Ted Nugent: Still a Dick

Ted Nugent in concertTed Nugent is a dick. Let me be clear about the metaphor here. If you stroke Ted Nugent the right way, he’ll spout off all over the place, and the world will be messier for it. Make him feel threatened (or possibly cold), he will shrivel up and hide.

I would say Ted Nugent is a pussy, but that is not accurate for several reasons. First of all, it’s a gendered insult I’m trying to avoid. Second, as we have learned from a joke attributed to Betty White, pussies can take quite a pounding, far more so than Ted Nugent.

The Nuge was back in the news for his more-than-implicit threats to the President, sparking a Secret Service investigation. He is now saying that he has never threatened anybody’s life before. Not only is that not true, but he’s being a real dick about it.

I blogged a bit about Ted back in 2007, when he thought it would be a lark to brag about what he would have done in Vietnam, contrasting that to what he actually did during the war.

The Rutland Herald had the story back in 2006:

The 57-year-old rocker also “told it like it is” during the Vietnam War. Here’s Ted on what he would have done if he went to Vietnam:

“… if I would have gone over there, I’d have been killed, or I’d have killed, or I’d kill all the hippies in the foxholes … I would have killed everybody,” he told the Detroit Free Press in an interview published July 15, 1990.

Fortunately, for our hero, Ted didn’t go to Vietnam.

And how Ted managed to avoid the draft makes President Bush look like a war hero.

In that 1990 interview with the Free Press and from information collected from the Chickenhawk Web site, Nugent told about how he avoided the draft: “He claims that 30 days before his Draft Board Physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days he ingested nothing but junk food and Pepsi, and a week before his physical, he stopped using the bathroom altogether, virtually living inside his pants caked with excrement and urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment.”

It says volumes about the character of a man who calls himself the Motor City Madman. The Detroit native went out of his way to avoid the defining experience of his generation, then has the gall to talk about how eagerly he would have killed, “if” he had served.

Remember this the next time the Nuge tries to act tough. He had the opportunity to serve his country and do all those things he spouts off about doing, but when he had the opportunity to do so, he literally shit himself. What a dick.

Photo credit: ‘Ted Nugent in concert’ by Lenny Francioni [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

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Hell hath no fury

Presented not for myself, but on behalf of people I care about.

Hell Hath No Fury, graphic by sarahlee310

November 6, 2012: Get your ass out there and vote.

Photo credit: Hell Hath No Fury by sarahlee310

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Something is turning me all progressive and stuff

About five years ago I took the World’s Smallest Political Quiz and the results indicated that I was a left-leaning libertarian:

I took the test again, to see what five years have done, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, I’m all liberal and crap:

Here’s how it describes me:

Liberals usually embrace freedom of choice in personal matters, but tend to support significant government control of the economy. They generally support a government-funded “safety net” to help the disadvantaged, and advocate strict regulation of business. Liberals tend to favor environmental regulations, defend civil liberties and free expression, support government action to promote equality, and tolerate diverse lifestyles.

How did a kid from Alamo Heights grow up to be such a stinking hippie? I’m sure there are lots of reasons, but for now I just thought the shift in test results was interesting.

Of course, the test presumes to categorize you based on ten questions (five political and five economic), so its reliability is dubious. Meh.

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The Republican primaries go all Hunger Games on us

I’m exaggerating, sort of. It seems the police had to intervene on Saturday in an altercation between some Ron Paul supporters (or Ronulans, as they are sometimes known) and local Republican leaders outside St. Louis:

Police and organizers shut down proceedings at one of Missouri’s largest caucuses today, as Ron Paul supporters feuded with local GOP leaders.

“It’s like the Hatfields and the McCoys around here,” St. Charles County’s former GOP chairman told ABC News, after police arrived on-scene with a helicopter and removed Paul backers.

In St. Charles, an exurb of St. Louis and one of the state’s largest GOP counties, Paul supporters sought to elect their own chairman and adopt their own rules when proceedings opened — both of which are part of standard caucus rules and procedure. But as they argued with the caucus chair, Paul supporters held video cameras — against caucus rules, according to a GOP official who was there — and things became contentious.

“It turned into a little food fight within the caucus, between the caucus chairman trying to control the caucus and certain elements, I guess with Ron Paul, trying to be heard,” said Tom Kipers, a former chairman of the St. Charles GOP, who attended the caucus at Francis Howell North High School.

An off-duty police officer, hired as security, eventually filed a trespassing complaint against the Paul supporters and notified on-duty police in the area municipality of St. Peters, who, along with police from other jurisdictions, arrested two Paul supporters and ended the caucuses early. A joint-jurisdictional police helicopter arrived on the scene. Kipers said about 10 officers arrived in total.

“Two people were arrested for trespassing after receiving numerous warnings to leave the school property,” the St. Peters police said in a press release. “Both subjects were transported to St. Peters Justice Center where they were booked for Trespassing and released on a summons.”

Seriously, how far are we from sticking the remaining candidates into Thunderdome and waiting until one man leaves?

Photo credit: Southern Chivalry – Argument versus Club [PD-US] at Wikimedia Commons.

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Because it is time for a chuckle, dangit

Pete Reynolds at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency takes a look at Republican exit polls, and the results are quite revealing. Excerpts follow. Prepare to be shocked, appalled, dazzled, and pwned:

Nearly 60% of those who have nicknamed a body part voted for Newt Gingrich.

Ron Paul was the choice of 72% of voters who have fired a crossbow at a ferret.

People who hired Peter Cetera to sing at their wedding overwhelmingly supported Mitt Romney.

Ron Paul was backed by three-quarters of the voters who purchase their meat from the trunk of a car.

Romney won among people who blog about board games.

Gingrich won a majority of voters who regularly send back hash browns.

Ron Paul won 63% of voters who have accidentally baked their car keys into a pie.

Romney took 88% of the votes among people whose primary issue was yacht parking.

Of those who thought President Obama was not humanity’s largest threat, 96% were just passing by the polling place on their way to Whole Foods.

It is worth reading the whole piece. Unless you are someone who actually takes this field of Republican presidential contenders seriously as anything besides a threat to our nation’s reputation as a nation not full of idiots. If this is the case, please move along quietly, and try not to touch anything.

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