I’ve posted this video before, but I thought I’d offer it again for anyone experiencing any anxiety or angst about Valentine’s Day.

The song is, obviously, “Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me” by the Australian band TISM.

My favorite part comes right after the bridge:

Our lives have to die
Of that there’s no help
My favourite way to end them
Is the orb-weaver spider’s whose pedipalp
Enters the female pudendum.

Then dies on the spot
His corpse there still stuck,
Left for his rivals to curse at.
He would rather die than not get to f^ck
Personally I reckon it’s worth it.

That’s, uh, bleak.

Now that we have the angst out of the way, I recommend following The Oatmeal’s advice:

In that spirit, here’s a good sexy rumpus song. Sort of.

In case you’re wondering, the dwarf mime is not Peter Dinklage.