I shall not let slide this slanderous slut-shaming of sloths!

Hoffman’s two-toed sloths have active sex lives, according to the BBC. MSN Now calls them “slutty.”

More power to them, I say!

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You Will Never, Ever, Do Anything This Awesome (Probably)

800px-Tracy_Caldwell_Dyson_in_Cupola_ISS

ISS024-E-014263 (11 Sept. 2010) — NASA astronaut Tracy Caldwell Dyson, Expedition 24 flight engineer, looks through a window in the Cupola of the International Space Station. A blue and white part of Earth and the blackness of space are visible through the windows. The image was a self-portrait using natural light.

Wikimedia Commons Picture of the Day for July 12, 2012.

Photo credit: ‘Tracy Caldwell Dyson in Cupola ISS’ by NASA/Tracy Caldwell Dyson [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

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The Robot Apocalypse begins here

This may be the coolest thing I have ever seen:

According to Ray Walters at Geek.com:

Morphex was created by Norwegian Engineer Kare Halvorsen who has a passion for creating hexapod robots in his spare time.

Probably one of his more impressive pieces of work, he has recently updated Morphex to not only have the ability to transform from a ball to a robot, but also to be able to roll about while in sphere form as illustrated in the video above.

To create the aforementioned locomotion, the six-legged robot uses the motors on one side of its body to push itself along while contracted into a ball. The result, while not optimal, is a method of travel that moves Morphex in an arc rather than a straight line. Because of the asymmetric design that results from the hexapod moving itself across the floor, it’s impossible right now to straighten itself out. Still though, this is a pretty impressive upgrade that Halvorsen has incorporated.

That’s pretty damn amazing, but something about this is troubling me….

Yup, that’s it.

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Bob Marley honored with…..wait, what???

A scientist has decided to show his “respect and admiration” for the music of Bob Marley…

Bob-Marley

…by naming a parasitic crustacean after him.

500px-Gnathiid_isopod

The late Jamaican musician Bob Marley has joined the “I have a species named after me” club, as a parasitic crustacean has been donned Gnathia marleyi, researchers announced today (July 10).

This blood feeder infests certain fish that live among the coral reefs of the shallow eastern Caribbean Sea.

“I named this species, which is truly a natural wonder, after Marley because of my respect and admiration for Marley’s music,” Paul Sikkel, an assistant professor of marine ecology at Arkansas State University, said in a statement. “Plus, this species is as uniquely Caribbean as was Marley.”

Wikipedia doesn’t have much information on the species, no surprise, except for this tidbit:

It can be found hiding among sea sponges, algae, and pieces of dead coral.

The Yahoo! article mentions a few other newly-discovered species named for famous people, and I think the problem is that, by and large, all of the cool animals, plants, and fungi have already been discovered and named. I doubt anyone should read too much into the following:

A lichen named for Barack Obama, Caloplaca obamae.

A horsefly, native to Australia, named for Beyonce, Scaptia beyonceae.

A trilobite named for Mick Jagger, Aegrotocatellus jaggeri. Considering that the trilobites went extinct before the dinosaurs showed up, and the specimens we have today are dried-out, fossilized husks, let’s go ahead and read something into that. (I’m a little offended on Mick’s behalf.)

Gary Larson, cartoonist of The Far Side, has a “biting louse” that preys on owls named after him, Strigiphilus garylarsoni.

In addition to Gary Larson, Mental Floss has nine more animals/plants with celebrity namesakes, including Harrison Ford, Freddie Mercury, and Hugh Hefner.

Now I really have something to aspire to.

Photo credits: ‘Bob Marley’ by Eddie Mallin (Bob Marley) [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons; ‘Gnathiid isopod’ by Y-zo (Own work) [GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0], via Wikimedia Commons.

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Things I find on my front porch

20120623-124654.jpgI would not go so far as to call my house “nice,” or “suitable for human habitation,” but I would call it “interesting.” Now that the plague of giant, non-biting mosquitoes seems to have subsided, new arthropodal fauna is coming out of the woodwork (I really hope not literally), and it’s freaking me the hell out.

This hefty dude has taken up residence on my front porch, competing for attention with a mid-sized spider, two cats, and various bugs I shan’t dignify by naming. I decided to crowdsource an ID of my new little buddy, and gosh do I regret doing that (h/t to Teresa for causing my future nightmares with her biology learnin’).

Meet Anisomorpha ferruginea, the Northern Two-striped Walkingstick. He is so terrifying that Wikipedia doesn’t even have a page for him. Here’s what it says about his cousin, Anisomorpha buprestoides:

This species, and another in the same genus (Anisomorpha ferruginea, whose range is more west and north, but may overlap with A. buprestoides) is particularly well known for its very potent chemical defense spray which it deploys from a pair of glands which open at the front of its thorax. The “Devil rider” name for this insect likely comes from this defense…

Did anyone else think of this scene from Starship Troopers?

20120623-124224.jpg

If anyone needs me, I’ll be hiding in my closet with a shoe and a can of Raid.

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This is why I don’t eat squid and octopus, folks

'Octopus shell' by Nick Hobgood (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons

This octopus is judging you

My unusual fascination with cephalopods is pretty much common knowledge by now, with accoutrements ranging from plush toys to kitchenware to body art.

I could list all the reasons why I think squid, octopi, and cuttlefish are fascinating and awesome (almost forgot nautili!), but that would deprive you of the joy of discovering the information on your own. Also, I’m lazy. Instead, I want to address the three principle reasons why I eschew any and all culinary adaptations of our cephalopod brothers and sisters:

1. They’re very smart. I feel guilty eating them. Also, their intelligence is not offset by their deliciousness, as is the case with bacon.

2. They might one day evolve to rival us in intelligence, and I want to be on their good side.

3. If you try to eat them, they might seriously mess with you from beyond the grave:

A 63-year-old Korean woman who was dining on boiled squid was horrified to discover that sperm from the squid had painfully stuck to her tongue and cheeks.

The Squid A Day site reports that the woman experienced severe pain in her mouth after biting into the squid. The National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) explains what happened in further detail:

“She did not swallow the portion, but spat it out immediately. She complained of a pricking and foreign-body sensation in the oral cavity. Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa,” the article abstract states.

“On the basis of their morphology and the presence of the sperm bag, the foreign bodies were identified as squid spermatophores.”

Squid A Day notes that the squid’s internal organs are normally removed when the squid is prepared for a dish, so this is not something the average consumer should have to worry about. When diners orders squid in a restaurant, they are typically served only edible parts, such as the cleaned tentacles and body sac.

And while the incident with this woman is creepy, painful and weird, it’s not entirely without precedent. A report from NCBI in 2011 gave a similar case of squid spermatophores stinging a person’s mouth, but that occurred after the person was eating raw squid. Again, it would seem as if the squid had not been properly prepared for consumption.

Interestingly, the site also says that squid spermatophores are perfectly safe to handle, as they are not powerful enough to stick to the outside of the human body.

Ponder that the next time you think about ordering some calamari.

Photo credit: ‘Octopus shell’ by Nick Hobgood (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons.

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Just Because It’s Natural…

I’ve written two posts this week on things that are purportedly “natural:” first food, then beauty. A few months ago I poked fun at the notion that my new hydrogen peroxide-based contact lens cleaner was somehow not “chemical-based” (I also mistakenly created the impression that I store my contacts in water, which I do not.)

It occurs to me that words like “natural” and “chemical-free” are really just shorthand for something to the effect of “not things we don’t like.” Of course my contact lens cleaner, with all of its bright-red, large-print warnings not to put it directly into my eyes, is not free of “chemicals.” Of course those bits of “shredded” “wheat” are not “natural.” We just tell ourselves this to feel better about an overly technological, strangely alienating world that has nonetheless done a pretty good job of keeping us from dying of smallpox.

There’s no real point to this post, other than to point out other things that are clearly natural, and juxtapose them with things that are not at all free from chemicals.

Chemical-based: Dihydrogen oxide.

'3D model hydrogen bonds in water,' by User Qwerter at Czech wikipedia: Qwerter. Transferred from cs.wikipedia; Transfer was stated to be made by User:sevela.p. Translated to english by by Michal Maňas (User:snek01). Vectorized by Magasjukur2 (File:3D model hydrogen bonds in water.jpg) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Natural: Hurricanes.

'Hurricane Isabel from ISS,' image courtesy of Mike Trenchard, Earth Sciences & Image Analysis Laboratory , Johnson Space Center.[see page for license], via Wikimedia Commons

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You won’t be summering on Gliese 581g any time soon, so don’t get too excited

Artist's conception of the Gliese 581 system by Lynette Cook, via NASA

Artist's conception of the Gliese 581 system by Lynette Cook, via NASA

Digital Journal ran a slightly hyperbolic headline this morning, “Habitable planets like Earth ‘now in the billions'”:

An international team of astronomers have discovered “billions of planets” not much bigger than Earth and have the potential to sustain life, BBC News reports.
Planets like Earth are circling the faint stars in the Milky Way according to the new research. The estimate for the number of so called “Super-Earths” are based on detections of the number of red-dwarf stars in the Galaxy.

Harps employs an indirect method of detection that infers the existence of orbiting planets from the way their gravity makes a parent star appear to twitch in its motion across the sky.

The team’s leader Xavier Bonfils from the Observatoire des Sciences de l’Univers de Grenoble, France said:

“Our new observations with Harps mean that about 40% of all red dwarf stars have a super-Earth orbiting in the habitable zone where liquid water can exist on the surface of the planet.

“Because red dwarfs are so common – there are about 160 billion of them in the Milky Way – this leads us to the astonishing result that there are tens of billions of these planets in our galaxy alone.”

The only reason this isn’t quite as exciting as it sounded to my un-scientifically-trained ear at first is because “discovered” doesn’t necessarily mean “directly identified.” I think most people know that, but the way it’s phrased makes it sound much more earth-shattering (pun sort of intended) than it is. Based on the findings made so far, it seems safe to extrapolate, but it’s not like the researchers will be publishing a billion-entry guidebook to the planets of the Milky Way. It almost seems like the headline and lead-in to this story were specifically designed to disappoint laypeople.

The team investigated a total of 102 of carefully chosen red dwarfs, which are stars that are dimmer and cooler than our sun.

The team found nine super-earths, which are planets with mass one to ten times the size of Earth, with two of these planets being inside the habitable zone of their stars.

So we’ve gone from “billions” to nine, with two in the “Goldilocks zone.” And about that whole “habitable” thing…

Liquid water is deemed a necessity for life to develop on potentially habitable planets.

“The habitable zone around a red dwarf, where the temperature is suitable for liquid water to exist on the surface, is much closer to the star than the Earth is to the Sun,” commented co-researcher Stephane Udry from the Geneva Observatory.

“But red dwarfs are known to be subject to stellar eruptions or flares, which may bathe the planet in X-rays or ultraviolet radiation, and which may make life there less likely.”

Rachel Nichols as Gaila in "Star Trek," from Historyguy.com [Fair use]We know there is life on earth that can exist without liquid water, or even oxygen. It’s kind of a leap to assume that all life needs liquid water, although every mechanism of evolution that we know of required liquid water at some point. It also doesn’t help that no one has ever come up with a clear, concise definition of “life” in a biological sense (cf. viruses). Alien life is highly unlikely to be anywhere near our level of technological advancement, and is most likely to be microbial. Aliens certainly won’t look anything like Rachel Nichols. Won’t that be a disappointment?

Getting back to the number of planets, keep in mind that this is only about the Milky Way galaxy, which is one of at least a hundred billion galaxies in the known universe. That’s potentially (I think this is the scientific term) a shitload of planets. Unless we come up with some kind of wormhole or super-warp technology, though, we’ll never know very much about planets in other galaxies.

So this is exciting news. Just don’t get too carried away with it.

On the other hand, we could just send James Cameron to look for other planets. That guy goes everywhere.

Photo credits: Artist’s conception of the Gliese 581 system by Lynette Cook, via NASA; Rachel Nichols as Gaila in “Star Trek,” from Historyguy.com [Fair use]

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At this point, let’s call it an invasion

Unwelcome guest

You are not welcome in my home

Seriously, what are these giant mosquito-looking bugs??? They are everywhere, not just in Austin, but apparently all over Texas. I can’t walk through my front door without a few coming in with me. They have turned my entire backyard into a breeding ground–if insects had their own pornography, my backyard is their Van Nuys.

A Google search for “giant mosquitoes in Austin” turned up nothing. I’m not even sure what to call them, since “giant mosquito-things” gets old after a while. According to Wikipedia, they might be crane flies, part of a very large family of insects that shares a suborder with mosquitoes.

Crane Fly Porn

If there is an equivalent sexual position for humans, I do not know what it is.

They are also quite fearless. Or just very stupid. As I sit at my desk trying to work, at least one lands on me every 20-30 minutes or so. I assume all the recent rain has brought them out in droves. I also know that they eat mosquito larvae. Or mosquitoes. Or something that we would prefer be eaten. In the winter absence of the bats, I welcome that. Just please, stay out of my house. And stop landing on my nose when I’m trying to go to sleep.

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Classic joke of the day


Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr. Watson a nudge. “Watson,” he says, “look up in the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions of stars, Holmes,” says Watson.

“And what do you conclude from that, Watson?”

Watson thinks for a moment, “Well,” he says, “astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and we are small and insignificant. Uh, what does that tell you, Holmes?”

“Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!”

h/t Mitch Ditkoff

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