The term “alternative lifestyle” has come up several times recently in social media discussions, generally in reference to LGBTQ individuals who are actually just trying to live their lives and not bother the person who thinks they are alternative. I realized that I hadn’t seen or heard that term in a while, which is at least partly due to my own self-selection of media sources, and the company I keep. It raises the question, though, of “alternative” to what, exactly?

In my own opinion, I lead a pretty “mainstream” life. I’m married to a woman, we own a house together, she commutes to work every morning, and I work via the internet. To others, though, my life may look pretty wacky. I don’t go to church, ever, on account of being an atheist. I occasionally do improv comedy and hang around with improvisers. I have about 20-24 hours’ worth of tattoo work on my body. I’m sure to someone somewhere, I seem sort of “alternative.” Going to church all the time and worrying about how God (or whichever god) might view my daily decisions—a lifestyle I used to lead—seems pretty “alternative” to me now, because it is different from my daily experience.

Referring to something as an alternative lifestyle suggests that the speaker views their own lifestyle as normal, standard, or preferable. To me, a truly “alternative” lifestyle might be someone who keeps a flock of ostriches on their property and makes them attend daily afternoon tea. One could raise legitimate concerns about such a lifestyle regarding, inter alia, public health and humane treatment of wildlife.

Now please, stop obsessing over the personal lives of grown, consenting adults who simply love one another differently than you, and go save some ostriches.

Photo credit: Tony Wills [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons.