lanza said the lesson was a surprise “to secure the shock value of it and make it much more real.”

“There are people in other countries that live under this environment on a regular daily basis,” Lanza said. “They’re not warned that their persecutors are coming in.”

Church officials said the exercise has been done before and they would not shy away from doing it again, but would tell parents first. They added that they never had any indication that the teen was in such distress.

“I’m pretty sure she was laughing at some point and having fun with the other students,” youth pastor Andrew Jordan said. “I can’t confirm that, but that’s what I’ve heard from friends of hers that were there.”

Because there is no better way to teach American teenagers how people elsewhere in the world are traumatized than to traumatize them. Not to quibble with Pastor Lanza, but it does not sound like these children were “warned that their persecutors are coming in,” either. They were just told it was all fake after the fact. I’m sure it was no different than a fraternity prank, right?

Whatever the rationale for this, I hope someone high up gets something more than a slap on the wrist. After all is said and done, these are the adults that these kids are supposed to trust–to rely on for guidance–and this is how the adults treat them? Plus, the whole point of the exercise, by the pastor’s own admission, is to scare the kids, so how does he also suggest they were having fun?

Here’s the deal, Pastor Lanza, either you succeeded in your goal of scaring them (“to secure the shock value”), or the kids were having fun with it. There really is no middle ground here. Either way, you are one sick puppy, pastor.

It puts my loaded (with blanks) gun experience in perspective. Rewind to my high school days, circa 1992. To act out the “full armor of God” bit from Ephesians 6:10-18, my youth director had me put on some baseball catcher’s equipment (to represent the armor) and gave me a .357 loaded with blanks (to represent prayer.) We acted out a skit where a bully was tormenting me, and an angel equipped me with the titular armor. The armor protected me from a bully (played by one of my friends) and the “prayer” took his ass out. I fired slightly to his right (my left), because a tiny bit of common sense and human decency must have crept into my brain in that moment.

But at least no one put a bag over my head and kidnapped me.

(h/t to sinidentidades for the story)

Photo credit: Taurus .357 Magnum by SoulRider.222 on Flickr.

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