Dear Democrats (you know who you are):

The election is a long way away, and yet you seem to already be fretting about how mean the Repubs are going to be to you if Hillary or–gasp–Al Gore gets the nomination and makes electioneering that much more of a challenge. First off, the Repubs aren’t exactly awash in popularity right now. Second, it’s not like you don’t have a lot of time between now and the election to, you know, campaign. It has been pointed out so many times that my head hurts that the Repubs’ use of fear, and fear alone, as a campaign strategy is only effective if you let it be effective. Now quit your damn whining and start doing something, or else I’m going to start an American offshoot of Poland’s Beer Lovers’ Party, and we’re going to win us some elections.

Sincerely,
CP, Esq.