April Fool’s Day (UPDATED)

Posted on April 1, 2015 by wellsdc

As a general rule, I’m not a fan of pranks, for the simple reason that they are, almost invariably, much more fun for the prankster than the pranked. The pranked person’s enjoyment is, at best, secondary, and at worst, irrelevant. That’s not how I do humor^*.

That said, I do appreciate history and all that, so here’s a wee bit about April Fool’s Day:

The custom of setting aside a day for the playing of harmless pranks upon one’s neighbor is recognized everywhere. Some precursors of April Fools’ Day include the Roman festival of Hilaria, the Holi festival of India, and the Medieval Feast of Fools.

In Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales (1392), the “Nun’s Priest’s Tale” is set Syn March bigan thritty dayes and two. Modern scholars believe that there is a copying error in the extant manuscripts and that Chaucer actually wrote, Syn March was gon. Thus the passage originally meant 32 days after March, i.e. 2 May, the anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia, which took place in 1381. Readers apparently misunderstood this line to mean “32 March”, i.e. 1 April. In Chaucer’s tale, the vain cock Chauntecleer is tricked by a fox.

Pranks are hard to pull off, though, especially in the Internet Age. As Megan Garber says at The Atlantic, “April 2 regrets are, at this point, almost as common as April 1 fools.”

For more fun, “fun,” and “what the hell were they thinking?”, check out “The Top 100 April Fool’s Day Hoaxes of All Time.”

UPDATE (04/01/2015): Thanks to Edwin for directing me to this John Oliver video:

A few choice quotes:

“April Fool’s Day is to comedy as St. Patrick’s Day is to Irish culture.”

“Pranks are terrible. Anyone claiming to be excited for April Fool’s Day is probably a sociopath, because what they’re really saying is ‘I cannot wait to hurt the people close to me.'”

“If you want to break your family’s heart, don’t play a mean trick on them. Just ask them for money for another improv class. You can do that any time of year, and you will shatter them.”

* Yes, i got pranked a few times as a kid. What’s your point???

The Charleston Conspiracy (Theory)

Posted on March 20, 2015 by wellsdc

At the South Carolina National Security Action Summit, an attendee apparently stated that the Obama administration recently tried to detonate a nuclear weapon in Charleston, South Carolina (h/t Jason). The attempted nuking of Charleston is a delusional fantasy, but it’s terrifying to me that the public statement made by this person is something that actually happened.

The woman included this in a question to Rick Santorum, who didn’t do much of anything to correct her on the issue^*. It turns out that the Charleston thing has been making the round long enough to have its own Snopes page, which declares it to be false. Dave Weigel also wrote about what happened (h/t Steve Benen): Continue reading →

Winged Devourers

Posted on March 19, 2015 by wellsdc

I think I have finally figured out why flying foxes, the large bats with adorable faces, freak me out so much.

When they wrap their wings up like this…

Via Facebook / Frans de Waal – Public Page

…they remind me of the “winged devourers” from the 1982 classic The Beastmaster: Continue reading →

Pittie Reverse Psychology

Posted on March 4, 2015 by wellsdc

BuzzFeed published a listicle on Monday entitled “24 Reasons Why No One Should Ever Have A Pit Bull As A Pet” (h/t Alice and others).

Lest you start to get angry at yet another misguided attempt to malign an awesome type of dog, it’s a trick! They love pitties!!! The listed reasons are all along the lines of “They might be too cute!” and “They love hugs too much!”

Sharky (RIP) figures prominently in several of the list items, which is as it should be, because Sharky is awesome and beautiful and wonderful and he will live forever in our hearts!!!!!!!!

I appreciate this comment exchange on BuzzFeed, though, especially Rebecca’s contribution: Continue reading →

Monday Morning Cute: Oscars Edition

Posted on February 23, 2015 by wellsdc

Feast won the Oscar for Best Animated Short Film last night. Here’s the trailer:

I didn’t know anything about the film before the awards show, but I support any film in which a dog is the hero. The whole thing (all six minutes, fourteen seconds of it) is available on YouTube, Amazon, or iTunes for $1.99. Don’t torrent it, though, dude. That’s cold. Continue reading →

This Week in WTF, February 20, 2015

Posted on February 20, 2015 by wellsdc

– Baby goes into crib. Shark’s in the crib. Our shark: If this baby doesn’t sleep well at night, his parents have no one to blame but themselves.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Yup:

Photo credit: © Joseph Reginella / via Death and Taxes.

Sex Box

Posted on February 11, 2015 by wellsdc

I’m so glad to know this show exists:

Seriously, people need to talk about this stuff, and if it takes a ridiculous, absurd, gimmicky premise to make that happen, so be it. Even Fox News’ resident expert on all things nutty, Dr. Keith Ablow, thinks it’s “not be the worst idea ever.”

There’s also an American version in the works.

Not surprisingly, the Parents Television Council is not thrilled about it.

How to Huckabee Trashy Women

Posted on January 28, 2015 by wellsdc

Apparently, Mike Huckabee doesn’t like it when women use bad words. He finds it “trashy” (h/t Alice):

Appearing last Friday on Mickelson in the Morning, an Iowa-based radio show, Huckabee recounted the culture shock he experienced when hearing profanity in the workplace while working for Fox News in New York City.

“In Iowa, you would not have people who would just throw the f-bomb and use gratuitous profanity in a professional setting,” Huckabee said. “In New York, not only do the men do it, but the women do it!”

He continued: “This would be considered totally inappropriate to say these things in front of a woman.” But “for a woman to say them in a professional setting,” Huckabee went on, “that’s just trashy!”

Since I hate to see a grown adult get the vapors like this, I’d like to offer some help, if I can. No, I’m not going to help Gov. Huckabee by getting women to stop swearing. I’m going to offer him some advice on how to fucking deal with it. Here goes. Continue reading →

She Was Geeky Before It Was Cool

Posted on January 10, 2015 by wellsdc

I regret that I never got to hang out with Grace Hopper, who helped pioneer computers, and who totally and awesomely did not put up with David Letterman’s lip:

She sounds like she was an epic badass:

Rear Admiral Dr. Grace Murray Hopper was a remarkable woman who grandly rose to the challenges of programming the first computers. During her lifetime as a leader in the field of software development concepts, she contributed to the transition from primitive programming techniques to the use of sophisticated compilers. She believed that “we’ve always done it that way” was not necessarily a good reason to continue to do so.

Is This the Greatest Horror Movie of All Time?

Posted on January 5, 2015 by wellsdc

I have remarked before that I love the “horror” genre in film but think about 99% of actual horror movies are complete and utter crap. (Yes, I know that violates Sturgeon’s Law. Shut up.)

For me, the ability of film to evoke particular emotions is fascinating, and that includes feelings of fear or dread. It’s just that very few movies do it effectively, and a few might do it too well in one way or another. To give an example, I find movies like Hostel and Wolf Creek to be terrifying, not because they actually evoke a feeling of fear in me personally, but because it scares me that people actually made those movies and that others found them entertaining enough to warrant sequels.

I am mostly talking about the “slasher” genre here, which may have started with 1974’s Black Christmas, a genuinely creepy movie. The genre has a few highlights, at least in an iconic sense, such as Halloween and A Nightmare on Elm Street, but they mostly fall into the old, tired tropes that were parodied (not very effectively, in my opinion) in the Scream movies. The one truly great slasher film is almost never even considered to be part of the genre at all: Alien, in which a killer picks off the crew members of a ship one by one until only one woman is left (as it happens, in her underwear.) It’s just that the movie is phenomenal, with a good story, well-written characters, and superb actors; the killer is an alien creature; and it all happens in outer space. Plus, if you pretend the ending hasn’t been spoiled for the entire universe, it’s not at all clear throughout the film who’s going to make it. Continue reading →

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