Save the environment–throw a water balloon!

Posted on August 6, 2007 by wellsdc

I purchased some provisions at my neighborhood Target the other day, and something stuck in my mind. There is generally no “paper or plastic” option at Target, so I went with plastic. I noticed the following ambiguously helpful list on the side of the bag:

10 WAYS TO REUSE YOUR TARGET BAG

1. Tiny Trashcan Liner

2. Doggy Duty

3. Water Balloon

4. Roadtrip Rubbish

5. Soggy Laundry

6. Ice Pack for Head Lump

7. Toiletry Tote

8. Kitty Litter Liner

9. Tomorrow’s Lunchbag

10. Care Package Padding

Some of these are very good suggestions, while some are a bit odd.

1. Tiny Trashcan Liner – True, it beats buying brand new trashbags. I use shopping bags for my bathroom trash can, so I have the peace of mind that my dirty Kleenex will be safe in a polyethylene cocoon for a long, long time.

2. Doggy Duty – What’s up with the alliteration? Still, I can think of no better place to dispose of my dog’s disgusting daily dookie.

3. Water Balloon – WTF? First off, how? Second, why? Third, how does this help anything???

4. Roadtrip Rubbish – Nice alliteration. See #1 above.

5. Soggy Laundry – Is this to lock in the moisture, or to create a strain of super-intelligent mildew?

6. Ice Pack for Head Lump – Actually, this is a good idea, unless you turn around and use the melted ice as a water ballon.

7. Toiletry Tote – Huh?

8. Kitty Litter Liner – I have a better idea: put some litter in the bag, then put the cat in. Leave a hole when you tie the bag off, so the cat can breathe, then you have the problems of cat waste and shedding all contained in a single bag!

9. Tomorrow’s Lunchbag – I shouldn’t have to note that you should not use this option if you have already used the bag for item #8.

10. Care Package Padding – Uh, have you ever actually held one of these bags? They’re not exactly generous in the mass department. You would need a hell of a lot of them to pad anything at all valuable and/or breakable. Having that many of them would somewhat obviate the benefit of re-using them. Besides, then you’d be depriving your recipient the joy of perusing your local newspaper or playing with your bubble wrap, and that would be cruel.

In conclusion, readers, do your part to save the environment by finding the most alliterate use for your old plastic shopping bags. Happy hunting.

Dear Iraq insurgents…

Posted on August 6, 2007 by wellsdc

…when can America expect a thank-you note for our largesse?

The US military cannot account for 190,000 AK-47 assault rifles and pistols given to the Iraqi security forces, an official US report says.

The Government Accountability Office (GAO) says the Pentagon cannot track about 30% of the weapons distributed in Iraq over the past three years.

The Pentagon did not dispute the figures, but said it was reviewing arms deliveries procedures.

About $19.2bn has been spent by the US since 2003 on Iraqi security forces.

GAO, the investigative arm of the US Congress, said at least $2.8bn of this money was used to buy and deliver weapons and other equipment.

Correspondents say it is now feared many of the weapons are being used against US forces on the ground in Iraq.

I’m sure these 190,000 weapons were not intended as a gift, but you should still at least say thank you or send us some cookies.

Oh, and also, please stop killing people. I know, I know, we’re doing it too, but two wrongs hardly make a right, do they?

The Wisdom of Doubt

Posted on August 4, 2007 by wellsdc

Here’s the entire “Wisdom of Doubt” series from Mahablog. Good stuff.

Lots of fun at Makem’s wake

Posted on August 4, 2007 by wellsdc

I only just heard about the passing of Tommy Makem, the great Irish folk signer, via Jesus’ General, and I am enjoying the playlist he created in Mr. Makem’s honor. You may also enjoy my playlist, which is still something of a work-in-progress:

Bridge blues

Posted on August 3, 2007 by wellsdc

I was horrified and saddened to learn about the bridge collapse in Minnesota. This is actually the same highway I drive on several times a week, except it’s about 1,500 miles south of where the collapse occurred. While the collapse of one bridge does not automatically mean other bridges are in danger, this is as good a time as any to look at bridge safety overall. The picture is not pretty–according to Burnt Orange Report (using Federal Highway Authority reports), 193 bridges were rated as “structurally deficient” by the Department of Transportation in 2006. I’ve had a hard time making it through the 33-page report, so I don’t know if any of the six bridges I frequent made the list. I will eventually find out, but that’s not really the issue–all bridges should be routinely maintained and checked for safety standards. Tell your representatives.

Where I should be living…

Posted on July 30, 2007 by wellsdc

Downtown living ain’t easy, but some people are doing it with more style than others.

My philosophizing would be extra-Cryptic in these digs.

Slime in the ice machine no more

Posted on July 30, 2007 by wellsdc

As a former Houstonian, I ponder the passing of Marvin Zindler, the toupee-wearing, slime-in-the-ice-machine-exposing, Chicken-Ranch-closing weirdo of Houston’s Eyewitness News. No one will ever wear unnaturally-tinted sunglasses indoors the way you did.

Say it with me: Maaaaaaaaaaarvin Zindler, Eyyyyeeeeeeewiiitnessss Neeeeewwwwwsssss!!!!!!

America’s fucked-up priorities

Posted on July 29, 2007 by wellsdc

Just read this. Then get mad and say fuck. It won’t hurt anyone.

It’s not easy being red

Posted on July 29, 2007 by wellsdc

From Think Progress via HuffPo, Gonzo seems to have fewer and fewer friends lately:

[Fox News host] Chris Wallace revealed that no conservative would willingly defend Gonzales on Fox. “By the way, we invited White House officials and Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee to defend Attorney General Gonzales,” said Wallace. “We had no takers.”

Ah, sweet, sweet Schadenfreude.

Pharmacists sue to avoid having to do their jobs

Posted on July 28, 2007 by wellsdc

From the Department of Why’d You Become a Pharmacist Anyway? comes this story (actually the NYT via TFN):

SEATTLE (AP) — Pharmacists have sued Washington state over a new regulation that requires them to sell emergency contraception, also known as the “morning-after pill.”
In a lawsuit filed in federal court Wednesday, a pharmacy owner and two pharmacists say the rule that took effect Thursday violates their civil rights by forcing them into choosing between “their livelihoods and their deeply held religious and moral beliefs.”

***

Under the new state rule, pharmacists with personal objections to a drug can opt out by getting a co-worker to fill an order. But that applies only if the patient is able to get the prescription in the same pharmacy visit.

Sold as Plan B, emergency contraception is a high dose of the drug found in many regular birth-control pills. It can lower the risk of pregnancy by as much as 89 percent if taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex.

I’ll just ask a few questions that flow from logical extensions of what I presume to be the pharmacists’ reasoning. First question: can a pharmacist who is also a Christian Scientist refuse to dispense any medication, preferring prayer instead? Or how about this: If a pharmacist refuses to dispense Plan B to a woman who had been raped, and she ends up having to carry the child to term, can the pharmacist be held responsible for child support payments? I ask this because (1) presumably the child’s biological father would be in prison and therefore unable to make money for child support, and (2) most state laws put a child’s best interests over the interests of the parents or other responsible parties and someone has to support the child.

Or is it just that life begins at conception and ends at birth for these pharmacists?

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