Earlier this year, I authored a post entitled “5 Tips for Successful Blogging,” in which I offered advice based on my years of experience remembering to put food in my mouth and not my nose.

It seems as though other self-styled “experts” are still out there, offering their own bits of sage advice, but still missing the most important aspects of being an effective blogger. So, here are five more tips that I can offer the bloggers of today and tomorrow. Technology keeps advancing every day, so all of this may be obsolete by the time you finish this

New technology has made blogging even easier, only requiring the parts of your brain that aren’t watching those judge shows on Fox every morning. Here are five tips for successful blogging for the bloggers of today and tomorrow.

1. Carpal tunnel syndrome continues to be a major problem for office workers around the world. You can delay the onset of carpal tunnel syndrome by refusing to learn how to type, and using only your two index fingers (or the nearest available fingers.)

2. Sirius, also known as the “dog star,” is approximately 8.6 light years from Earth. Factor that into your marketing plan.

3. The keys on your keyboard should face up (unless you practice inverted blogging, in which case there is nothing more I can teach you.)

4. Tardigrades, also known as “water bears,” are a terrible target demographic for most bloggers. Studies have shown that tardigrades have little interest in most blog topics, with the as-yet unexplained exception of Gaelic football.

I think it wants to hug you!

Photo credit: By Goldstein lab – tardigrades (originally posted to Flickr as water bear) [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons.