If It’s in the Will…

A story came out a couple of weeks ago about a recently-deceased woman whose will directs that her dog’s ashes should be mixed with hers and buried with her. The problem, of course, is that her dog is still alive and healthy. Her attorney claims that “the dog has aggression issues that pose a risk to other animals and human handlers,” and that “a veterinarian consulted on the matter recommended that the 105-pound dog be euthanized.” I have no basis for disputing these claims, but it certainly makes the situation simpler than if the dog were both healthy and well-behaved.

Yes, this is blatant emotional manipulation.

The woman lived in Indiana, and the attorney says that he request is not illegal under that state’s law. I’m not sure it would be illegal in Texas, either, but it raises more than a few questions. Euthanasia of pets, a/k/a companion animals, must be performed by a licensed veterinarian or under the supervision of one under most states’ laws (PDF summaries of euthanasia laws are here and here). As far as I know, though, nothing legally obligates a licensed professional to perform euthanasia, especially when the animal is otherwise healthy and not subject to any sort of court order based on aggression. In other words, an executor of a will that requires euthanasia of a pet could be rebuffed by a veterinarian.

This raises the troubling question of whether a person could euthanize a pet, in accordance with someone’s will or for whatever other reason, themselves. I’ll limit myself to Texas’ animal cruelty statute for now, and it seems to leave that possibility open. Section 42.092(b)(1) of the Texas Penal Code states that “[a] person commits an offense if the person intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly…in a cruel manner kills…an animal.” The statute defines “cruel manner” as “a manner that causes or permits unjustified or unwarranted pain or suffering.” Tex. Pen. Code § 42.092(a)(3). The offense is a state jail felony for a first offense, or a third-degree felony for subsequent offenses. The only Texas court decisions that I could find citing that part of the statute involved unambiguously “cruel” treatment of an animal—specifically, setting a bat on fire and beating and stabbing cats to death.

Basically, there is no explicit prohibition under Texas law on a pet owner euthanizing their own pet, provided it is not “cruel.”


On a semi-related note, I learned that it might even be legally permissible under Texas law for a person to kill a dog in a less-than-perfectly-humane manner if it “is attacking, is about to attack, or has recently attacked livestock, domestic animals, or fowls,” provided the person witnessed the attack. I don’t know how you determine that a dog is “about to attack” with legal certainty.

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“Love, Actually,” Actually

I saw Love, Actually for the first time a few years ago, under the guidance/compulsion of my then-girlfriend-now-wife. I didn’t dislike the movie so much as I found it enjoyable (if somewhat creepy) and, ultimately, rather forgettable.

There are certain actors whom I will watch in anything they do, and this list includes Bill Nighy.

I therefore found myself agreeing with Mary Elizabeth Williams’ assessment of the film: Continue reading

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Why You Suffer Your Relatives at the Holidays

David Wong, writing at Cracked, offers an explanation for the real reason for the season:

It’s hard to understand why Christmas came to be a big deal even for people who have never stepped foot inside a church without understanding the context. And the context — which does predate Christianity by thousands of years — is that December kicks off winter in the Northern hemisphere. And for most of human history, winter meant a bunch of us were going to freaking die.

We’re so detached from that idea today, when the cold means nothing more than mild annoyance and sometimes slippery roads, that it’s hard to grasp how recent this was, and that this was the way of things for virtually all of human history. Every year, you headed into winter with just enough stored food and fuel to get by. The old and the sick knew they might not make it through, and an especially harsh winter could mean no one would feel the sun’s warmth ever again. Every year, you watched all of the plants turn brown and shrivel into husks, followed by an unrelenting darkness and cold that threatened to swallow you and everything you love.

And looking back at that, we see an awesome little portrait of exactly how much humans kick ass. Every year, you see, winter arrived with a short day followed by the longest night of the year (aka the winter solstice), and since before recorded history, humans have been celebrating that day with a feast, or festival, or outright debauchery. On that longest night before the frozen mini-apocalypse, in all times and places you would find light and song and dancing and food. Cattle would be slaughtered (to avoid having to feed all of them through the winter), families would travel to be together, and wine would flow. Precious supplies were dedicated to making decorations and gifts — frivolous things, good for nothing other than making each other happy.

These celebrations went by many names over the millennia, and everyone did it their own way. But deep down, I think the message was always the same: “We made it through another year, some of us won’t see spring, let’s spend a few days reminding each other of what’s good about humanity.”

One way of looking at it is that no one seems to celebrate winter in Westeros, although they offer oft-grudging appreciation for family.

He goes on to explain how this is still relevant today: Continue reading

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“Long Live the Riders of Roosevelt!”

This is why teddy bears are awesome:

Big GIF = slow loading

(h/t pokoshoko on Imgur)

I couldn’t find the video this comes from, but I found an animated short about a teddy bear who fights monsters, and a short about a boy with a monster under his bed (based on perhaps the scariest two-sentence short story ever.) (Videos are embedded below.) Continue reading

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What I’m Reading, December 26, 2014

Hip-Hop’s Huge Problem With Iggy Azalea Just Blew Up — And She Completely Deserves It, Tom Barnes, Mic, December 22, 2014

It turns out many people in the hip-hop community feel that Azalea is actively working against black interests because she appropriates traditionally black styles and totally divorces them from their political content. That’s why rapper Tyler, The Creator, A Tribe Called Quest’s Q-Tip and R&B singer Solange Knowles all came to [Azealia] Banks’ defense, thanking her for speaking openly and passionately about the issue of cultural appropriation. Kreayshawn also stepped up to the plate, accusing Azalea of ignoring racism in her home country as well as in America.

But it was New York-raised hip-hop legend Q-Tip who had the most inspiring response — he gave Azalea a full hip-hop history lesson in 40 tweets.

***

Hip-hop is always political. Q-Tip took the Twitterverse all the way back to hip-hop’s very beginnings. He described the conditions black people were living under in 1970s New York, which hip-hop sought to address. He cited Vietnam, the rampant drug trade in New York’s ghettos and their crumbling school systems. These factors, crippled children’s support structures, “emasculated” their parents and forced children to turn to the streets and gangs for support.

But thankfully, hip-hop was born. With it, youth found a direction, and a way to channel their energies in a positive direction.

***

It may seem mean, but she completely deserves it. Azalea has been manipulating hip-hop culture for her own gain, and she cares not at all for the broader hip-hop community or the music’s place in our culture.

[Emphasis in original.]

The propagandists have won: What Fox News and the pornography revolution have in common, Janine R. Wedel, Salon, December 21, 2014 Continue reading

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He Sees You When You’re Sleeping…..

Have some utterly inappropriate Christmas humor (h/t Lynn), as well as a very happy winter-holiday-of-your-choice.

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

  • SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?
  • MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are
  • DEMENTIA: I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas
  • NARCISSISTIC: Hark, the Herald Angels Sing About Me
  • MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and . . .
  • PARANOID: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me
  • PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
  • DEPRESSION: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All Is Flat, All is Lonely
  • OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, …
    (better start again)
  • PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On The First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me (and then took it all away)
  • BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.
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What I’m Reading, December 23, 2014

Dear Antivaxxer: This is why I do not care for you, Skewed Distribution, March 26, 2012

Over the years I have heard many plaintive cries from the anti-vax movement about those who would dare to confront them. They ask for respect for their opinions and don’t understand why I am so “mean” to them. Here you go, anti-vaxxer. Here is why I am the Honeybadger, and you are the cobra.

1. You believe that your opinion should be respected no matter how ridiculous it may be.

I must quote Poland and Jacobson to begin with. “Ultimately, society must recognize that science is not a democracy in which the side with the most votes or the loudest voices gets to decide what is right“. Anti-vaxxers, your opinions regarding vaccination are not based on science. They are ill-formed things with little basis in any reality and are due no respect whatsoever. I do not know where the idea that all opinions must be respected came from, anyway. Should I respect the opinion of a racist or a bigot? No, I should not. And I do not now, nor will I ever, respect yours. Just because you state your dangerous antivaccination views “politely” on an internet message board does not mean that you are due any kindness. It’s like putting a pretty red bow on a turd. The underlying basis of your belief system is about as rude and harmful as can be imagined; therefore, I do not feel compelled to be “nice” to you for any reason.

[Emphasis in original.]

My week in the right-wing lie machine: When Fox News, Twitchy and Montel Williams declared war on me, David Masciotra, Salon, December 18, 2014 Continue reading

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What I’m Reading, December 22, 2014

It’s OK Not to Be Offended But Not OK to Be Offended That Others Are Offended, Jill Pantozzi, The Mary Sue, December 17, 2014

Let’s stick to the less violent responses. You’re personally offended by someone being offended by a thing. Offended enough to comment on an article. What are you actually saying about yourself? You’re saying you don’t care enough to want a change for the better in the society you live in but you care enough to tell other people you don’t care?

I mean, really?

Here’s the thing: It’s totally fine if you don’t want to change the world for the better. I, and others, may judge you for it, but that’s totally your prerogative. You can also think the world doesn’t need changing. You’d be wrong, but you can certainly believe that. You don’t have to take up a cause or join ours. That’s ok. You also don’t have to consider issues we take with media on the same level as world issues. We write about these things because they mean something to us, and we believe what’s portrayed in the media has real-world implications. And we’d like others to know it.

GOP’s new fracking hypocrisy: What a Texas battle reveals about Republican dogma, Kyle Schmidlin, Salon, December 15, 2014 Continue reading

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