Sometimes they’re patently frivolous, and sometimes they’re not.
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This Week in WTF, December 20, 2013
– The balance on his mortgage vastly exceeded the number of fucks he gave: A Bulgarian man was about to lose his house to foreclosure. Since the bank’s lien only covered the house, not the land, he decided to deliver the house to them—in pieces.
– Also giving no fucks (so to speak): In England, a man was arrested for driving while naked and while, uh, otherwise occupied. His lawyer gets props for his willingness to seriously push that fine line between “explanation” and “excuse”:
DRIVING ON a busy 100kmh [60 mph for us Yankees -CP] road normally requires two hands on the steering wheel.
But Neal Marshall was caught masturbating, and totally naked, while driving along the M56 motorway, in Chester, England, the Chester Chronicle reported.
Marshall’s solicitor [that’s English for “lawyer” -CP] Adrian Evans told Chester Magistrates Court today (AEDT) that his 49-year-old client got “carried away” when engaged in a “messaging conversation”.
“This does not excuse his actions but it goes a way to explain why he was seen doing it,” said Mr Evans.
“He bitterly regrets his actions. He never intended to be seen by a member of the public.”
– Different from a “food baby”: This week I learned that a “stone baby” is an actual thing (h/t Jason).
– You heard it here: “Remote-controlled cyborg sperm.”
– This week in neologisms: From io9, I learned the word “hankle.”
Let’s See if 42% of Republicans Understand the Meaning of the Word “Verify”
Via Talking Points Memo:
Forty two percent of Republicans believe Santa Claus is not just white but “verifiably white,” while 23 percent said he is not, according to the poll. Only 24 percent of Democrats, on the other hand, said he was “verifiably white” while 48 percent said he is not.
I have two thoughts on this.
First, I guess there is some truth to the notion that “both sides do it,” at least when applied to naïve stupidity. Republicans are still much better at it.
Second, I urge those 42% of Republicans (and the 24% of a Democrats because why not?) to put their money where their mouths are and verify that Santa is white.
I don’t care if you have to travel by one of those icebreaker ships, a dogsled, or on the back of a polar bear somehow, but get your asses to the North Pole and show us the Claus.
Seriously, pics or GTFO.
Remembering That Other European Mass-Murdering Despot
King Leopold II of Belgium, to phrase it in an understated fashion, was not a good person. It is important to remember that (h/t Erik Loomis):
Today [December 17] is the 104th anniversary of the death of Belgium’s King Leopold II. The book [Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness] made me loathe this greedy man who was, like many Kings of his era, a spoiled, insecure and violent maniac. Belgium, unlike its neighbors, didn’t control many colonies. Of course, Leopold thought, how could a country be influential if it didn’t have darker peoples under its boot (It should be noted, however, that Leopold’s invasion of the Congo started off as a personal investment, which makes it even more heinous). The despot’s nefarious forces, dubbed the Force Publique, invaded the Congo Free State and unleashed a horror many of us can’t even fathom. The invaders raped Congolese women, destroyed homes and villages, sucked vital resources rubber and ivory) from the country and, more infamously as shown above [I used a different picture -CP], cut off the hands of native peoples to intimidate those who didn’t produce enough rubber to meet the quota or to show military superiors that bullets hadn’t been wasted on, gasp–wait for it, animals. Those beautiful black hands, by the way, are still a presence in Belgium. I was in Brussels several years ago and a candy shop, near the European Commission’s headquarters, was selling chocolate hands. No other customer seemed to recognize the odious irony of it all. But, then again, that’s Europe for you: a lovely and historically rich continent spectacularly ignorant of its role in multiple genocides. Continue reading
That’s My State Senator!
From a letter sent by Texas State Senator Kirk Watson to U.S. Representatives Darrell Issa and Elijah Cummings on December 16, 2013 regarding a House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform hearing about healthcare navigators in Richardson, Texas:
We’re tired of the politics, Chairman Issa. We’re tired of folks who show up peddling cynicism to run up political points at the expense of our neighbors who need health insurance. We’re tired of people who invent a conflict between keeping Texans healthy AND protecting Texas consumers. I passed a bill during the legislative session that sought to do both of these things; more people should follow that example.
Stubbornly refusing to help folks who need health insurance is wrong. So is targeting honest folks who are helping Texans find health insurance. There’s plenty of common ground on this issue. As long as you’re here, I hope you’ll help us find it.
If you’re not going to do that, you should just go home.
I Find This Highly Amusing for Some Reason
![By carmichaellibrary (Student Book ArtUploaded by AlbertHerring) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons](http://crypticphilosopher.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Student_Book_Art_1472687855-1.jpg "By carmichaellibrary (Student Book ArtUploaded by AlbertHerring) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons")
Click to embiggen.
Isabelle, our new, unofficial library mascot. On loan from a student artist.
I definitely do enjoy self-referential art.
Photo credit: By carmichaellibrary (Student Book Art. Uploaded by AlbertHerring) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons.
The Wrong Side of History
I sincerely hope that history will mock these people:
The Harris County GOP sued the City of Houston on Tuesday, challenging Mayor Annise Parker’s decision to extend health and life insurance benefits to legally married same-sex couples whose marriages have been recognized in states with marriage equality laws.
The new policy has been put on hold by District Judge Lisa Millard after signing a temporary restraining order. The policy won’t go before a judge until after New Year’s Day, on Jan. 6, 2014.
Jared Woodfill, the chairman of the Harris County GOP, is leading the lawsuit. “This is one of the most egregious acts by an elected official I’ve ever seen,” said Woodfill. “They just decided to, unilaterally, as a lame duck, thumb their nose at the will of the people and just spit on the U.S. Constitution.”
Where exactly in the U.S. Constitution does it say gay marriage is illegal remains to be mystery.
The Most Dedicated Landowners in North America, Perhaps
In downtown San Antonio, a small church sits surrounded on three sides by a large, looming, currently vacant department store building. Back in 1945, local department store Joske’s wanted to expand, but St. Joseph’s Catholic Church refused to sell. The store build all around it, gaining the church the nickname “St. Joske’s.” Dillards bought Joske’s back in the ’80s, and closed the store in 2008.
![Clipper471 [Public domain], via Wikipedia](http://crypticphilosopher.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/St_Josephpt.jpg "Clipper471 [Public domain], via Wikipedia")
Growing up in San Antonio, I always sort of admired St. Joseph’s for sticking to their guns (it is Texas, after all) and not taking Joske’s crap. I recently learned of a far more epic example of refusing to move, even as the surrounding area changes, with even more noxious neighbors (pun intended). The story takes place in Sarnia, Ontario, not far across the border from Detroit, Michigan. Sarnia is reportedly home to forty percent of Canada’s chemical industry, and boasts the country’s most polluted air. In the midst of this, we find people who ain’t moving:
Nestled inside this giant ring of chemical production, surrounded on all sides by industrial plants, sits a First Nations reservation called Aamjiwnaang where about 850 Chippewa have lived for over 300 years. Aamjiwnaang was originally a Chippewa hunting ground, but the area was turned into a First Nations reserve in 1827, after the British government snatched up an enormous amount of Native land. Today, it’s one of the most singularly poisonous locations in North America, yet neither the local nor the national government has announced any plan to launch a health study to properly investigate the side effects that are hurting the local residents, who inhale the Chemical Valley’s emissions every time they step outside.
They really are surrounded on all sides by industry, and the San Antonio really doesn’t even compare to their plight. Unlike the parishioners of St. Joske’s, the people of the Aamjiwnaang First Nation face potentially life-threatening health problems. Hormone-blocking effects of the chemicals might be responsible for the community’s unusual two-to-one female-to-male birth ratio. Since 2002, the community has been fighting back. You can keep up with them on Facebook.
Photo credit: Clipper471 [Public domain], via Wikipedia.
Bacon Emoji
Inspired by Austin Java’s tweet to me (after I praised their bacon), I thought I’d see if anyone has invented a bacon emoji. I have no use for such a thing whatsoever, but how could humanity not benefit from such knowledge?
Anyway, all paeans to my inevitable historical legacy aside, I found emojis (or emoticons, or whatever) for bacon and eggs: 
🍳
Please go on about your business.
Snow in Egypt
An historic snowfall in Cairo does not prove by itself that global warming is some sort of hoax, but that won’t stop certain people from saying so anyway. It is important to remember that at this point in history those people’s miscomprehension of climate science is a conscious choice on their part. Ed Brayton explains further.