What I’m Reading, October 13, 2014

For Master Thieves, Legos Are the New Uncut Diamonds, Vocativ, Shane Dixon Kavanaugh, August 20, 2014

While Legos aren’t exactly uncut diamonds (they’re not nearly as portable), as far as untraceable commodities go, they’re almost as good. Thieves can sell unopened Lego sets, which are very difficult to track, almost immediately online for as much or more than the retail price. And if they sit on them for a while, it gets even better, because many of the bigger sets rapidly appreciate in value—at a rate much faster than inflation. In other words, they’re money in the bank.

Last week’s back-to-back busts underscore what appears to be a growing awareness among criminals of Legos’ street value. Over the last couple of years, professional thieves and opportunists around the world have turned the Danish building blocks into fat stacks of Benjamins. They’ve included Silicon Valley executives, criminal masterminds in Florida, Oklahoma conmen and even drug dealers in Amsterdam, who have started accepting Lego toys as payment.

Some go for the toy stores, others rob the delivery trucks. Earlier this year, a suspected band of crooks in Australia brandished angle grinders and crowbars to pilfer at least $30,000 in Legos from four different retailers. In England, bandits in Watford Gap and West Yorkshire pulled off Lego truck heists to the tune of $87,000 and $67,000.

The Kraken Is Such A Big Meanie, The Kraken, The Gloomy Historian, October 9, 2014 Continue reading

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LEGO and Petrochemicals

I got an email the other day about a petition started by Greenpeace urging LEGO, the world-famous toy company that was a mainstay of my childhood (continuing on into my adulthood), to cut its ties with Shell, the world-infamous oil company that has faced major opposition for its plans to drill in the Arctic. I am a huge fan of LEGO, and not at all a huge fan of Shell, but I decided to look into this campaign a bit more, in part because the LEGO/Shell partnership didn’t seem like a new deal to me. In fact, I was pretty sure I had a LEGO Shell gas station as a kid.

I was close. It was a LEGO Exxon gas station.

Via Brickipedia

Via Brickipedia

According to Brickipedia, LEGO had a licensing deal with Exxon for sets sold in the U.S., beginning as early as 1979, when it released a fuel tanker set. It released the gas station set in 1980, along with a tow truck that had Exxon logos on the doors. It also released another fuel tanker set—with room for the minifigure to sit behind the wheel—in 1984. I’m pretty sure I had all of these sets. LEGO used the Esso brand until the Exxon brand largely replaced it in the U.S. in the 1970’s.

As for Shell, I remembered seeing Shell sets in LEGO catalogs. LEGO began making Shell-branded products, such as the “Shell Service Station,” in 1966: Continue reading

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LEGO Ambitions of Youth

As a kid, I aspired to build my own LEGO Star Destroyer. The goal was to build an Executor-class ship. It’s been done, but I wanted to build one at minifigure scale—meaning that it would include all of the ship’s interior details (bridge, launch and landing bays, crew quarters, commissary, canteen, latrine, etc.) Still, I would’ve settled for an Imperial-class ship. (Such a thing has been attempted, although it was a Corellian Corvette instead of a Start Destroyer.)

Between all the Town and Space LEGOLAND sets that I had as a kid, I probably still never came close to having enough pieces for such an ambitious project—and certainly not enough gray pieces. The thing probably would’ve been about fifteen feet long, at least. Besides that, I never really had the attention span for the project.

It was therefore with a mixture of admiration and mild jealousy-fueled disdain that I learned of Bonsol Colony, an expansive LEGO project by Flickr user wobnam (h/t Kevin).

Flickr won’t allow embedding because of frames, so here’s a screen shot instead. Go check out the whole set. Continue reading

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Building Evergreen Terrace

Someone built the Simpsons house out of over 2,500 LEGO pieces (h/t Kevin). You can have one of your very own for only $200!

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Via legosaurus.com

This is an impressive feat, no doubt, but let us never forget that a life-sized, true-color Simpsons house once existed in Las Vegas.

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Via gizmodo.com

Alas, the life-sized Simpsons house is no more, but its legend lives on.

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The Rage of the LEGO Minifigure

LEGO minifigures are getting angrier and fighting more, according to CNN.

New research by robot expert Christoph Bartneck at the University of Canterbury in New Zealand shows the number of happy faces on tiny LEGO figures is decreasing.

“We cannot help but wonder how the move from only positive faces to an increasing number of negative faces impacts on how children play,” he said in a statement.

First of all, a “robot expert” who researches LEGO toys in New Zealand sounds like the greatest job in the universe. I’m sure there’s a drawback somewhere.

Second, I cannot help but agree. For years now, I have noticed that my excitement over LEGO has steadily decreased. I attribute this to two factors: (1) the gradual loss of my sense of childlike wonder, and (2) the fact that LEGO has, quite literally, sold out. It began with the Star Wars tie-ins for the release of Phantom Menace in 1999, which I thought was pretty awesome at the time. Now it has reached a new low point, in my opinion—at least based on this Lone Ranger tie-in I saw at Target the other day:

Taken at Target in Austin, Texas, July 18, 2013

Note the Johnny-Depp-as-Tonto minifigure.

Gone are the days when LEGO minifigures were happy, no matter what you made them do: Continue reading

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This Week in WTF, July 12, 2013

– Kansas passed a law allowing gun owners to pack heat in public buildings, including schools. Now most of the state’s school districts are having a hard time renewing their insurance. Oops.

– A 63 year-old self-described “LEGO fanatic” in Canada had his youthful dreams dashed when he was denied entry to a Legoland Discovery Center in Vaughan, Ontario. He and his daughter drove three hours to get there, but they were stopped at the door by employees who cited a policy requiring adults to have at least one child with them. The man’s daughter said that “the look on her dad’s face matched that of a disappointed kid who didn’t get what they hoped for at Christmas.”

The marketing manager of the facility later said that “she would have escorted Mr. St-Onge through the exhibit had she known his circumstances.” I had no difficulty getting into the Legoland in San Diego when I was 34 years old, along with two adult friends, one in his early 30s, one in her late 20s. As one who once lived for little else but building LEGO sets, I feel for the guy. As one who no longer feels the same sense of joy when presented with a box full of LEGO blocks, I also envy him.

– Germany is still having a problem with forest swastikas. Not sure I can add much to that.

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This Week in WTF, July 5, 2013

Once again, nothing much tops the shenanigans of the Texas Capitol this week when it comes to WTF, but here are a few stories that I caught.

– First up, an awesome story: Christina Stephens, who lost her left leg in a “foot crush injury,” has built a prosthetic limb for herself out of LEGO bricks.

National Park Service [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

National Park Service [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

– Tulsa, Oklahoma is considering a bid to host the 2024 Summer Olympics, which Deadspin calls “adorable.” What makes it WTF-worthy is that the city is reportedly using the Trail of Tears in its bid, as a selling point.

In a nod to the state’s American Indian history, the Olympic torch would be led along the solemn Trail of Tears, not far from where field hockey would be played in Tahlequah.

Just to bring you up to speed on that bit of American history, here’s what the National Park Service has to say about it:

In 1838, the United States government forcibly removed more than 16,000 Cherokee Indian people from their homelands in Tennessee, Alabama, North Carolina, and Georgia, and sent them to Indian Territory (today known as Oklahoma).

The impact to the Cherokee was devastating. Hundreds of Cherokee died during their trip west, and thousands more perished from the consequences of relocation. This tragic chapter in American and Cherokee history became known as the Trail of Tears, and culminated the implementation of the Indian Removal Act of 1830, which mandated the removal of all American Indian tribes east of the Mississippi River to lands in the West.

And there’s this from PBS:

The Cherokee, on the other hand, were tricked with an illegitimate treaty. In 1833, a small faction agreed to sign a removal agreement: the Treaty of New Echota. The leaders of this group were not the recognized leaders of the Cherokee nation, and over 15,000 Cherokees — led by Chief John Ross — signed a petition in protest. The Supreme Court ignored their demands and ratified the treaty in 1836. The Cherokee were given two years to migrate voluntarily, at the end of which time they would be forcibly removed. By 1838 only 2,000 had migrated; 16,000 remained on their land. The U.S. government sent in 7,000 troops, who forced the Cherokees into stockades at bayonet point. They were not allowed time to gather their belongings, and as they left, whites looted their homes. Then began the march known as the Trail of Tears, in which 4,000 Cherokee people died of cold, hunger, and disease on their way to the western lands.

This kind of puts the 1996 Atlanta Summer Olympics in a different perspective.

– A Belgian diplomat and his wife apparently found themselves at the center of a terrorism investigation, of sorts, after she tried to breastfeed their baby in a posh country club while in possession of a black backpack. Accounts differ over what exactly happened, but a police officer allegedly told the woman, “In Sri Lanka, babies are used by terrorists…You have to understand, this club has had terrorism threats in the past.” So babies are precious gifts and terrorist accoutrements, I guess.

Photo credit: National Park Service [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

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LEGO My House!

Hypothetical LEGO structures are much more fun for me now, as a grownup, than actual LEGOs. I learned this at LEGOLAND in San Diego a few years ago, as I stood impassively, or at least unimaginatively, in front of a quantity of LEGOs that, had I been 8-9 years old, might have inspired the early onset of puberty. (Don’t get me wrong: LEGOLAND was all kinds of awesome, but it just didn’t inspire youthful creativity in me the way it might have in the ’80s.)

LEGO technology has advanced considerably since the pinnacle of my LEGO constructions, which was around 1985-86. Back then, if you wanted a horse, you built a damn horse out of bricks. If you wanted a cave troll, you sure as shit didn’t have this:

© LEGO, via amazon.com

© LEGO, via amazon.com

Anyway, in the realm of hypothetical LEGO models, I can’t think of anything cooler than my own house, built entirely out of LEGO bricks.

Okay, that’s not true. A full-scale LEGO model of the Star Destroyer Executor would be much, much cooler than my house.

Kraken optional (Ochre Jelly [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0], on Flickr)

Kraken optional (Ochre Jelly [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0], on Flickr)

As it currently stands, though, I’m stuck with the hypothetical model of my house.


Lego My House by Movoto

I don’t have access to 11,647,240 LEGO pieces, nor to the roughly $1,164,724 I’d need to procure that many pieces. I’m definitely never getting that Star Destroyer, alas.

Photo credit: Cave troll © LEGO, via amazon.com; Release the KR-KN! by Ochre Jelly [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0], on Flickr.

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