election | Cryptic Philosopher

I’m exaggerating, sort of. It seems the police had to intervene on Saturday in an altercation between some Ron Paul supporters (or Ronulans, as they are sometimes known) and local Republican leaders outside St. Louis:

Police and organizers shut down proceedings at one of Missouri’s largest caucuses today, as Ron Paul supporters feuded with local GOP leaders.

“It’s like the Hatfields and the McCoys around here,” St. Charles County’s former GOP chairman told ABC News, after police arrived on-scene with a helicopter and removed Paul backers.

In St. Charles, an exurb of St. Louis and one of the state’s largest GOP counties, Paul supporters sought to elect their own chairman and adopt their own rules when proceedings opened — both of which are part of standard caucus rules and procedure. But as they argued with the caucus chair, Paul supporters held video cameras — against caucus rules, according to a GOP official who was there — and things became contentious.

“It turned into a little food fight within the caucus, between the caucus chairman trying to control the caucus and certain elements, I guess with Ron Paul, trying to be heard,” said Tom Kipers, a former chairman of the St. Charles GOP, who attended the caucus at Francis Howell North High School.

An off-duty police officer, hired as security, eventually filed a trespassing complaint against the Paul supporters and notified on-duty police in the area municipality of St. Peters, who, along with police from other jurisdictions, arrested two Paul supporters and ended the caucuses early. A joint-jurisdictional police helicopter arrived on the scene. Kipers said about 10 officers arrived in total.

“Two people were arrested for trespassing after receiving numerous warnings to leave the school property,” the St. Peters police said in a press release. “Both subjects were transported to St. Peters Justice Center where they were booked for Trespassing and released on a summons.”

Seriously, how far are we from sticking the remaining candidates into Thunderdome and waiting until one man leaves?

Photo credit: Southern Chivalry – Argument versus Club [PD-US] at Wikimedia Commons.

Pete Reynolds at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency takes a look at Republican exit polls, and the results are quite revealing. Excerpts follow. Prepare to be shocked, appalled, dazzled, and pwned:

Nearly 60% of those who have nicknamed a body part voted for Newt Gingrich.

Ron Paul was the choice of 72% of voters who have fired a crossbow at a ferret.

People who hired Peter Cetera to sing at their wedding overwhelmingly supported Mitt Romney.

Ron Paul was backed by three-quarters of the voters who purchase their meat from the trunk of a car.

Romney won among people who blog about board games.

Gingrich won a majority of voters who regularly send back hash browns.

Ron Paul won 63% of voters who have accidentally baked their car keys into a pie.

Romney took 88% of the votes among people whose primary issue was yacht parking.

Of those who thought President Obama was not humanity’s largest threat, 96% were just passing by the polling place on their way to Whole Foods.

It is worth reading the whole piece. Unless you are someone who actually takes this field of Republican presidential contenders seriously as anything besides a threat to our nation’s reputation as a nation not full of idiots. If this is the case, please move along quietly, and try not to touch anything.

Cryptic Philosopher

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Tag Archives: election

The Republican primaries go all Hunger Games on us

Because it is time for a chuckle, dangit