The Lesbian Cyborg Atheist Who Ran for President

This election cycle seems to be an ever-widening circle of lies sliding along a downward spiral of deception into a morass of strained metaphors. So far, I’ve counted one possible untruth out of Harry Reid, and for Mitt Romney I stopped counting. BooMan captures the essence of why we should not feel bad for any hurt fee-fees Willard might be experiencing:

Mitt Romney isn’t really a Mormon. He’s an atheist who only went along with his father’s faith so he could duck the Vietnam draft. He didn’t actually try to convert anyone when he was in France either. In reality, he spent all his time in Monte Carlo gambling and buying high-end hookers. When his daddy found out what he was doing, he made him come home and marry his high school sweetheart. Actually, he only made him marry her after the second time she got pregnant. The first time, they got an abortion. Then Romney started using some of the mafia connections he had made in Marseilles to import heroin. By the time he became governor, they were flying it straight into a secret airport they set up in the Berkshires. When one of the pilots started to talk, Romney had him killed.

Now, if we started telling these stories to people, and a substantial percentage of the population started to actually believe these stories, and if congressmen humored and even encouraged the people who believed these stories, and if media figures talked about these stories, and if Congress actually had hearings about some of these stories, then Mitt Romney would know what it’s like to be treated like a Democrat.

(h/t DougJ at Balloon Juice)

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This Week in WTF, August 10, 2012

Oahu– Rep. Steve King (R-Idiocracy) found the microfiche of President Obama’s 1961 birth announcement in two Hawaiian newspapers. While he can’t deny the likely authenticity of these announcements, he also cannot rule out the possibility that he is insane (that is the only explanation I can think of for Rep. King’s subsequent wild-eyed speculation):

We went down into the Library of Congress and we found a microfiche there of two newspapers in Hawaii each of which had published the birth of Barack Obama. It would have been awfully hard to fraudulently file the birth notice of Barack Obama being born in Hawaii and get that into our public libraries and that microfiche they keep of all the newspapers published. That doesn’t mean there aren’t some other explanations on how they might’ve announced that by telegram from Kenya. The list goes on.

No word yet on whether he has considered the possibility of time travel. Or space aliens. Or improbable quantum fluctuations creating Barack Obama, fully formed, from a pile of aluminum recycling.

– Fox News doesn’t think our Olympic champions are being patriotic enough, because they don’t compete decked out from head to toe in American flag regalia or something. Our athletes should do it to show how America is exceptional, and also because other nations do it, but America is still exceptional, because shut up. (If you can make it through then entire almost-5-minute clip from Fox News in the linked article, you are made of stronger stuff than I.)

– Bryan Fischer compares kidnapping children from gay or lesbian parents to freeing slaves, thus failing at both American history and basic human decency. I wish I was making this story up.

Photo credit: ‘Oahu’ by Earth Sciences and Image Analysis, NASA-Johnson Space Center [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

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A quick thought on privilege

(This was a comment a made on a Facebook thread centered around this article, to which someone added this video, which ended up bringing in race, religion, and LGBTQ issues–in other words, a normal Friday morning for me. I figured I’d cut and paste my comments here for an inexpensive blog update! This is all verbatim what I wrote, except that I corrected a few spelling and grammar errors inherent to the Facebook commenting format.)

This will be a condensed treatment of the concept of privilege, but here goes: I’m a white, heterosexual, educated, affluent, originally-raised-Episcopalian, reasonably attractive and healthy American male. In other words, I am about as high up on the privilege ladder as you can get. About the only “minority” status I have is that of atheist, and people who don’t know me can’t exactly tell that just from looking at me. If I may borrow Stephanie for a second, if I were to tell Stephanie that sexism does not exist in America because I have never experienced it, or because her own stories of encountering sexism just don’t make sense to me, Stephanie would be within her rights to give me an epic rhetorical beatdown. As a guy, I have privilege in this society to ignore some pretty pervasive sexism. If I don’t want to see it or deal with it, it can be invisible to me. The same can be true for me about LGBTQ issues (no one has yet complained that, by advertising my engagement on my FB page, I am rubbing my sexuality in their faces. LGBTQ people don’t get that kind of deference from the whole freaking world). Christians can claim “persecution” when in reality they are just having to share the public sphere with others. Guys can claim unfair advantages for women when women haven’t even achieved parity. My actual point, though, is about the “race card.” When a person of color “plays the race card,” it is pretty much assumed that the sole purpose is to be divisive or to distract from something else, and that is a load of crap. There is racism all around us all the time, but most white (or white-identified) people do not have to deal with it as a daily fact of life. Just one example: I drove by four police cars yesterday, and in two instances I was going about 5 miles over the speed limit, but no one pulled me over. I have never been pulled over without verifiable evidence of speeding or making an illegal right turn on red, and I have never had my car searched for drugs “just in case.” For many if not most people of color in America, though, the simple act of driving a car down the street requires taking on more risk than my privileged ass can comprehend. I’m not claiming any greater knowledge of the reality of life in America, just that I get that there is much of daily life for others that I do not “get.” Claiming that a context-free allegation of racism is playing the “race card” is a cowardly refusal to even consider that the person might be correct. Note also that privilege is not limited specifically to white heterosexual males. The default setting of society is “white heterosexual male,” so nearly anything that unthinkingly falls into one of those categories can have the effect of propping up privilege, without awareness of how it might hurt others.

None of this means that I don’t get to have a say in issues pertaining to other groups. It just means that I need to listen for a change. It is really amazing how little privileged people actually listen to people without their same privilege. Google “mansplaining” if you want to have a sad chuckle.

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My Response to Iowa Republican Representative Steve King on Dog Fighting

You may have heard about Representative Steve King’s (R-IA) opposition to amendments to the current Farm Bill that would expand federal criminal laws regarding dog fighting. The Dog Files has a good summary of the proposed amendment and Rep. King’s objections:

During a tele-townhall event last week, King complained about an amendment to the farm bill that prohibits attendance at organized animal fights and imposes additional penalties for bringing a child to these bloody and horrific displays. Staging fights, possessing and/or training animals or moving animals for fighting purposes is already a federal crime. This amendment to the US Farm Bill would extend that to anyone spectating and wagering on animal fighting.

Congressman King went as far to say in his live town hall video broadcast that “it’s a federal crime to watch animals fight or to induce someone else to watch an animal fight but it’s not a federal crime to induce somebody to watch people fighting, there’s something wrong with the priorities of people that think like that.”

When I first read this yesterday, my initial impulse was to post a link to the Dog Files story on my Facebook page with a snarky note asking Republicans to please pick up their trash, but two things made me pause before shooting off at the mouth (or keyboard.) First, I’m trying to respond to ideas and arguments that shock my conscience with slightly more restraint, out of a “catch more flies with honey sentiment,” although I admit it is difficult. I will still call stupid “stupid” to its face. And that was the second thing that gave me pause: while I believe Rep. King is 100% wrong, something about the rhetoric he employed prevents me from outright calling it any of my usual deserved slurs. The false equivalence that Rep. King uses here calls for a nuanced response, followed up by an analogy that is both more apt and more inflammatory. In short, Rep. King compares dog fighting to boxing, when I posit that he should be comparing it to child pornography. The following is my open letter to Rep. King. Continue reading

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The saddest meme in Republican history

The other day, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid claimed that an unnamed Bain investor told him that Mitt Romney won’t release any more tax returns because that would demonstrate that he did not pay taxes for ten years. We don’t know who actually said that, so it is possible that Senator Reid is making it up. Politicians certainly lie through their teeth all the time–well, Mitt Romney does. I’m sure others do as well.

In response to this, people on the right could have just pointed out that Reid has not provided any evidence for his assertion besides his say-so, which would have gotten the point across that he made an unsupported (albeit plausible) accusation. But that would have been sensible, and this is the American right wing we’re talking about here.

First, they point out that Harry Reid will not release his own tax returns, which is irrelevant because Harry Reid is not running for president.

Not content to leave it at that, someone creates a Twitter hashtag suggesting (facetiously, one hopes) that Harry Reid is a pederast. I assume the intention was to demonstrate the impact of unfounded accusations, not to look like a group of schoolchildren who just learned a big word. The meme yielded gems such as this:

 

 


It’s always just hilarious when a person using “pederasty” as a cheap device for a lame attempt at satire uses words like “disgusting” to describe the other person. It is difficult to fully explain how an allegation made as part of an ongoing controversy over an unprecedentedly tight-lipped presidential candidate’s financial history is different from completely made-up accusations of pederasty by a bunch of Tweeters. Honestly, before yesterday it never would have occurred to me that such a distinction would be necessary. If you haven’t already figured out the distinction, there is no hope for your intellectual development beyond its current state, or you are currently under the age of six.

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This Week in WTF, July 27, 2012

– One of the more, uh, creative members of the Texas State Board of Education, Ken Mercer, tries to blame liberals or communists or somebody for changes to the social studies curriculum that he himself made–specifically, the removal of the terms “free market” and “free enterprise.” He presumably figures most people will not actually do the research to see that he is lying, nor will they read anything in the “librul meedeeyuh” that would prove his pants are on fire. He’s right about that, at least (h/t Texas Freedom Network)

– Michelle Bachmann has finally found a way to bring Republicans and Democrats together with her tomfoolery over Huma Abedin, aide to Secretary of State Clinton. I doubt that was Bachmann’s intent, of course, since I have my doubts that she can see the consequences of her own actions more than about thirty seconds into the future. I also haven’t ruled out the possibility that she is actually a cyborg sent back in time from a future America that has already had to endure a Romney and a Palin presidency and derives most of its GDP desperately trying to sell tickets to a nationwide network of creation museums and theme parks to Canadian tourists. If that is the case, I assume the cyborg will be built in China, Japan, or India, because there’s no way we would have the wherewithal to do it here.

Louie Gohmert, Bryan Fischer, and even Rick Warren test the limits of humanity.

Chick-Fil-A. That gets its own post.

Sally Ride was the first American woman, and only the third woman in history, to go to space. She was about as true a pioneer as America is ever likely to have. She could not have served as a den mother, though.

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A Political Proposal

Some people need to meet their presidential candidates in person, perhaps to size them up. Then again it could be a sort of superstitious need for physical proximity, even if only to stand in the same general presence of the candidate, or even just to meet the candidate’s surrogate or representative. The candidate almost becomes a myth, or a totem, sort of like a rabbit’s foot or Jesus. I’m not one to get all riled up over a politician.

These campaign trips get expensive, though, both in the cost to the campaign itself, and through security costs and disruptions to the host cities. They have to provide security, but they also have to give up a significant part of their city to the candidate’s security apparatus.

So I propose a solution. Figure out how much it will cost the city in lost productivity and public services, then cut a check to the campaign for that amount. The candidate can deliver speeches via webcam, and the rest of us can stay home.

I’m totally kidding, by the way. This would be a terrible idea.

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Why America is Doomed

A commenter on BuzzFeed yesterday suggested that Mitt Romney shouldn’t release his tax returns until Barack Obama releases his school records.

The person who thinks that way deserves someone like Mitt Romney as president. The problem is, it’s not worth hurting the other 299,999,999 people in this country just to teach that asshole a lesson.

UPDATE: It’s actually worse than that: Trump to Romney: Demand Obama’s college records:

Billionaire businessman and Mitt Romney supporter Donald Trump said Monday morning that the GOP nominee should release more of his tax returns — as soon as President Obama releases his college records.

“Obama should give his college applications and records — you talk about transparency,” Mr. Trump said on “Fox and Friends.” “We will learn more about Obama when we look at those college applications than any other thing that can happen.”

***

Nevertheless, Mr. Trump said Republicans should keep pushing on the issue.

“If I were Mitt Romney or advising Mitt Romney, I would say, ‘I will put out all of my records, I’ll go back as far as you want, after you put out your records on college,'” he said.

“I’ll tell you what — the Republicans have to get a lot tougher,” he continued. “They have to get down and dirty also, because that’s what’s happening to them.”

The Obama campaign’s response could be politely summarized as “bite me,” which seems appropriate.

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If this isn’t the greatest meme of the 2012 election season…

There’s been a bit of a blowup over presumptive Republican presidential nominee Willard Mitt Romney’s refusal to disclose more than the last two years of tax returns which, he points out, is more than is required by law. Because what we really want in a president is somehow who does just above the bare minimum. Anyway, it led to this meme, which I admit made me LOL quite a bit:

20120717-082947.jpg

Charles Pierce hit on a very important point in Esquire, which may explain the whole debacle:

There is nothing in those tax returns that is in any way illegal. Certainly, there is within them probably a fairly clear illustration about how our tax code — and, indeed, our entire economic system — has been gamed to benefit the folks in Romney’s economic stratum, but that’s hardly a secret anymore. As Paul Krugman said in this morning’s New York Times, that’s what this whole election is going to be about, whether the two candidates like it or not. And I don’t think Romney’s trying to keep secret how much money he’s kicked back to his church, either. Anybody who’s bothered by that is bothered on theological and cultural grounds. All recent evidence to the contrary, Romney’s people, and Romney himself, are not stupid. They know all this as well as anyone else does. He is not fighting the release of these returns to keep us from finding out the dark secrets about how stupid-wealthy he and his family are. He is fighting the release of these returns because he doesn’t think he should have to release them.

It is helpful always to remind yourself that, in the mind of Willard Romney, there are only two kinds of people — himself and his family, and The Help. Throughout his career, and especially throughout his brief political career, Romney has treated The Help with a kind of lordly disdain. It was there when he swooped down from snowy Olympus and shoved an incumbent Republican governor named Jane Swift under a train. It was there in the general election in 2002, when he glibly pushed aside the Democratic candidate, state treasurer Shannon O’Brien, who raised almost all the same issues against Romney that the president and his people are belaboring him with today. The only time it didn’t work was in his race against Senator Edward Kennedy, when Romney found himself up against a candidate with so much money that he couldn’t outspend him, and so much historical gravitas that he couldn’t ignore him.

The Help has no right to go pawing through the family books, giggling at the obvious loopholes and tax dodges, running amok through all the tax shelters, and probably getting their chocolate-y fingerprints all over the pages of the Romney family ledger. And, certainly, those members of The Help in the employ of the president of the United States, who is also part of The Help, have no right to use the nearly comically ostentatious wealth of the Romney as some sort of scrimey political weapon. He does not have to answer to The Help. I mean, jeepers, he’s running for office.
This isn’t stubbornness. That’s often an acquired trait. What this is, fundamentally, is contempt. Contempt for the process, and contempt for the people who make their living in that process, and contempt for the people whose lives depend on that process. There are rules for The Help with which Willard Romney never has had to abide, and he has no intention of starting now. My dear young fellow, this simply is not done.

Because I’m lazy, and because there isn’t much I can add on the silliness of this whole issue, here are some blogs I would have linked to had I written out a full post on this:

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My First Thoughts on the Supreme Court’s Health Care Decision

Last week, House Majority Leader John Boehner issued a plea to Republicans et al not to “spike the ball” should the Court strike down the law. It was a magnanimous, if futile gesture. Rush Limbaugh, never letting an opportunity to issue jowly gloats slide, admonished his followers to keep doing what they do best (i.e. commit mass asshattery). Here is what I imagine their ball-spiking party looks like today:

1241261617_football-fail(Source: GIF and video)

I’m surprised, first of all, at the way the vote split. The opinion just posted to the Supreme Court’s site, and I have not had a chance to read all 193 pages (go figure). I’m uploading a copy of the opinion below, if anyone wants to indulge.

Treating the individual mandate as a tax is an interesting outcome. I thought the Commerce Clause arguments were pretty solid, given precedent (stare decisis: look it up and explain it to Justice Scalia, please.)

At the moment, I doubt anyone outside the court itself has read the opinion, unless they have mad speed-reading skillz. It will be several days before there is any meaningful analysis or commentary. I will be ignoring the media drivel. If I can get around to it, I’ll delve into the topic some more.

Opinion of the Court, National Federation of Independent Business v. Sebelius, Supreme Court of the United States, June 28, 2012

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