Geography for TSA Agents: The District of Columbia (UPDATED)

Posted on July 18, 2014 by wellsdc

This is a service offered by Cryptic Philosopher, free of charge, for agents of the federal Transportation Safety Administration (TSA), due to recent reports of some confusion among TSA airport security screeners regarding certain areas of the United States. Today, we will be discussing the District of Columbia.

The District of Columbia (or “DC” for short) is a 68.3 square-mile district located on the north banks of the Potomac River. It is surrounded on three sides by the state of Maryland, and it borders the state of Virginia along the Potomac.
It is also known as Washington; Washington, DC; “the District;” or simply “DC.”
The District is divided into four quadrants: northwest, northeast, southwest, and southeast, with the U.S. Capitol at the center of the dividing lines.
It is not part of any of the fifty U.S. states (Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, and so on through Wyoming.) The United States Constitution, in Article I, Section 8, Clause 17, gives Congress authority over a federal district to serve as the “Seat of Government of the United States,” which can be no bigger than “ten Miles square,” or one hundred square miles.
Congress passed the Residence Act in 1790, which our first president, George Washington, signed into law on July 16 of that year. That law allowed the creation of a federal capital along the Potomac River, although President Washington got to decide exactly where.

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Homophobes Doth Protest Too Much

Posted on July 18, 2014 by wellsdc

Bryan Fischer of the American Family association is upset that a Burger King in San Francisco (of all places!) is wrapping burgers in rainbow-patterned paper. For one thing, he’s concerned that this aesthetic may spread and turn hamburgers across the country gay. For another thing:

Fischer just thinks the entire thing is a disastrous marketing idea because “when people sit down to eat a hamburger, the last thing they want to be thinking about is two guys having sex.”

I’ll let Ed Brayton take it from here:

Okay, here’s the deal: If seeing rainbow-colored wrappers makes you think about guys having sex, you might just be a tad bit obsessed with gay sex. Like more obsessed with it than any gay person on earth.

This Week in WTF, July 18, 2014

Posted on July 18, 2014 by wellsdc

– In Pamplona, “recklessness” is highly relative: Police in Pamplona, Spain are reportedly seeking a man who appears to have taken a selfie while participating in the Running of the Bulls. Because that shit’s dangerous, yo.

According to the Guardian the man faces a fine of up to 3,000 euros under new regulations passed this year in Pamplona, designed to “crack down on dangerous behaviour during the festival.” Because running in front of charging, pissed-off bulls somehow doesn’t qualify as “dangerous behavior.” But throw a selfie into the mix and forget about it—now you’re just being reckless. The new rules prohibit any kind of unauthorized recording during the bull runs.

– Dangerous cosplay: I don’t know who Chun Li is, but I don’t want to mess with her.

– This may be why they call them disposable: If you wear contact lenses, you need to take them out, ideally whenever you sleep if not more often. Otherwise, amoebas might eat your corneas: Continue reading →

What I’m Reading, July 17, 2014

Posted on July 17, 2014 by wellsdc

Man mansplains that men also mansplain to men. Another man mansplains why. Ally Fogg, Heteronormative Patriarchy for Men, July 11, 2014

Where women complain about harassing and intrusive behaviour on the streets or public transport, you can always bank on some arsehole piping up “But that’s not sexism, men shout random abuse at each other too!” It’s true, they do. So it is not always sexist. Sometimes it is racist or ableist or homophobic or just plain, simple bullying. So can we cut all that out too while we’re at it?

Where women complain about feeling the threat of violence when walking outside at night, Mr Bloke can be banked on to respond “What are you complaining about? Men are much more likely to be randomly assaulted by strangers than women are.” This is also true. So can we please join with those women who are quite keen to see an end to such behaviour? Sooner than later would be good.
Or in the case in point, men use conversational exchanges not (just) to communicate, bond or exchange views and knowledge, but as a competitive sport, a test of dominance and status. It is quite true that this becomes an opportunity to establish social dominance over women (aka mansplaining) but also over other men. This is not an especially healthy trait. I’m sure we’ve all been in meetings (whether in work, politics, voluntary societies or whatever) which are dominated not by the person with the best ideas or the greatest knowledge, but the one with the most regard for the sound of (usually) his own voice. I’m dreadfully guilty of this myself, and am quite happy to acknowledge it and try to catch myself on.

The American Century is over: How our country went down in a blaze of shame, Michael Lind, Salon, July 12, 2014

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Dogs Sure Do Love to Play with Balls

Posted on July 17, 2014 by wellsdc

Dogs love to play—everyone knows that. Sometimes, though, they get a bit more than they bargained for, and the results are adorable. Take this dog, who gets 100 balls for his birthday and pretty much loses his mind (h/t Joe Veix).

There’s a cutely hilarious (I think) moment when the dog sees the giant mass of balls approaching and doesn’t know what to do. Once he realizes that they’re all for him, he calms down and begins to approach the real problem: how to play with all of them.

A few years back, another dog received the gift of many, many tennis balls. This is for all the dogs out there—may they play with all the balls: Continue reading →

What I’m Reading, July 16, 2014

Posted on July 16, 2014 by wellsdc

Right-wing “populism” is a joke: Poor-bashing, immigrant-hating and a revolting agenda, Heather Digby Parton, Salon, July 10, 2014

There are some areas of agreement among the left and right populists. They are both hostile to the “wealthy bipartisan elite” although for somewhat different reasons. It’s possible there could be some common legislative ground if both sides were sincere in their desire to rein in money in politics. But Sarah Palin’s words speak of a different priority — the visceral hostility toward immigrants and the obvious belief that they and other poor people are at the root of “workers’” problems. One certainly hopes that the poor and immigrant populations aren’t seen as chips in a negotiating session on these issues, but it wouldn’t be the first time that such devil’s bargains were made.

The real impediment to any agreement is the fact that most of the populist right is being funded and informed by the same wealthy interests they claim are destroying America with their immigrant-loving ways. These wealthy interests are actually less concerned about keeping their cheap immigrant labor (there are many ways of skinning that cat) than they are about the fact that the Republican Party is in grave danger of locking itself out of the executive branch for generations if it is seen as being overtly hostile to Latinos. They’ve invested a lot of time and money in the GOP and they do not wish to lose their grip on power simply because Sarah Palin and her friends don’t like immigrants. But there’s not much they can do about it — they’ve been stoking this right-wing populist base for decades now and that fire is now burning out of control.

Obama and the imperial presidency meme, Steve King, Death and Taxes, July 11, 2014

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Are activists in Maryland taking a bold stand against diseased birds of prey?

Posted on July 16, 2014 by wellsdc

Or are they just a colossal disappointment to English teachers everywhere?

What I’m Reading, July 15, 2014

Posted on July 15, 2014 by wellsdc

How Humanism Helps With Depression — Except When It Doesn’t, Greta Christina, Greta Christina’s Blog, July 9, 2014

As regular readers may know, I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression. My form of it is chronic and episodic: I’m not depressed all the time, I’m not even depressed most of the time, but I’ve had episodes of serious depression intermittently throughout my adult life. I had a very bad bout of it starting about a year and a half ago. I’m pulling out of it now, but my mental health is still somewhat fragile, I still have to be extra careful with my self-care routines, and I still have relapses into fairly bad episodes now and then. And I’ve been thinking lately about what it means to be a humanist with depression, and how these experiences intertwine.

For the most part, my humanism helps. For one thing, I don’t experience any religious guilt—or religious anger—over my depression. I don’t have any sense that I’m letting down my god, that I’m doing something horrible to him by feeling glum and crappy about this wonderful gift of life he’s given me. I don’t have any sense that my god is letting me down. I don’t think my depression is divine punishment or some sort of obscure lesson, and I’m not racking my brains trying to figure out what I did to deserve this. I accept that my depression is a medical condition, and I have it because of genetics, early environmental influences, and other causes and effects in the physical universe.

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” Judge Richard Kopf, Hercules and the umpire, July 11, 2014 Continue reading →

Why Do People Help Us, Exactly?

Posted on July 15, 2014 by wellsdc

We¹ seem to have great difficulty keeping our promises.

1. By “we,” I actually mean Congress, but we elect the losers.