– I hope you had enough cake for the guards: A couple invited the Queen of England to their wedding “as a joke.” She showed up.

This really ups the stakes for all the people who try to invite porn stars to their prom & stuff.

– That would be quite a warning label: A prison inmate (described by Vice as a “pimp”), who is serving time in part for “kicking the shit” out of someone, is suing Nike under a theory of products liability for failing to warn that his shoes could be used as weapons.

– And don’t. do. drugs: According to this almost-certainly-fake Australian PSA, skipping school and slacking is dangerous, because land mines. (Just think of it as a not-quite-two-minute slasher film.)

– Don’t click this link, seriously: Also from Vice, the story of a man with no butt crack. It’s not a congenital conditional or anything. A doctor had to sew it shut. Ouch.

Photo credit: Ricardo Thomas [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.