This Is a Man’s Iced Coffee

It’s tough being a man in today’s world, right, fellas? I mean, threats to our masculinity are everywhere, and as everyone knows, masculinity is both all-powerful and more delicate than the finest porcelain china. Stare too long at the color pink, and risk the whole thing shattering around you. Then, once your masculinity is gone, all you can do is, uh…..

Well, I actually have no idea because everything I just said is ridiculous bullshit.

Anyway, a dilemma for many men is this: How can they enjoy iced coffee without drawing the attention of insecure sad sacks who think iced coffee isn’t sufficiently manly to meet some arbitrary standard?

You could ignore the sad sacks in favor of people who might actually be interesting, or you could drink iced coffee specially formulated for men (or at least cynically marketed to them):

(h/t cait)

Yes, that’s right, fellas—lest we forget, “man” is a job title.

What does the job of “man” entail? Fuck if I know, but I know for damn sure that froofy coffee drinks ain’t part of it, amirite???

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Monday Morning Cute: Come Play with Us…….

Perhaps this dog is right to be wary of these kittens….

Come play with us……furever and ever…….


See also:

Sources: x, x, x

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How Russia Could Conquer the World

Just send in a bunch of singers like her:

The video title, “Офигенный голос,” simply means “awesome voice” in Russian. Continue reading

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Movie Magic…..in Siberia

Consider my mind blown by this:

(Via plightfilight on Imgur.)

In case you’re wondering what the sign says, according to a commenter: Continue reading

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The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same

Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And, but for the interference with his arrangement, there would be no cause for such marriage. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.

Judge Leon M. Bazile (1965)
denying the motion of Richard and Mildred Loving to vacate their conviction for miscegenation

If Chief Justice Warren and his associates had known God’s word and had desired to do the Lord’s will, I am quite confident that the 1954 decision would never have been made. The facilities should be separate. When God has drawn the line of distinction, we should not attempt to cross that line.

Rev. Jerry Falwell
“Segregation or Integration: Which?” (1958) Continue reading

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This Week in WTF, July 17, 2015

– Everyone does romance in their own way: Cats purr to indicate happiness and contentment—or whatever passes for those in the warped mind of a cat, anyway. Humans purr, for the most part, to imitate cats in a semi-sarcastic manner. Now we know that some species of spider make purring noises as a form of seduction—except not ironically, the way humans might (indirect h/t Alice). Spiders don’t have ears, though, so they actually do it for the vibrations. You can make your own joke about that last bit.

Personally, I like to think that spiders are learning all of our best movie quotes from the tactile impact of sound waves coming from televisions, and repeating them to each other in spider code.

"Adult female Phidippus audax jumping spider in Nashville, Tennessee" by Kaldari (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons, modified by me (dialogue from "Say Anything")

– Today in “not a scene from a Japanese horror film”: A mom is seen pushing her son in a swing. For a rather long period of time. Possibly since the previous evening. Turns out her son is dead. She didn’t seem fully aware of this, though. I’m not going to make any jokes here.

– “Is your iPhone on fire, or are you just happy to see me?”: A man in New York claims that he suffered severe leg burns after his iPhone 5c exploded in his pocket. I’m glad I skipped the 5 and went straight from 4s to 6. Continue reading

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Gender-Based Assumptions About My Dog (UPDATED)

My dog and I recently celebrated our eighth adopt-a-versary. Since I also treat that day as her birthday, and the vet estimated that she was about two years old when I got her, that means that last month was her tenth birthday. She has been recovering from knee surgery since early June, so it was a very low-key celebration. I do plan on doing a bit more to celebrate when she’s off restricted duty.

She likes to sleep a lot anyway, so her "light duty" assignment works out okay most of the time.

She likes to sleep a lot anyway, so her “light duty” assignment works out okay most of the time.

Since she has been confined to a crate for more than a month, and since we have had numerous people coming and going through our house for various reasons (e.g. the squirrel urine problem that I still don’t want to talk about here), I have noticed something that has always happened, but that happens much more frequently under the present circumstances. To paraphrase a typical exchange with a visitor, in dramatic form: Continue reading

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Happy Bastille Day!

In honor of Bastille Day, here’s some classic Rush:

Now, go reflect on France, or learn to speak French, or whatever it is people do on Bastille Day. Here’s the Eiffel Tower with fireworks: Continue reading

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Monday Morning Cute: Dog vs. Deer

This is how I imagine this conversation going down:

HELLO LONG-LEGGED DOG LET’S PLAY!!!

Dangit, dog, for the last time, I’m a deer, and I don’t feel like playing. I’m trying to eat this overgrown shrub.

You’re just gonna keep standing there until I play with you, aren’t you? [Sigh.]

YOU CAN’T CATCH ME LONG-LEGGED DOG I AM TOO FAST!!!

Dog, I’m not going to—oh hell no! Continue reading

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