Tag Archives: Formula 1

Austin Scares Itself Quiet

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First_lap_2001_Canada

If they can do it in Canada, we can do it here, eh?

For months now, we have heard about how thousands upon thousands of ritzy foreigners will be descending on Austin this weekend for the F1 races, and the havoc that this will play on an already stressed transportation grid. As a result, at least judging from social media chatter, many, many locals decided it would be best to just stay in.

Amusingly, this led to what appeared to be a very quiet downtown Austin. Whatever extra traffic appeared thanks to the addition of Euro racing fans was offset by a lack of Austinites. Well, that’s my unscientific theory, anyway. Aside from a noticeably higher volume of helicopter traffic, the roads were smooth sailing between at least 6 and 11 p.m. last night. I’m not sure how crowded Rainey Street normally is, since it is not part of my regular social rotation, but finding price-gouged parking was quite easy, and getting out of the parking lot later in the night was also easy.

It wasn’t just Rainey Street, either. If Twitter is any indication, the West Sixth Street and Red River scenes were both quiet as well.

My advice to you, Austinites, is to get back out there. We are allegedly overwhelmed by obscenely wealthy foreigners who are trying to decide if Austin is a good market on which to drop a buttload of money. If this city can handle more than a week of South by Southwest traffic, we can handle two days of F1. Get back out there and be weird.

Photo credit: “First lap 2001 Canada” by Paul Lannuier from Sussex, NJ, USA (Lap 1) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 or CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons.

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Austin Hits the Big Time: The Phelps Are Coming to Town!!!

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god-hates-fags-60-fuck-this-guy

Via signsoflaughter.com

The city of Austin should be engorged with pride to know that we have reached a sufficient level of pride, not only to attract the international allure of Formula 1 racing, but also the brilliant performance art of Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Players. (h/t Russell)

[WARNING: I’m in an extra sarcastic mood, so I kind of let loose verbally in this post. If you don’t want to read multiple alternatives to the word “penis,” you might not want to continue beyond this point.]

The Austin Chronicle gives us their media release explaining the crux of their upcoming performance:

WBC will picket Formula 1 racing at The Circuit of The Americas in Austin, TX to remind this nation that God hates the vwicked people of this land of vain idolaters and that they shall be turned into Hell. These sporting events resemble the patriotic worship-the-flag pep rallies masquerading as sodlier’s funerals in that this Bible-ignorant fools worship these race car drivers like they are little gods! Shame on these people for worshipping these athletes instead of following the plain commandments of their God. They ought to obey today before it is too late. WBC knows they will not, never the less, we will kindly warn them to flee the wrath to come. These are the last days of all, Doomed america. Wake up before you find yourselves cast into the deep pit of endless fire! [sic]

Note the strategically-placed spelling errors and the avante garde disregard for pedestrian grammar rules. Yes, the Phelps clan will be bringing their unique artistic stylings to the Circuit of the Americas, where they can spread their message of Dadaist non-conformity to the elite racing fans of Europe and other places where people have enough money to charter their own helicopters. Continue reading →

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