Conservatives Aren’t Funny

By this, I mean that conservatives are not funny when they are trying to be conservative. There are probably enough reasons for this to fill a book, but the fact is that comedy, i.e. the art of making people laugh, strongly tends towards ideas labeled as “liberal” in today’s society. I have argued here before that comedy works best when it is pointed upward, as when someone with less power uses humor on someone with more power. As someone else put it, there is a very good reason why employees of a company might roast their CEO, but the CEO does not roast the janitor.

Some conservatives seem to think that CBS is conspiring against them by giving the Late Show gig to Stephen Colbert. I’ll be said to see The Colbert Report go, but it’s hard to argue, from purely talent- and career-based standpoints, that Colbert hasn’t earned this. And that’s really the key: The Late Show is a comedy show, and Colbert is funny. Limbaugh, et al, are trying to pull more appropriation of progressive language regarding power and oppression, but no one who isn’t already steeped in Limbaugh’s worldview is buying it.

Rush Limbaugh can call his hate speech comedy, but Stephen Colbert’s parody character of conservative hosts is an act of war. One suspects that Colbert’s parody cuts a little too close to the bone for Limbaugh. Conservatives are always looking for a reason to go to war.

In this case, Limbaugh is expertly playing into the Republican victimization complex by claiming that CBS is somehow attacking them by hiring Stephen Colbert. The character that Colbert has played is a funhouse mirror look at how hosts like Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly really behave.

Maybe Rush thinks that he should have been given the gig? The problem with conservatives doing comedy is that they aren’t funny. Glenn Beck thinks he is funny. Rush Limbaugh thinks he is funny, but they aren’t funny. Their humor is usually mean-spirited. Conservative humor tends to enjoy laughing at the misfortune of others.

If conservatives want a spot on a show like The Late Show, they need to put humor over ideology. If conservative ideology just plain isn’t funny, that’s a problem with conservative ideology, not comedy.

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I Couldn’t GIF the Colbchella Dance Party. Luckily, Someone Else Figured It Out.

You’ve probably seen the StePhest Colbchella ‘013 “Time to Dance” video by now. Unless you’ve been living under a rock or were really busy like me today. If you missed it, here it is (at least for as long as Comedy Central makes it available for embedding):

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Because I am always several years behind the times when it comes to the internet, upon seeing the video, I figured I ought to make GIFs of the video, like I recently did for a Dos Equis commercial I found amusing. Alas, Comedy Central has done a good job blocking downloads of their streaming videos. I know some tricks, but not enough tricks.

Vulture, however, obviously knows more than me, or they have access to an actual video file. They have some GIFs up on their site. I hope they don’t mind if I post a few highlights here.

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Totally worth it for the Matt Damon Booth.

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Thanks to Steve Doocy, Every Time We Lie, We Can Just Say We “Paraphrased”

“Being born rich is Mitt Romney’s greatest accomplishment.”

We can thank Stephen Colbert for that one. Colbert had a brilliant bit on Fox News’ Steve Doocy doing something inconceivable for a cable news host, particularly one on Fox News: Doocy made some shit up.

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(As an aside to the people who seem to genuinely believe that Colbert is really a conservative punking the rest of us: the National Institute of Standards and Technology recently recalibrated the average American penis length to 2.5 inches. Congratulations on your newfound virility.)

'Steve Doocy,' U.S. Navy photo by Photographer's Mate Airman Anthony Riddle (http://www.news.navy.mil/view_single.asp?id=24830) [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsBack to Doocy: yup, he asked Mitt Romney about a slur against Mittens’ wealth, uttered by Obama, that Obama never actually uttered.

I guess it’s okay to do that because the oppression of the obscenely wealthy is a national scourge that must be rooted out, right?

Sarcasm aside, the Dooce realized the error of his ways and issued a heartfelt, honest apology. Except for the fact that he did not do that. Here’s what he said:

Last week President Obama talked about not being born with a silver spoon in his mouth. That was interpreted as a big dig at Mitt Romney. When I was interviewing Governor Romney on this show I asked him about it. However, I did some paraphrasing that seemed to misquote the president. So to be clear, the president’s exact quote was, ‘I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth.’ And I hope that clears up any confusion.

Here’s what The Raw Story had to say about the clarity of the confusion:

Actually, Dooce, that does not clear up all the confusion. You clearly reached for a piece of paper on-air in your interview with Romney in order to read this fabricated quote. Who wrote the material you were reading? What was the source for that version of the quote? Were you reading from internally produced material or from a third-party source? From how high up in the Fox News universe did this fabrication originate?

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