Strangest image ever:
Think about it…
Since it’s easier to link to other people’s writing than to come up with an entirely original piece of writing, I will let Larry Gelbart express my feeling about presidential jokes:
He has the flexibility of an I-beam combined with the IQ of a houseplant, and I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep shaking my tiny little fist, employing whatever is left of my wits and my wit to point out that not only is the emperor naked, but that his new clothes come with two pair of pants.
Writing jokes about him has become far too easy. This messianic miscreant is much too convenient a straight line — a line that is surely leading him — a whole lot of dutifully blogging stragglers in tow — even further into a hell which we all stood by and watched him create, while we continued to fire our funny bullets at him.
I suppose I should note, for my part, that “funny bullets” is purely metaphorical.
Just read it. It’s gold.
But he has a secret…
He is the squirrel.
If one is to believe certain rhetoric, we were attacked on September 11, 2001, because of the excesses of American culture–specifically the parts of thge culture right-wingers don’t like. Now, it would seem that the best way to remove the threat of terrorism is to eliminate those parts of the culture that right-wingers don’t like. Admittedly, I haven’t read Dinesh D’Souza’s new book (I’ll stop by Book People one day and read it in store, so I don’t have to pay money for it), but that seems to be the logical conclusion of what I believe to be his thesis. Never mind that, if you talk to anyone who knows anything about the situation in the Middle East and Central Asia, you would likely find out that our culture is the least of their concerns.
I think the key concept to take from all this, though, is that the goals of many homegrown conservatives and the goals they impute to “the terrorists” are disturbingly similar, if not one and the same. That they can suggest that Americans themselves (ones they, coincidentally, have been railing against for some time) are to blame for America’s woes while their Chief Necromonger can go on TV and say this:
But the biggest problem we face right now is the danger that the United States will validate the terrorist’s [sic] strategy, that in fact what will happen here, with all of the debate over whether or not we ought to stay in Iraq, with the pressure from some quarters to get out of Iraq, if we were to do that, we would simply validate the terrorist’s strategy that says the Americans will not stay to complete the task…
Let me play a little logic game here, so keep in mind that I am not particularly advocating anything, just playing. In Cheney’s worldview, withdrawal from Iraq would “validate the terrorists’ strategy,” presumably because they want the U.S. to withdraw. The only course of action, therefore, is to pour more troops into Iraq–that sure will invalidate their strategy, won’t it? If they keep fighting, we’ll just keep sending more and more troops in.
Now, then, let us also take D’Souza’s suggestion that our “decadent American culture” has caused terrorists to seek to attack us. Ordinarily, my understanding of the right’s game plan is to reduce what they see as decadent (and I will just ad lib a bit here): profanity, sex education, drugs, pornography, the acceptance of any sexual relationship besides something you would allow your grandmother to watch, etc. However, if we accept D’Souza’s premises about the cause of terrorism against Americans, and Cheney’s idea about the best way to fight against their tactics (and if we accept many conservatives’ utter inability/refusal to distinguish between al Qaeda and the Iraqi insurgency), shouldn’t we be encouraging the “decadent American culture” to go whole hog? Cracking down on porn, or banning gay marriage, for example, only emboldens the enemy. Let’s not “validate the terrorists’ strategy” by giving them what they want. I say bring on the decadence!!! Conservatives demand it of you.
From a recent post by Gina Cobb:
What we have here — and we will miss it when it is gone — is a president whose kindness is not rationed out in proportion to the decency of his rivals. In his prepared speeches, he makes a conscious choice to speak as kindly of his rivals as is humanly possible. His graciousness is more noticeable when the vitriol from his rivals reaches its apex — or at a time when his approval rating seems to be in free fall. What we have here is a decent man who takes the dignity and responsibility of the presidency seriously.
Hmmm, let’s review…
President Bush said terrorists will win if Democrats win and impose their policies on Iraq, as he and Vice President Cheney escalated their rhetoric Monday in an effort to turn out Republican voters in next week’s midterm elections.
From Tucker Carlson in 1999:
In the week before [Karla Faye Tucker's] execution, Bush says, Bianca Jagger and a number of other protesters came to Austin to demand clemency for Tucker. “Did you meet with any of them?” I ask.
Bush whips around and stares at me. “No, I didn’t meet with any of them,” he snaps, as though I’ve just asked the dumbest, most offensive question ever posed. “I didn’t meet with Larry King either when he came down for it. I watched his interview with [Tucker], though. He asked her real difficult questions, like ‘What would you say to Governor Bush?’ “
“What was her answer?” I wonder.
“Please,” Bush whimpers, his lips pursed in mock desperation, “don’t kill me.”
Now, of course, Karla Faye Tucker was not a “rival” as described in the original quote above. Nevertheless, this is a president who can no longer express a single concept without an infuriating smirk. Despite one moment that might have once been described as “presidential,” this president probably wouldn’t know gravitas if it came up and bit him somewhere sensitive.
I suppose someone who desperately wants to see decency in the man can find examples to prove their point, just as I can find examples to prove the opposite. But can anyone find a recent example of something decent he has done? Something meaningful, so the Ashley Faulkner incident does not count. Sure, it was a nice thing to do, but I am more interested in what he has done to make things right.
The other day, I posted about sexy baristas in Seattle, and I figured it was a random bit of news I stumbled across. Now I see this thing about sexy tutors in Hong Kong–again, I suppose I feel it is my duty to point these things out to the general public. It’s just that I think I last saw this as a bad joke in a movie (NOTE: I’m only linking to the clip referenced here–it’s too NC-17 for our younger readers.)
Apparently no one showed up for this Odessa information session on its abstinence-only sex “ed” program. I guess I can’t read too much into this, as the article does not provide much in the way of context, but it’s still quite amusing.