– A man apparently trying to create a new Bigfoot hoax was struck and killed by two cars along a highway in northwestern Montana. He was standing on the side of the road in a ghillie suit, a military camouflage suit that sort of made him look like foliage.

– A debt collector wouldn’t stop calling an alleged debtor at her place of work. She works at the Texas fast-food chain Whataburger. As we now know, you do not f*** with Whataburger.

Everyone hates harassing calls from unrelenting debt collectors, even the folks at Whataburger Restaurants.

Exasperated officials at the San Antonio-based burger chain have gone to court in an attempt to stop persistent collections calls made to its corporate headquarters to get an unidentified employee to pay up on a debt allegedly owed.

Whataburger last week sued NCO Financial Systems, saying the collection efforts of one of the nation’s largest debt collectors “amount to a campaign of harassment against Whataburger that is unreasonable … and reckless.”

– Speaking of fast food, a Canadian woman is angry because a Dairy Queen in Alberta allegedly sold her daughter a “rancid” hot dog with a moldy bun, and now isn’t saying it’s sorry enough. Dairy Queen says it sent her $100 in gift certificates and an apology, and it insists it was an “isolated incident.” This makes me very curious to know how they store their buns in Alberta, but I think I’ll just let this one go.

– A San Francisco police officer has been suspended because the powers that be disapprove of his hobby, which involves artistic photography of nude women dressed as mermaids, sorceresses, etc. I suspect the department is just worried that they have a nerd on their hands.

– After she got a particularly nasty sunburn on her rear end, the boyfriend of a Bethlehem, Pennsylvania woman probably shouldn’t have swatted her there. You know, because it’s not nice. Also, because the sunburned-and-swatted person might fly into a rage and try to stab you in the chest repeatedly with a kitchen knife. Fair warning.

– Fox News outed one of the guys who killed Osama bin Laden, and al-Qaeda noticed. Hooray patriotism, you jackasses.

– Police in Adelaide, Australia arrested a couple and fined them $4,000 after receiving multiple complaints of their excessively loud sexytimes.

– Woman shoots at skunk, hits husband. I think the headline can stand alone.

– A judge in England has banned a repeat sex offender from having “one-night stands” without first running it by his probation officer:

A judge has banned a dangerous sex offender from having “one-night-stands” because of his violent history towards women.

Richard Ford, 41, from New Road, Croxley Green, was told by Judge John Plumstead that he must refuse any “offers on a plate” as unsuspecting women would not be aware of his background.

***

“He is not allowed to take advantage of a one night stand offered on a plate by someone who doesn’t know his background. He is not allowed to form relationships until probation know who with. The choice is that or jail – hard luck.”

He ordered that Ford is not allowed to stay at a woman’s house, have a woman stay at his house, or stay elsewhere with a woman, unless the probation officer knows her name and address beforehand.

My only question here is how to enforce the order. Does this guy have a probation wingman that follows him everywhere? It seems like it would be cheaper to just put him in jail–England doesn’t have that pesky Eighth Amendment, after all.

– There are many ways to deal with the feeling of approaching a woman at a bar and getting shot down. This is not one of them:

Boulder police arrested a man who witnesses say approached a woman and when she rejected his advances, he urinated on her.

And with that, I’m out.

Photo credit: ‘AxelS mit Bushrag’ by Postmanleader (picture by Tekker) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.