10 Things Old White Republicans Can Do Instead of Trying to Pass Anti-Choice Legislation

Old white Republicans seem to have quite a bit of time on their hands, and they seem to think passing anti-choice legislation is a good way to pass the time. I thought I’d offer some tips on things they could do instead. (h/t to Jen for the idea.)

1. Shuffleboard.

file000504567877

2. Contra. Not the Nicaraguan guerrilla group—I’m talking about the 1980’s Nintendo classic. (Psst! There’s a secret code that can get you nearly unlimited lives. If you promise to stop trying to pass all this restrictive legislation, I’ll tell you what the code is.)

© 1988 Konami

© 1988 Konami

3. Duck hunting. This can be accomplished with the Nintendo or in real life.

file000700947736

4. Ensuring the people have access to affordable contraception.

file0001913270767

5. Arm wrestling. 

800px-Armwrestle

6. Fly fishing.

file0001047486975

7. Building a ship in a bottle.

800px-Bateau_en_bouteille

8. Southern-style cooking (I hear there’s a vacancy in the Southern-style cooking TV show market coming up.)

file8151332600640

9. Guaranteeing adequate and effective sex education.

How_To_Put_on_a_Condom_graphic

10. Retiring.

file6431234669588

Here are a few things you should not do instead of trying to pass restrictive anti-choice legislation:

1. Constitutional amendments that involve marriage.

file000353140187

2. Starting your own pornography company.

Picture_Not_Yet_Available

3. Drone strikes.

800px-Predator_Drone_021

Photo credits: jimb from morguefile.com; ‘Contra’ © 1988 Konami, via Wikipedia; nasirkhan from morguefile.com; jppi from morguefile.com; Bombadil77 [GFDL, CC BY-SA 3.0, CC BY 2.5], via Wikimedia Commons; seriousfun from morguefile.com; Remi Jouan (Photo taken by Remi Jouan) [GFDL, CC-BY-SA-3.0 or CC-BY-SA-2.5-2.0-1.0], via Wikimedia Commons; LifeisGood from morguefile.com; Katherin Parker Bryden (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons; Seemann from morguefile.com; sullivan from morguefile.com; Mkey (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons; US Air Force (http://www.noaanews.noaa.gov/stories2005/s2421.htm) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Share

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *