Why You Should Probably Never Call the Police in Dubai

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Let no one ever say that Dubai is not well-endowed.

A Norwegian woman recently received a 16-month prison sentence in Dubai. Her crime?

Ms Dalelv says she had been on a night out with colleagues on 6 March when the rape took place.

She reported it to the police, who proceeded to confiscate her passport and seize her money. She was charged four days later on three counts, including having sex outside marriage.

Her alleged attacker, she said, received a 13-month sentence for extra-marital sex and alcohol consumption.

(Emphasis added.) I’ll just let that sink in.

It appears both the woman and the rapist were convicted of the same offense, and she got the longer sentence.

The sentence for having sex outside of marriage, a/k/a being a rape survivor, is worse than the one-month sentence given to the married Pakistani couple that had sex in their car in Dubai—and who successfully appealed the conviction and sentence.

It is also worse than the one-month sentence given to the British couple who violated Dubai’s “decency laws” by kissing each other on the mouth in public. They lost their appeal. Continue reading

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Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

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Women are all, like, mysterious and shit, you know?

At any rate, there is a lot of money to be made in perpetuating the notion that women are inscrutable, even to themselves, and it tends to sell a lot of products to people who don’t know the meaning of the word “inscrutable.”

Allow me to speak for a moment from my perspective as a guy who spent most of his life thinking that women were mysterious, practically evanescent figures of wonder, because I think this notion colors the perspectives of far too many people. I cannot in any way speak from the perspective of a woman, or even hope to represent women’s views or interests, but I can address the concerns of male idiots.

(Trigger warning for discussions of rape rhetoric from here on.)

(Also, I admit this post really only addresses gender binary male-female relations. There is a much wider array of experiences and perspectives out there.)

For men who don’t know anything about women (and can’t be bothered to learn), perhaps nothing is scarier than the spectre of the False Rape Accusation. This is a potentially life-destroying threat that any man who attempts physical intimacy with any woman must face. It is, of course, bullshit, but many, many dudes can’t see beyond the tips of their own dongs to realize that. Continue reading

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A hot high school teacher is accused of sleeping with a student. Commence pearl clutching in 3, 2, 1…

Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader Sarah Jones after an NFL game on Sept. 3, 2009, in Cincinnati. Credit: AP Photo/David Kohl [Fair use]

Including a picture will help with page views.

When a teacher is accused of inappropriate relations with a student, we as a society have a tendency to react differently depending on who occupies which position on the victim/perpetrator scale. Let me be abundantly clear here that sexual relationships between high school teachers and their students are bad. Unequivocally, uniformly bad, mmmkay? We tend to uniformly condemn male perpetrators who allegedly prey on anyone, long before the trial even starts. When the alleged perpetrator is a woman, though, we are sometimes less certain how to respond.

When the alleged perpetrator is an attractive woman, our notions of gender roles get all befuddled.

When the alleged perpetrator is a former NFL head cheerleader, we go into full-on slut-shaming mode.

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More than anything else, I want to smack that reporter in the face until he admits that he does not work for TMZ.

I don’t know what went on between Sarah Jones and her alleged, unnamed victim (justifiably unnamed because he’s a minor). Prosecutors in Kenton County, Kentucky say they have e-mails and other correspondence that proves the existence of a sexual relationship sometime between October and December 2011. Jones denies any inappropriate relationship. So does the alleged victim, or so we hear. Interestingly, joining the chorus of support for Jones is the alleged victim’s family. Whatever is going on in this case, it is getting interesting.

The twist in this case, at least culturally-speaking, is this:

(1) Sarah Jones is kind of a slamming hottie, particularly when she is all done up in her cheerleader garb. Your typical high school boy, again, culturally speaking, would have rather clear feelings about that. That would not justify a relationship in any way at all, because even a horny kid is still just a kid. The complication for the boy is that a great many people might be tempted not to view him as that much of a victim. This puts the kid in the untenable position of being a victim who is expected, in some circles, to be proud of his victimization. At times, this makes cases like these very difficult to prosecute. At other times, it could make prosecutors very eager to go after such a case, based on an assumption that the victim will not want to talk about it. Or will want to talk about it. If we could just deal with the case based on its particular facts, wouldn’t it be a great world?

(2) Sarah Jones is kind of a slamming hottie, particularly when she is all done up in her cheerleader garb. Some circles of our society (see the TODAY video above) may view her hotness and her choice of skimpy garb as evidence of her guilt, whether they realize it or not. The fact that Sarah Jones once earned supplemental income as a cheerleader has exactly zero to do with the question of her guilt or innocence. But damn if we don’t view that as somehow suspect. Here’s what would tend to go towards proving her guilt: (a) a confession; (b) direct evidence of sexual contact between her and the alleged victim, in the form of DNA, photographs, overt written or recorded references, or eyewitness testimony (which usually comes from one of the two parties to the relationship); or (c) indirect evidence, in the form of cell phone records, sightings of the two in public, the defendant’s car at the alleged victim’s house at 3:00 a.m., and so forth. Here’s what would not tend to go towards proving her guilt: (a) being a cheerleader; (b) wearing short skirts and skimpy tops; (c) getting paid to wear short skirts and skimpy tops; (d) being a young, hot high school teacher who also works as a cheerleader.

If she did it, she should go to jail. If she didn’t, everyone shut up about the cheerleader outfit. Actually, either way, everyone shut up about the cheerleader outfit.

'Lafave' by FL DOC [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Possibly the best mug shot in the history of law enforcement (a fact that was irrelevant to the question of her guilt.)

It might be tempting to think that women get some sort of….not free…but easier pass in cases like this. Debra LaFave only got house arrest and probation, for example, for her tryst with a 14 year-old. This is not the whole story. Remember that for every convicted female perpetrator that gets a seemingly light sentence, there is a male victim that isn’t really viewed as a victim. This is because of two cultural stereotypes: (a) dudes want to do the nasty, and (b) girls are delicate flowers who can’t really hurt us. That may turn out a lighter prison sentence for one female perpetrator, but the rest of humanity–male, female, trans*, and so forth–is worse off for it. It involves negative stereotypes on both sides, but the one against women (that they can’t really hurt men) easily feeds into the stereotype that they can’t really do many things. Then the dudes step in to do things for them.

What I am really saying in that last paragraph is, if you try to use this as an example of how men are the real victims in society, I will mock you. Mercilessly. Possibly using gay porn. Because I know you’d hate that. (Or would you???)

Photo credits: ‘Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader Sarah Jones after an NFL game on Sept. 3, 2009, in Cincinnati,’ AP Photo/David Kohl [Fair use], via CBS News; ‘Lafave’ by FL DOC [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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