Memo to Democrats: Stop being wusses

Dear Democrats (you know who you are):

The election is a long way away, and yet you seem to already be fretting about how mean the Repubs are going to be to you if Hillary or–gasp–Al Gore gets the nomination and makes electioneering that much more of a challenge. First off, the Repubs aren’t exactly awash in popularity right now. Second, it’s not like you don’t have a lot of time between now and the election to, you know, campaign. It has been pointed out so many times that my head hurts that the Repubs’ use of fear, and fear alone, as a campaign strategy is only effective if you let it be effective. Now quit your damn whining and start doing something, or else I’m going to start an American offshoot of Poland’s Beer Lovers’ Party, and we’re going to win us some elections.

Sincerely,
CP, Esq.

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"Unnecessary ‘quotation’ marks"

I find the “blog” of “unnecessary” quotation marks to be a fund diversion (h/t Orin Kerr).

A somewhat moronic pastime for my friends and me during periods of drunkenness in college was to put unnecessary “finger quotes” around literal phrases (e.g. After your date, do you plan on having “sexual intercourse?”)

Yes, we were dorks. Still, it’s “nice” to see the tradition “continued.”

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His journey to unintentional self-parody is complete

I think I will start a whole separate category for making fun of Bill O’Reilly, because he makes it so dang easy. First he was warning us of roving gangs of lesbians, and now here is a humorous deconstruction of how he may be stiffening his loofah for Matt Damon. The jokes write themselves, I tell you.

UPDATE, March 2, 2012: I don’t have some of those categories anymore since I switched blog platforms.

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The sins of the father

It seems Bush the Elder, awash in criticism of Bush the Lesser, is sad about the whole affair. I say suck it up and reap what you have sown–I second the thoughts offered by No More Mr. Nice Blog, who clearly had more coffee in his system when he wrote his post.

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No good deed goes unpunished

This was strange cognitive dissonance. An op/ed from a Californian appears today, discussing the kindness of Texans, including one who stopped to render aid when his hippie-mobile (sorry, Prius) broke down by the side of the road. Then there is an article about a shootout that killed three people in Dallas–two people stopped to help what they thought was a motorist who had just had a wreck, but then said motorist shot both of them and killed himself.

There’s really no point to this post, other than to say it’s a fucked-up world, and most Texans really are very nice.

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One, two, Freddie [Phelps] is coming for you…

I was just reading about a Dallas-area megachurch that is refusing to bury a gay man (and Gulf War veteran) now that they know he was gay:

“We did decline to host the service – not based on hatred, not based on discrimination, but based on principle,” [the church’s pastor, the Rev. Gary] Simons told The Associated Press. “Had we known it on the day they first spoke about it – yes, we would have declined then. It’s not that we didn’t love the family.”

What, you might ask, does this have to do with the shame of Topeka, Kansas? I am coming to believe that, to an outside observer, any ideology is only as good as its worst practitioner. By that I mean that the merits of a religion, political theory, or other worldview or ideology must be judged by its worst possible application. Marxism might have sounded okay at one time on paper, but then it yielded Lenin, and, well, pretty much every communist shithead to come after him. To use a contemporary, local example, American-style Democracy (at least the way it is described by the Bush administration) may be dipping in global popularity, probably due to widespread cognitive dissonance brought on by the administration’s words and actions. We, as Americans, may have a pretty good view of democracy, at least as compared to life in North Korea, since we have lived with it, and generally haven’t been waterboarded, for all of our lives. Much of the rest of the world is under no obligation to ignore what America is actually doing in the world and to drink the democracy Kool-Aid Bush/Cheney is serving.

Getting back to my original point (since I at least take it as axiomatic that Bush/Cheney is an undemocratic thug), a common refrain among many Christians is that homosexuality is a sin that should be discouraged as much as possible. Really, the logical application of this belief is to discourage it at every turn–God’s retribution would be quite widespread, wouldn’t it?. By the same token, of course, all other sins should be equally discouraged, but then there would hardly be any time to find food and shelter. The Dallas megachurch is really just a tamer example of Rev. Freddie’s hobby. Rev. Freddie seems to have concluded that the whole world is going to hell and it is his job to constantly remind us of that, and he is doing it in the name of God, Christ, and all Christians, whether they realize/like it or not.

Speaking as a Non-Practicing Atheist and Recovering Christian, I’m hardly in an ideal position to respond to Rev. Freddie, but I will say this: his actions soil the image of Christianity and Christians everywhere, much as Islam is sullied by terror and Hinduism is tarnished by naitonalism in India (don’t even get me started on Israel and anti-Semitism). Christians everywhere need to put up or shut up–you support Rev. Freddie, you oppose him, or there is a more–gasp–nuanced view of this whole issue.

I do have something to say directly to Rev. Freddie, though, because I think the bulk of his power comes from the simple fact that he gets so damn much attention (I admit guilt to this as well, obviously):

I know you too well now, Freddie…It’s too late…I know the secret now — this is just a dream, too — you’re not alive — the whole thing is a dream — so fuck off! I want my mother and friends again. I take back every bit of energy I ever gave you. You’re nothing. You’re shit.

Okay, so that’s from the speech Nancy gives to Freddie Krueger at the end of Nightmare on Elm Street, but I think the principle is the same.

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Hey, if America can do it…

Zimbabwe. Not the number one place you think of for political freedom. Now their new warrantless wiretapping law has as its justification…wait for it…the U.S. warrantless wiretapping law!!!

How proud we should be.

Fuck.

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I crown thee King of the Understatement

Rudy G., who may very well be able to fellate himself soon (at least politically speaking), had this to say about himself:

“I was at ground zero as often, if not more, than most of the workers. … I was there working with them. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to. So in that sense, I’m one of them.”

Michael Palladino, head of the Detectives Endowment Association, the union of NYPD detectives, had this to say in response:

“As a result of their hard work, many are sick and injured. The mayor, although he did a fine job with 9/11, I don’t think he rises to the level of being an equal with those men and women who were involved in the rescue, recovery and cleanup.”

Shorter version: no you are not. Delightfully understated, I say.

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