Oh gibbon, you are gonna get it one of these days…
Monday Morning Cute: It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses a Prehensile Tail
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Tag Archives: animated gif
From beneath you, it devours…
In honor of Shark Week 2012, the good folks at Mashable have compiled a collection of GIFs highlighting the second-most-terrifying animal on earth (at least to me, and I’m damned if I’m telling you what the first one is.) Here’s my, uh, favorite:
At the opposite end of the mood spectrum, we have this GIF of a goblin shark attack. However terrifying most sharks may be, they don’t generally unhinge their entire faces and eject a jaw full of barbed teeth straight into their targets. Goblin sharks, as you can see, are a little different. Their elongated snouts contain highly sensitive electromagnetic sensors, which help them find prey in the blackness of the deepest ocean bottoms, where they dwell.
This video of a goblin shark in the wild comes from the Japanese broadcast of NHK Tokushuu on Aug. 31, 2008. Uploaded to GIFBin, it’s had 198 Facebook shares and more than 14,000 stumbles, from which we can draw certain demographic conclusions about the kind of people on Facebook vs the kind on Stumbleupon
Yes, that is indeed terrifying. What do you think, Jones the cat?
Monday Morning Cute: Anteater Has No Time for Your Shenanigans
Monday Morning Cute: Owl Family
What I can’t figure out is if these guys are the Sharks or the Jets.
Monday Morning Cute: Bold Penguin
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, little penguin.
I shall not let slide this slanderous slut-shaming of sloths!
Hoffman’s two-toed sloths have active sex lives, according to the BBC. MSN Now calls them “slutty.”
More power to them, I say!
My First Thoughts on the Supreme Court’s Health Care Decision
Last week, House Majority Leader John Boehner issued a plea to Republicans et al not to “spike the ball” should the Court strike down the law. It was a magnanimous, if futile gesture. Rush Limbaugh, never letting an opportunity to issue jowly gloats slide, admonished his followers to keep doing what they do best (i.e. commit mass asshattery). Here is what I imagine their ball-spiking party looks like today:
I’m surprised, first of all, at the way the vote split. The opinion just posted to the Supreme Court’s site, and I have not had a chance to read all 193 pages (go figure). I’m uploading a copy of the opinion below, if anyone wants to indulge.
Treating the individual mandate as a tax is an interesting outcome. I thought the Commerce Clause arguments were pretty solid, given precedent (stare decisis: look it up and explain it to Justice Scalia, please.)
At the moment, I doubt anyone outside the court itself has read the opinion, unless they have mad speed-reading skillz. It will be several days before there is any meaningful analysis or commentary. I will be ignoring the media drivel. If I can get around to it, I’ll delve into the topic some more.
Opinion of the Court, National Federation of Independent Business v. Sebelius, Supreme Court of the United States, June 28, 2012
Still creepy, but slightly less so
Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton turned 20 this past Sunday. That makes her 41.6% of the age of Elle Macpherson.
(Yes, I have a calculator, Wikipedia, and a powerful capacity for procrastination, and I am not afraid to use any of them.)
She is no longer a teenager, so everyone’s fascination with her is slightly less creepy. I still think that she mostly looks dazed in her photos.
But it’s still rather creepy.
An Open Letter to People Who Send Anonymous Death Threats
I don’t care who your target is: you are wasting oxygen, and it is highly likely that your original genetic material would have been better served as the contents of a flushed condom. I am specifically referring to the dipshits currently threatening the guy who got George Zimmerman’s old phone number. I am hardly one of Zimmerman’s fans, so I hope this serves as evidence that I condemn death threats sent to anybody. The following advice applies to anyone who would seek to threaten people in such a way: please stop using biomass immediately. This is not a death threat, because I have no interest in being anywhere near you, nor would you be worth the effort, whoever you are.
To put it in a more graphical form:
Photo credit: I don’t know. I found it here.
Don’t look in the closet…
Just don’t.
You looked, didn’t you?
Now try to look away. Just try……