Here are two bits of news that brightened my day, at least somewhat:

1. A former executive for the company that makes Enzyte has testified as to its total inefficacy, further noting as follows:

In some cases, company founder Steve Warshak required customers seeking a refund to get a notarized doctor’s note stating the pill had no effect. “He said it was extremely unlikely someone would get anything notarized saying they had a small penis,” testified James Teegarden Jr.

2. The Virginia General Assembly is considering a bill to outlaw “bumper nuts,” those scrotum replicas you see hanging from the bumpers of trucks owned by people who don’t have any friends. Urban Dictionary defines them as “prosthetic testicles used to adorn the oversized vehicles of those who think very highly of themselves.” Lest you worry about the First Amendment implications, read on:

Objects that resemble human genitalia would be banned from display on vehicles, under a bill proposed Tuesday by Del. Lionell Spruill Sr.

 

The accessories, sometimes called “bumper nuts,” often are found on the back of pickups.

 

“They’re offensive to some folks,” said Spruill, a Chesapeake Democrat. “It’s OK to express yourself, but citizens have the right not to be subjected to something vulgar.”

Remember, the legal standard for “obscenity” is if “when taken as a whole, [it] lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.” I don’t particularly support the bill, mostly on knee-jerk libertarian grounds, but I also don’t really worry that banning truck testicles is merely a gateway to substantially greater government control of speech.

I also don’t think it’s speech. It’s fake nuts hanging from a truck.