Some people don’t like to be groped by strangers. Possibly most people. Some people, upon being groped, have the nerve to demand better treatment than that. In today’s world of constant vigilance pants-wetting fear, that cannot stand. One woman in Florida wondered how government agents would like it if we groped them.
The agent she allegedly groped did not like it one bit, and now the woman faces a misdemeanor battery charge.
Considering we are dealing with an agency that pats down cancer survivorsafter scanning them, and whose agents might threaten to sue you if you dare speak out about your groping, this should not be too surprising.
What makes this story slightly more interesting is that the woman is a former TSA agent herself, and she knew the “victim” of her groping demonstration: Continue reading →
Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas) may rail against Social Security insolvency in the public eye, but that hasn’t stopped him from accepting the government checks.
The libertarian-leaning Republican and former presidential candidate admitted Wednesday that he accepts Social Security checks just minutes after he called for younger generations to wean themselves off the program, in an interview on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.”
I enjoy a good zombie movie as much as the next four or five people, but something is really starting to bother me. If the Umbrella Corporation’s goal is global dominance, they chose an ungainly way of doing it. Their schemes put the needlessly-complex terror plots of “24” to shame.
They are obviously not motivated by anything as mundane as profit, because nearly all of the human race–perhaps better known as customers–are either dead or bloodthirsty zombies. I am not an economist, but as far as I know dead people and zombies do not spend money on consumer products. Nor do they invest in markets. Nor do they power an economy in a way that would enable financiers to profit.
Umbrella obviously expects to gain from this somehow. Or, the whole movie franchise is just a series of excuses to showcase Milla Jovovich kicking the crap out of monsters in a hottifiedway. I don’t have a problem with that at all, except that sometimes I wish they would just be honest.
Another example would be Underworld: Evolution, which built on an intriguing premise of an ages-old feud between vampires and “lycans” (werewolves) in Underworld. The sequel was mostly an incoherent gore fest, with Tony Curran‘s vampire leader running around killing everything in sight for no reason, and Kate Beckinsale…
Who remembers something that happened in the world of American politics fifteen months ago? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Most voters can’t remember what politicians said or did back when they started reading this sentence. This forgetfulness accounts for about one hundred and twelve percent of Republicans’ electoral successes since at least 1996. It’s almost enough to–SQUIRREL!!!
Republicans in Michigan don’t like the word VAGINA. They dislike it so much that they barred the woman who uttered it, a Democratic state representative, from speaking on the House floor for as long as they feel like it. Presumably until she’s learned her lesson.
House Republicans prohibited state Rep. Lisa Brown from speaking on the floor Thursday after she ended a speech Wednesday against a bill restricting abortions by referencing her female anatomy.
Brown, a West Bloomfield Democrat and mother of three, said a package of abortion regulation bills would violate her Jewish religious beliefs and that abortions be be allowed in cases where it is required to save the life of the mother.
“Finally, Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no,'” Brown said Wednesday.
Brown’s comment prompted a rebuke Thursday by House Republicans, who wouldn’t allow her to voice her opinion on a school employee retirement bill.
“What she said was offensive,” said Rep. Mike Callton, R-Nashville. “It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.”
House Republicans also wouldn’t let state Rep. Barb Byrum speak on the House floor today.
Byrum, D-Onondaga, caused a disturbance on the House floor Wednesday when she wasn’t allowed to introduce an amendment to the abortion regulations bill banning men from getting a vasectomy unless the sterilization procedure was necessary to save a man’s life.
“If we truly want to make sure children are born, we would regulate vasectomies,” Byrum told reporters Thursday.
Now, to be fair, a Republican spokesperson later said the impetus for banning Rep. Brown was that she made a rape reference (“no means no”) that Republicans though breached the decorum of the House. They really should have checked with Rep. Callton before dragging that one out.
The internet, being the predictably unpredictably beast that it is, responded to Michigan Republicans’ unease over accurate medical terminology and whatnot with a barrage of VAGINA-related comments and post, to the point that the Michigan Republican Party’s Facebook page administrator had to ask for calm.
I could list all the reasons why I think squid, octopi, and cuttlefish are fascinating and awesome (almost forgot nautili!), but that would deprive you of the joy of discovering the information on your own. Also, I’m lazy. Instead, I want to address the three principle reasons why I eschew any and all culinary adaptations of our cephalopod brothers and sisters:
1. They’re very smart. I feel guilty eating them. Also, their intelligence is not offset by their deliciousness, as is the case with bacon.
A 63-year-old Korean woman who was dining on boiled squid was horrified to discover that sperm from the squid had painfully stuck to her tongue and cheeks.
“She did not swallow the portion, but spat it out immediately. She complained of a pricking and foreign-body sensation in the oral cavity. Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa,” the article abstract states.
“On the basis of their morphology and the presence of the sperm bag, the foreign bodies were identified as squid spermatophores.”
Squid A Day notes that the squid’s internal organs are normally removed when the squid is prepared for a dish, so this is not something the average consumer should have to worry about. When diners orders squid in a restaurant, they are typically served only edible parts, such as the cleaned tentacles and body sac.
And while the incident with this woman is creepy, painful and weird, it’s not entirely without precedent. A report from NCBI in 2011 gave a similar case of squid spermatophores stinging a person’s mouth, but that occurred after the person was eating raw squid. Again, it would seem as if the squid had not been properly prepared for consumption.
Interestingly, the site also says that squid spermatophores are perfectly safe to handle, as they are not powerful enough to stick to the outside of the human body.
Ponder that the next time you think about ordering some calamari.
It’s the U.S. Army’s 237th anniversary, and what better way to celebrate than with food?
Admittedly, the military and gourmet chow don’t go hand in hand. Hard to imagine partygoers munching on MREs, hardtack and cream chipped beef on toast (known to some as “#$%@ on a shingle”).
So imagine our surprise when the folks at Georgetown Cupcake, the cupcakery featured on the TLC series “DC Cupcakes,” dropped by the Pentagon this morning to show Army brass their latest creation – a one-ton, life-size Army tank made up of 5,000 cupcakes and at least 200 pounds of camouflage fondant. Not only that, but the tank can shoot actual cupcakes from its cannon!
Estimates of the total cupcakeage range from 3,000 to 6,500 total cupcakes. It appears that no tax dollars went into creating this delicious monstrosity, so funding for more bombers is probably safe. If purchased by the dozen from the donating business establishment, the cupcake content of this tank alone would have a street value between $7,250 and $15,708.33.
Meanwhile, In New York City:
U.S. Army Chief of Staff Gen. Raymond Odierno cuts a cake marking the Army’s 237th anniversary on June 14, 2012 in Times Square in New York City. Odierno was joined by fellow Army troops as he swore in 16 new recruits in a ceremony celebrating the Army’s birthday. ”Cake Boss” reality show Buddy Valastro (R), helped Odierno cut the 500 pound cake in the shape of a tank, which Valastro said took 8 of his staff three days to prepare for the event. Photo: John Moore, Getty Images / 2012 Getty Images (via Houston Chronicle)
I’m not even going to try to guess what that cost.
I don’t care who your target is: you are wasting oxygen, and it is highly likely that your original genetic material would have been better served as the contents of a flushed condom. I am specifically referring to the dipshits currently threatening the guy who got George Zimmerman’s old phone number. I am hardly one of Zimmerman’s fans, so I hope this serves as evidence that I condemn death threats sent to anybody. The following advice applies to anyone who would seek to threaten people in such a way: please stop using biomass immediately. This is not a death threat, because I have no interest in being anywhere near you, nor would you be worth the effort, whoever you are.
The internet and social media have enabled people of differing viewpoints to talk past one another more now than at any other point in human history. As I have embarked on rants, arguments, and tête-à-têtes of various degrees of interestingness via Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and various blogs, I have learned far more than I ever wanted about the sorts of logical gymnastics that people, myself included, will undertake to reach or support their desired conclusion.
My personal favorites, which I seem to encounter quite often, and of some of which I have no doubt been guilty myself, are:
Tu quoque: This could be summarized as “I am not going to address your criticism of my position, because you (or someone aligned with you) has done the same thing! So there!” It has the effect of putting the other person on the defensive amd deflecting the original argument, all without actually arguing anything. It is a painfully weak, and fallacious, argument, because the implication is that the other person is similarly or equally culpable–thus assuming that the subject of the argument, whatever it may be, actually is wrong somehow. The correct response to this is something like “I recall how angry you were when my side did it, so you must be furious now that your side is engaging in this behavior as well.”
Ad hominem: This one is very misunderstood. People seem to think that any attack on a person’s character, past behavior, or whatever is a fallacious ad hominem argument, but that’s wrong. It becomes fallacious when the personal attack is logically irrelevant to the argument. Compare “You are not an authority on ‘traditional family values’ because you are a serial adulterer three times divorced” to “Your opinion on this issue is irrelevant because you used to do drugs.”
Slippery slope: “If we allow gays to get married, soon we will have to allow people to marry their dogs or their sofa!!!!1!1!!!!” This type or argument is popular among people who cannot tell the difference between a consenting adult human, a companion canine, and furniture. (Note that this type of argument is not always fallacious, but often serves to support some mind-numbingly dumb ideas.)
No True Scotsman: Here, it is worth reciting the original text of the argument:
Scotsman A: You know, laddie, no Scotsman puts sugar in his porridge.
Scotsman B: Is that so? I seem to recall my cousin Angus (who is from Scotland) puts sugar in his porridge.
Scotsman A: Aye… but no true Scotsman puts sugar in his porridge.
See, e.g., Bill O’Reilly’s stubborn refusal to accept that mass-murdering Norweigian Christian extremist Anders Breivik is a “true Christian.”
We now have an excellent set of real-world examples of some of these fallacies in action, relating to the news of Kentucky Senator Rand Paul’s endorsement of Mitt Romney for president, courtesy of the Libertarian Party (h/t Zandar):
When Dr. Rand Paul ran for U.S. Senate in Kentucky, many of his fund-raising appeals were sent to the donors and supporters of his father, Congressman Ron Paul. They were designed to convince Ron’s supporters that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. That Rand was, like his legendary father, a steadfast champion of liberty.
But no true libertarian, no true friend of liberty, and no true blue Tea Partier could possibly even consider, much less actually endorse or approve of, the Father of Obamacare, Big Government tax and spender, Republican Mitt Romney.
Especially the son of Ron Paul, who has no excuse.
Especially a medical doctor, who has even fewer excuses.
See if you can spot them all!
Here endeth the lesson. Now learn how to argue a point and stop wasting my time.
As we all know, sort-of Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin, who now owns a bit over $3 billion in Facebook stock, renounced his U.S. citizenship from his new digs in Singapore. Whether he did this to avoid paying U.S. taxes on his windfall is a matter of dispute. I suppose it is possible that the timing was coincidental.
Not everyone is buying it, though. Two senators have introduced a bill, cleverly (if awkwardly) titled the Ex-PATRIOT Act, that would build on existing immigration law that makes people who renounce their citizenship to avoid taxes inadmissible to re-enter the country. The bill would create a presumption of intent to avoid taxes if a person with a net worth above a certain amount renounces citizenship.
There may or may not be constitutional problems with that, and while I’m not thrilled with the bill itself, I’m far less thrilled with Saverin’s defenders. Americans generally enjoy the freedom to travel where they will (thank you, U.S. Supreme Court). The thing is, if you renounce your citizenship, you are no longer an American, by your own choice.
That’s what makes Bill Bonner’s piece at the Christian Science Monitor, in which he extols the basic human right to travel, so unintentionally hilarious. He thinks that we should leave Mr. Saverin alone, and he cites various important historical statements of rights to support the thesis that Mr. Saverin should be able to go where he likes. Regardless of the provisions of the Ex-PATRIOT Act, this is absurd.
It shall be lawful to any person, for the future, to go out of our kingdom, and to return, safely and securely, by land or by water, saving his allegiance to us, unless it be in time of war, for some short space, for the common good of the kingdom: excepting prisoners and outlaws, according to the laws of the land…
Emphasis added, for reasons that I will make clear soon if you can’t figure it out for yourself. Continue reading →
!['Hyena vs ass' by Schillings, Karl Georg, 1865-1921; Johnston, Harry Hamilton, Sir, 1858-1927 [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](http://crypticphilosopher.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Hyena_vs_ass-300x223.png "'Hyena vs ass' by Schillings, Karl Georg, 1865-1921; Johnston, Harry Hamilton, Sir, 1858-1927 [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons")
1. 
!['Eastern Grey Squirrel (Sciurus carolinensis) in Florida' by BirdPhotos.com (BirdPhotos.com) [CC-BY-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons](http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Eastern_Grey_Squirrel.jpg "'Eastern Grey Squirrel (Sciurus carolinensis) in Florida' by BirdPhotos.com (BirdPhotos.com) [CC-BY-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons")
!['Octopus shell' by Nick Hobgood (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons](http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Octopus_shell.jpg "'Octopus shell' by Nick Hobgood (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons")
!['John, Magna Carta' By unknown, held by The Granger Collection, New York (Britannia.com) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:John,_Magna_Carta.jpg "'John, Magna Carta' By unknown, held by The Granger Collection, New York (Britannia.com) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons")