Consider the cat.
Specifically, consider the cat’s drive to kill.
Now, consider this classic scene from Alien, but imagine that they’re talking about Jones, the ship’s cat, instead of the eight-foot-tall, acid-bleeding xenomorph: Continue reading
When I asked my wife to marry me, one of this first things she said to me (after “yes,” thankfully) was to ask if the Gourds could play our wedding. It wasn’t really a question—she was telling me that we would hire the Gourds to play, and that our wedding budget would have to work around whatever it cost. As I happen to love the Gourds, too, I had no objection.
I mention the Gourds because they are part of a long, proud, twangy tradition of Texas country/folk/bluegrass/etc. musicians. The Gourds certainly had their own unique sound, distinct from just about any other band I know, but they also belong to a tradition pioneered by people like Guy Clark, who died a few days ago at the age of 74.
This has been a bad year for music. Guy Clark’s death has hit me much closer to home than others, and it’s not just because he’s from Texas, or because he is a legend of Texas music. I don’t even know all that many of his songs. He wasn’t a singularly unique artist like David Bowie or Prince. It’s doubtful that anyone could call him a “visionary” on the same scale as Bowie or Prince. Guy Clark was an old guy with a guitar, writing and singing what he knew. He did it very, very well. And a whole lot of people loved him for it. Continue reading
I meant to write a post about Bob Ross—he of the “happy little trees”—back in July, but…well, stuff happened. Once July ended, it kind of went on the back burner. Last week, however, College Humor published an article by Amir Khan entitled “15 Times Bob Ross Was EXTREMELY Bob Ross,” which offers a touching tribute to the man:
Bob, you taught us how to find those little happy trees within ourselves, and for that, we are eternally grateful.
The post is definitely worth a look.
By pumpkin46654, via College Humor
Bob Ross, as you may know, hosted a public television show called “The Joy of Painting.” You might not think that this would be a path to a sort of superstardom, but here we are, talking about the man. I don’t think you could find anyone on Earth who, once they knew who Bob Ross is, wouldn’t love him, at least a little bit.
The Internet has been a gold mine of Bob Ross, from memes and animated GIFs to Autotuned music videos: Continue reading
I haven’t been posting much of late. Rather than offer my various excuses (busy, inadequate allocation of time, who I am as a person, etc.), I instead offer this video of a dachshund on vacation on a beach in Greece:
Be sure to note the “ear wings” effect at around the 2:40 mark.
Here’s a dachshund in South Carolina trying to play with a crab: Continue reading
– No points for good intentions: You have to admire the man’s sense of responsibility, although its belated nature does make it hard to be too sympathetic with his plight. I am referring, of course, to the man in Abbotsford, British Columbia who jumped into the back of what he thought was a taxi after concluding that he was too drunk to drive himself home (h/t Sean Robichaud).
There were two problems with this plan: (1) he came to the realization that he was too drunk to drive while he was driving; and (2) it was a police cruiser, not a cab.
Oops.
– To be fair, plush-animal technology has made huge advances in recent years: A 911 caller reported a live tiger on the loose, which turned out to be an extremely lifelike stuffed tiger. Not “stuffed” in a taxidermy sense, but “stuffed” in a normally-snuggly/cuddly sense.
![By Monika Wahi (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons](http://crypticphilosopher.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Stuffed_tiger_on_couch.jpg "By Monika Wahi (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons")
“Oh, sorry, is this your couch? I just needed to rest for a—hey, is that a stuffed antelope? Yum!”
Presenting six pug puppies sleeping in a row, with musical accompaniment:
(Via the good people at Laughing Squid.)
I thought about making some pug-puppy GIFs, but you really need the music to appreciate this one fully 🙂
– The grossest thing you’ll see all day (maybe all week): You might just want to trust me on this.
– I’m sure it happens all the time: When prison inmate Ramon Somoza mailed a pro se filing to a judge in Utah, he included a razor blade along with the paperwork. This led to an investigation, but he will not face any charges. The prosecutor reportedly determined that it was an accident:
“He files a number of documents with the court, and he does not have access to white-out,” the prosecutor explained. Using the razor blade, Somoza “cuts out small strips of paper that he uses as white-out if he makes a mistake.”
That’s a really good idea—except for the mailing-it-to-the-judge part—given that correction tape is sure to be in short supply in prison. (h/t Scott Greenfield)
– Where is the deed recorded?: You might not think of real estate litigation as a place for the fanciful and bizarre, but oh how wrong you’d be: Continue reading
Just send in a bunch of singers like her:
The video title, “Офигенный голос,” simply means “awesome voice” in Russian. Continue reading
– Everyone does romance in their own way: Cats purr to indicate happiness and contentment—or whatever passes for those in the warped mind of a cat, anyway. Humans purr, for the most part, to imitate cats in a semi-sarcastic manner. Now we know that some species of spider make purring noises as a form of seduction—except not ironically, the way humans might (indirect h/t Alice). Spiders don’t have ears, though, so they actually do it for the vibrations. You can make your own joke about that last bit.
Personally, I like to think that spiders are learning all of our best movie quotes from the tactile impact of sound waves coming from televisions, and repeating them to each other in spider code.
!["Adult female Phidippus audax jumping spider in Nashville, Tennessee" by Kaldari (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons, modified by me (dialogue from "Say Anything")](http://crypticphilosopher.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Kaldari_Phidippus_audax_01_sayanything.png "\"Adult female Phidippus audax jumping spider in Nashville, Tennessee\" by Kaldari (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons, modified by me (dialogue from \"Say Anything\")")
– Today in “not a scene from a Japanese horror film”: A mom is seen pushing her son in a swing. For a rather long period of time. Possibly since the previous evening. Turns out her son is dead. She didn’t seem fully aware of this, though. I’m not going to make any jokes here.
– “Is your iPhone on fire, or are you just happy to see me?”: A man in New York claims that he suffered severe leg burns after his iPhone 5c exploded in his pocket. I’m glad I skipped the 5 and went straight from 4s to 6. Continue reading
In honor of Bastille Day, here’s some classic Rush:
Now, go reflect on France, or learn to speak French, or whatever it is people do on Bastille Day. Here’s the Eiffel Tower with fireworks: Continue reading
