I’m Not Smiling, but I’m Not Crying, Either

Fred Phelps is dead.

I don’t have much else to say about this man. I don’t hate him, and I’d like to say I never did. I don’t quite pity him, either. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. I think the best legacy we could all leave for the man is a clear message that no one cares about him.

He must have led a miserable life, but I have no way of knowing that. I can only apply my own ideas about what constitutes happiness and fulfillment. If he derived joy out of the life he led, then the world is probably a better place without him.

If nothing else, his death has inspired an unusual reaction in the search algorithms of the world. These are the “related links” I saw on Facebook under a link to the CNN article:

Screen Shot 2014-03-20 at 6.15.19 PM

Now then, go forth and lead a better life than Fred Phelps. That’s setting the bar pretty low.

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The Onion Really Seems to Get the WBC

The Onion offers an entirely-sarcastic-yet-entirely-believable history of Topeka’s soon-to-be-historically-irrelevant Westboro Baptist Church. Here’s a snippet:

According to one of his estranged sons, Fred Phelps, the founder and longtime leader of the Westboro Baptist Church, is in gravely ill health. Here is a look back at some of the milestone moments in his controversial church’s history:  1929-2014: Fred Waldron Phelps is born, beginning a period of nearly 85 years during which not a single moment of doubt passes through his mind 1951: Margie Simms, the future Mrs. Phelps, meets the love of her life 1955-2014: Nobody cracks open a Bible 1968: Jesus Christ personally visits Fred Phelps in one of his dreams and asks what the fuck is wrong with him 1972-1979: The disco years

(h/t Hemant Mehta)

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Learning Not to Hate

Per a friend ‘s Facebook post, there is a rumor that Fred Phelps is dying. It is surprisingly difficult to know how to feel about this, or whether I should even feel anything at all. I like the way my friend put it: “I’m not glad he’s dying. But I sure as hell ain’t sad.”

There is also a rumor, which the church will not confirm, that Phelps was excommunicated last summer, whatever that means.

How much real influence has Westboro Baptist Church really had? Has it really been a force for hate and/or evil in the world, or just sort of an oddity? It gave us a Supreme Court ruling that confirmed things we already knew about free speech. To an extent, though, WBC’s protests have galvanized opposition to their kind of hate.

You might say, however, that WBC has given cover to less ostentatious homophobes, who can truthfully say that whatever they may do to fight against marriage equality and LGBTQ rights, at least they never picket funerals. That said, WBC probably undercut its own mission by picketing military funerals, thereby driving away all those potential right-wing allies.

I would never celebrate anyone’s death (although I can’t say I’ve always held to that.) On a larger scale, Phelps’ death will mean that his particular brand of hatred is one step closer to dying out. On a smaller, more personal scale, it makes me sad that anyone goes to their grave with that much fear and hatred in them, and leaves that sort of legacy behind.

All I can really predict with any confidence is that Phelps and the WBC will be, at best, a footnote in the “miscellaneous” section of human history. Keith Brekhus said it quite well at PoliticusUSA:

As Fred Phelps approaches his final days, the temptation to attend his funeral, once he passes, with a “God hates Fred” sign, might be tough to resist. However, a stronger message would be to avoid his funeral altogether rather than answering hate with hate. Besides, if he was ex-communicated last year, it is almost a sure bet that the surviving members who have not yet left Westboro Baptist Church, will be picketing his funeral. Ironically they will be holding signs arguing that this bitter, hateful man was not hateful enough. If so, their hateful signs will serve as a tragically fitting reminder to the legacy Reverend Phelps will leave behind.

Believe it or not, Mr. Phelps, but I do not hate you. I also do not envy a life so full of anger and hatred like the one you seem to have led. I doubt much of anything can atone for that sort of life, but I do hope you find some kind of peace.

See also: this (h/t Sarah). Definitely see what George Takei said.

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This Week in WTF, October 4, 2013

Via karmajello.com

Via karmajello.com

– Here is a headline that needs no explanation for its WTFness to be evident: “Boat filled with weed crashes into nude beach.” The article begins:

A 20-foot boat filled with 80 pounds of weed capsized at a popular nude beach/surf spot in Santa Cruz, California. Nobody was hurt, because it was totally awesome. The only danger was everyone catching good vibes.

Reports do not indicate whether or not a Doritos truck jackknifed near the beach, spilling its contents, but that would have likely been very convenient.

– I am also inclined to let this headline speak for itself: “Punk Band Shoots Porn Film on Front Lawn of Westboro Baptist Church.” The band, Get Shot!, claims to be “”the first band ever to start a porn site.” Here’s the NSFW link to said site, if you are so inclined, although as of about 9:45 CDT today, the URL leads to a “503 Service Temporarily Unavailable” message. This may be due to Healthcare.gov-caliber levels of traffic, a takedown demand from the WBC, or some other sinister plot. (The video is mirrored on XVideos, if you simply must watch it. I warned you, though.) It also led to this amusing exchange:

Followed by this response:

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Austin Hits the Big Time: The Phelps Are Coming to Town!!!

god-hates-fags-60-fuck-this-guy

Via signsoflaughter.com

The city of Austin should be engorged with pride to know that we have reached a sufficient level of pride, not only to attract the international allure of Formula 1 racing, but also the brilliant performance art of Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Players. (h/t Russell)

[WARNING: I’m in an extra sarcastic mood, so I kind of let loose verbally in this post. If you don’t want to read multiple alternatives to the word “penis,” you might not want to continue beyond this point.]

The Austin Chronicle gives us their media release explaining the crux of their upcoming performance:

WBC will picket Formula 1 racing at The Circuit of The Americas in Austin, TX to remind this nation that God hates the vwicked people of this land of vain idolaters and that they shall be turned into Hell. These sporting events resemble the patriotic worship-the-flag pep rallies masquerading as sodlier’s funerals in that this Bible-ignorant fools worship these race car drivers like they are little gods! Shame on these people for worshipping these athletes instead of following the plain commandments of their God. They ought to obey today before it is too late. WBC knows they will not, never the less, we will kindly warn them to flee the wrath to come. These are the last days of all, Doomed america. Wake up before you find yourselves cast into the deep pit of endless fire! [sic]

Note the strategically-placed spelling errors and the avante garde disregard for pedestrian grammar rules. Yes, the Phelps clan will be bringing their unique artistic stylings to the Circuit of the Americas, where they can spread their message of Dadaist non-conformity to the elite racing fans of Europe and other places where people have enough money to charter their own helicopters. Continue reading

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