Health, Preventive Surgery, Boobs, and Other Things That Are None of My Dang Beeswax

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Via thesuperficial.com

I gotta run. They’re doing a breast reduction on 3, and I want to get up there to try and stop it. You know what I’m talkin’ about!
Todd, Scrubs season 2 episode 15, “His Story”

So about Angelina Jolie’s preventive double mastectomy. The reaction seems to range from “this is none of my business” to “how very brave of her” to “NOOOOOOOOO, BOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!!!!!!!” To one degree or another, these are all fair reactions.

None of My Business: This is by far the best reaction, because people’s personal medical decisions should be just that—personal. Still, Angelina Jolie has lived much of her life in the public eye, and whether she likes it or not, people will take notice of her decisions.

Courage: Angelina Jolie is not like most famous people in Hollywood. I’ve never quite been able to put what I mean in words, and I’m not sure anyone else has either. She is beyond doubt a talented actress and an all-around good human being, but she brings something to all of her movies that overpowers everyone and everything else on screen. This manages to make even her not-very-good movies (e.g. Taking Lives) memorable, and makes her the most noticeable part of movies where she plays a bit part (e.g. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.) Even when she’s doing something silly, people take notice en masse. It’s a unique combination of beauty and gravitas, for lack of a better description.

This makes her an ideal spokesperson for various causes, and she can’t seem to help but be a role model. Of course, much of the media attention she has received over the years has focused on her lips and other……attributes. She is and will still be a phenomenally beautiful woman, but there is a bold element to her decision. She may or may not have intended this, but she is basically daring people to assess whether this will affect her entertainment career.

Her mother died of cancer in 2007. She had an eighty-seven percent chance of developing breast cancer, a chance which is now much lower. She has six children, all of whom now have a greater chance of seeing their mother grow old.

Boobs: Let’s just say it. Angelina Jolie had fantastic breasts. I think it is okay to lament the world’s loss, given that it was, is, and will aways be a breast owner’s decision what to do with them. We may think of this as the loss of a great American treasure, but it is not the same as, say, the loss of the Old Man of the Mountain. That was a public trust. These were somebody’s body parts. Let us say no more about them, except to celebrate someone’s courage to take whatever control she could of her own health.

Wait, There’s More! Joe Patrice at Above the Law has a piece on the gene that led to Jolie’s decision, BRCA1. The only test capable of detecting the gene is patented, and therefore very expensive. This means that people like Jolie, who have resources, can get the test, while millions more cannot. Even after the Affordable Care Act takes full effect, “grandfathered” plans may not have to provide coverage for the test. This may change, though, when the U.S. Supreme Court rules on the issue of the patentability of human genes in a few months in Assoc. for Molecular Pathology v. Myriad Genetics, Inc.

And a Little More: It is impossible to Google Angelina Jolie’s name without quickly venturing into NSFW territory. Here’s an NSFW GIF of her taking off her shirt. Thanks for reading my blog.

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A Very NSFW Charity Campaign

The internet has brought a near-inifinte set of methods to raise money for charities. There are so many worthwhile charities in the world, it can be hard to decide where to contribute. Fortunately, the internet is here to propose clever solutions. As but one example, are you looking for a way to support breast cancer research? Do you not want to donate to Komen because of all that stuff they did? Do you like breasts in a possibly socially-inappropriate way? Via imgur, we have the following:

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For the month of October, PornHub is donating 1 cent for every 30 views from its big tit and small tit categories to breast cancer research.

Sure enough, if you go to PornHub’s Save the Boobs page (do I need to actually tell you these links are not-work-safe? Didn’t think so) you will find the above message. The total number of videos viewed (I’m not sure if that’s all videos or just the ones that directly contribute to the campaign) has already gone into octuple-digits (I’ve actually seen the number go up by more than 1,000 in the few minutes it has taken me to write this post). I’m kind of amazed more charities don’t do this.

The rub, of course (double entendre alert!) is this: where will they be donating the money that the viewers, ahem, raise? They don’t say. The page just says they will donate to “a breast cancer research charity.” As of the moment I’m writing this, the tally on the site says 11,766,918 (actually, it just went up again, but let’s stick with this number.) If they donate $0.01 for every thirty videos viewed, that would be a total of $3,922.31 so far. Not exactly overwhelming, but not nothing. Keep in mind, of course, that I am writing this at noon on Friday, October 5. If we assume the daily rate holds steady, that’s about 2,614,871 views per day. Over the month of October, that’s 81,061,001 views, for a total donation of $27,020.33. Considering this would all be accomplished without actually doing anything, that ain’t bad. Continue reading

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