(Written in October 2012, not published until now.)

After watching Argo, the new thriller about a daring rescue during the Iranian hostage crisis of 1979-80, I could not help but ponder how different the story would have been had any of the characters had cell phones. (SPOILERS AHEAD!!!)

For starters, those Iranian guards at the airport would have had to do far less running. If I had to guess, I would say about 40% of the dramatic tension of the film was related to someone trying to call someone else on the phone, but that person had stepped away for one reason or another. Argo is practically a collaborative commercial for AT&T, T-Mobile, and Verizon.

“This guy is going to go to Val Verde with you, and he’s going to call us every 20 minutes from the in-flight phone. So don’t even think about breaking his neck, covering him with a blanket, and sneaking off the plane during takeoff.” (Via theoneliner.com.)

At any rate, modern technology has rendered more than a few classic films moot. Had Sully possessed a cell phone in the 1985 epic Commando, then the chase scene that provided much of the film’s backbone (prior to the final mass carnage montage, of course) would have been unnecessary. Rather than run to find a pay phone with Schwarzenegger on his tail, he could have texted “kill girl” to the other bad guys, and the movie would have been over within the first 45 minutes.

Here are some other films made redundant by cell phones: