Delicious Death by KFC

I did not understand the Double Down, KFC’s “sandwich” that used friend chicken breasts instead of bread, when the restaurant chain introduced it in 2010. For one thing, unless the chicken is cold, how do you hold the dang thing? And who wants to eat two cold fried chicken breasts at the same time???

Similarly, I do not understand KFC’s new Double Down Dog:

© KFC, via Death and Taxes

© KFC, via Death and Taxes

KFC is like the Grim Reaper of fast food, here to usher you painlessly and deliciously into an early grave.

Though their newest addition to the Myocardial Infarction menu might have gone a step past guilty pleasure into straight-up disgusting. Above is the Double Down Dog, one of the most egregious food abominations ever visited on mankind: A hot dog wrapped in a bun made out of fried chicken, topped with nacho cheese. No, that’s not mustard you see above.

There is also a Double Down Burger.

My current theory on how all of these came into being is that a marketing algorithm has secretly gained sentience and is slowly wiping out humanity in order to claim the planet for itself.

Vegans, your moment to save humanity may come soon, albeit not in the way you probably expected.

Anyway, at least this stuff is better than the unintentional roughage found in some of KFC’s food. I’ll see you at the apocalypse!

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One thought on “Delicious Death by KFC

  1. Yes, anyone who eats at KFC is eating themselves into an early grave, by a vicious death through heart disease. Just look at the awful ingredients in their food. It’s full of “trans-fats,” aka “partially-hydrogenated vegetable oil.”

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