Don’t take my Thin Mints!!!!!

US Navy 070609-N-6897L-018 Navy Cargo Handling Battalion 8 assists hundreds of Girl Scouts from Westchester and Putnam counties in New York load more than 33,000 boxes of cookies as part of Operation Cookie DropI’m the kind of guy who, in the vicinity of a table where someone is selling Girl Scout cookies, is guaranteed to leave the premises with an amount of Girl Scout Cookie boxes equal in value to the total amount of cash on my person just prior to noticing the table of cookies. I was shocked, shocked, to learn that Girl Scout Daisy Troop #2753 in California says it will not be selling cookies anymore:

Who can resist the allure of a girl scout cookie? We all should, says one troop leader and mom of three from southern California. Monica Serratos, troop leader of Girl Scout Daisy Troop #2753, says her troop is opting out of selling Girl Scout cookies this year and will instead celebrate the Girl Scouts 100th anniversary by displaying a “cake” made of fruit at the Orange County Fair on July 27.

Serratos, 31, said she wanted to call attention to the fact that cookies aren’t good for kids who already get too much sugar at school and at home, so she asked other troop parents to talk with their daughters about the issue.

***

Serratos said she also worries about some of the ingredients in Girl Scout cookies, such as palm oil — the production of which leads to deforestation.

Okay, yes, they have a lot of sugar. Some of them have high fructose corn syrup and trans fats. Some of the cookies have mysterious GM ingredients, although I would hope to serve as living proof that eating one’s weight in Girl Scout cookies will not turn you into a betentacled supervillain (that might not be the primary concern of most people where GMO’s are concerned, but it is for me. Don’t judge.)

You have to understand, Girl Scouts, that I am in the “bargaining” stage of the grief process, perhaps tinged with a bit of denial. What can we do to save the cookies? If it is a concern over high fructose corn syrup, couldn’t we just eliminate it from some other part of our diets to balance things out? I almost never drink non-diet soft drinks, minimizing my HFC exposure. I avoid trans fats, too, whenever possible. What if we convinced everyone in the world to stop using shortening in anything but your cookies? Would that balance the scales in childhood health?

Please, just tell me what to do!!!!!!!

Photo credit: ‘US Navy 070609-N-6897L-018 Navy Cargo Handling Battalion 8 assists hundreds of Girl Scouts from Westchester and Putnam counties in New York load more than 33,000 boxes of cookies as part of Operation Cookie Drop’ by U.S. Navy photo by Lt. Lesley Lykins [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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Kashi, hast thou forsaken me?

Kashi GOLEAN cereal is pretty much a staple of my breakfast routine, in large part because it is one of the only cereals available at Costco that doesn’t have a year’s worth of sugar in each serving (although it still has quite a bit). Also, it has protein and is probably the closest thing to a “healthy” breakfast cereal that doesn’t require actual cooking (because I am lazy in the morning and it is all I can do to make coffee). I have never had any illusions that GOLEAN cereal is in any particular way “natural,” since that is a vague enough adjective to be meaningless and it only takes one look at the cereal sitting in a bowl to see that nothing quite like it occurs in nature (absent industrial-scale intervention, I mean).

A photo making its way around Facebook today depicts a sign at a Rhode Island “natural” food grocery explaining why they have removed all Kashi products from their shelves:

Where's My Kashi?! by Nancy Wilson [Fair use] via Facebook

You might be wondering where your favorite Kashi cereals have gone.
It has recently come to our attention that 100% of the soy used in Kashi products is Genetically Modified, and that when the USDA tested the grains used there were found to be pesticides that are known carcinogens and hormone disruptors.

Whoa. So, what exactly does that mean? Calling something “Genetically Modified,” or “GM,” particularly when the words are written in title case, is often enough to send many people running for the hills. GM food is scary to many people, because it is so poorly understood and unfamiliar, because it often represents corporate malfeasance and greed, and because we often have little to no idea what the hell is in our food. I would like to learn a bit more about Kashi, and about the whole GM thing, before I set fire to my remaining GOLEAN Crunch.

WTF does “natural” mean in this context?

'Hostess Twinkies' by Evan-Amos (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons

These actually grow on Twinkie trees

As Vivian Ward might respond, what do you want it to mean? Unlike “organic,” there is no legal standard for use of the word “natural” in food marketing or pretty much anywhere. It tends to evoke a sense of “not overly processed through mass industry,” a process that gives us Twinkies and McDonald’s french fries. To produce anything for public retail distribution requires some industrial processes (unless you buy all of your food at farmers’ markets, in which case you live a life of remarkable privilege and have little in common with most of the rest of America). How much processing is too much? I pick on Twinkies because they are about as far from “natural” as one can get (full disclosure: I love Twinkies), but really, unless you want to consume all of your groceries within two hours of purchasing them, you need some amount of processing just to function in our society.

WTF does GM mean at all? “Genetically Modified” covers a wide range of processes, some innocuous, some insidious, and some downright disquieting.

'Inside a wild-type banana' by Warut Roonguthai (Own work) [GFDL (www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Uh, yum?

Humans have been genetically modifying food since the dawn of agriculture, so the mere fact of “genetic modification” should not frighten anyone. Corn and bananas are two excellent examples. Corn was derived from a grass native to Mesoamerica called teosinte, which is inedible and bears no physical resemblance to corn at all. Bananas, originally from southeast Asia, developed from giant, inedible seed pods into the fruit we know today, thanks to human intervention. On the animal side, ponder how long a chicken could survive in the wild, and whether it ever would have survived as a species this long if it had evolved to its present form purely “naturally.”

That brings us to modern-day “Genetic Modification.” Again, this covers a wide range of processes, all of which ought to be better-explained to the public, but some of which are no cause for major concern. Since I am not a scientist, I rely on dumbed-down sources to understand this stuff (thank you, Wikipedia, et al). The two major methods of GM’ing food in modern terms is cisgenesis and transgenesis. Cisgenesis involves transferring genes between similar organisms, essentially speeding up a breeding process that could occur “naturally.” Transgenesis involves inserting genes from a different species, creating something akin to a hybrid (or mutant) organism. Continue reading

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Fun word of the day: Sphygmomanometer

Sphygmomanometer&CuffIt’s more commonly known as the “blood pressure thingie.”

A sphygmomanometer or blood pressure meter (also referred to as a sphygmometer) is a device used to measure blood pressure, composed of an inflatable cuff to restrict blood flow, and a mercury or mechanical manometer to measure the pressure. It is always used in conjunction with a means to determine at what pressure blood flow is just starting, and at what pressure it is unimpeded. Manual sphygmomanometers are used in conjunction with a stethoscope.

The word comes from the Greeksphygmós (pulse), plus the scientific term manometer (pressure meter). The device was invented by Samuel Siegfried Karl Ritter von Basch in 1881.Scipione Riva-Rocci introduced a more easily used version in 1896. In 1901, Harvey Cushing modernized the device and popularized it within the medical community.

A sphygmomanometer consists of an inflatable cuff, a measuring unit (the mercury manometer, or aneroid gauge), and inflation bulb and valve, for manual instruments. [Citations omitted]

Here endeth the lesson. Just don’t ask me to pronounce it.

Photo credit: Sphygmomanometer&Cuff by ML5 at en.wikipedia [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

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