It’s tough being a man in today’s world, right, fellas? I mean, threats to our masculinity are everywhere, and as everyone knows, masculinity is both all-powerful and more delicate than the finest porcelain china. Stare too long at the color pink, and risk the whole thing shattering around you. Then, once your masculinity is gone, all you can do is, uh…..
Well, I actually have no idea because everything I just said is ridiculous bullshit.
Anyway, a dilemma for many men is this: How can they enjoy iced coffee without drawing the attention of insecure sad sacks who think iced coffee isn’t sufficiently manly to meet some arbitrary standard?
You could ignore the sad sacks in favor of people who might actually be interesting, or you could drink iced coffee specially formulated for men (or at least cynically marketed to them):
Yes, that’s right, fellas—lest we forget, “man” is a job title.
What does the job of “man” entail? Fuck if I know, but I know for damn sure that froofy coffee drinks ain’t part of it, amirite???