This Week in WTF, May 15, 2015

Posted on May 15, 2015 by wellsdc

– It’s dangerous to go alone!: Video game-themed condoms were once a real thing, and maybe still are. I can’t decide which one is currently destroying my childhood the most: “Sextris,” “Donkey Schlong,” or “The Long End of Zelda.” (I’m not even sure what that last one means.)

Via zeldainformer.com

– Will that be on the test?: I’m not going to pick on this law school professor too much. I mean, who hasn’t sent a mass email to one’s students and almost accidentally sent a link to anal bead porn instead of a law blog post? She just wasn’t as lucky as the rest of us, you know? But we’ve all been there. Continue reading →

On the High Seas

Posted on May 14, 2015 by wellsdc

Bolivia, a landlocked South American country, has a navy with 173 vessels and about 5,000 personnel, despite being a landlocked country. It currently uses its navy to patrol the rivers that flow into the Amazon, as well as Lake Titicaca, which is located on Bolivia’s border with Peru. (Lake Titicaca, in addition to being the largest lake in South America, is the highest navigable lake in the world, at 12,507 feet above sea level. That’s the basis for my attempted pun in the title, since I can’t think of any puns based on the name of the lake itself.)

The country used to have a coastline, but lost it to Chile in the War of the Pacific (1879-83). Bolivia, to this day, makes no secret of the fact that it wants that land back.

The country will get its day in court sometime soon, now that the International Court of Justice (ICJ) in The Hague has agreed to hear its claim for “sovereign access to the sea” (h/t Paul). The legal case involves complicated questions of international law that you can read about on your own. Continue reading →

Who Watches the Watchmen Watching the Watched?

Posted on May 13, 2015 by wellsdc

Think about it.

A Lannister Always Spays His Pets (UPDATED)

Posted on May 12, 2015 by wellsdc

All hail King Fluffykins, First of His Name, who sits on the Potassium Throne:

To send you off into the weekend with a smile! (especially fun for Game of Thrones fans!) From the creative mind of "Wallace the Mad King"! https://www.youtube.com/c/WallaceTheMadKing

Posted by The Healthy Voyager on Friday, May 8, 2015

(h/t Jason / Andy, via The Healthy Voyager)

UPDATE (05/12/2015): The video does not seem to be embedding, and I don’t know why.

Monday Morning Cute: Cats and Dogs Doing Cat and Dog Stuff

Posted on May 11, 2015 by wellsdc

First, we have a few cat GIFs I found on Tumblr (h/t Sarah Jeong).

just realized i’m basically a PUA but for cats. i’m a nice girl, why can’t i have all the cats

— sarah jeong (@sarahjeong) May 11, 2015

Here is the now-famously-curious Pallas’ cat:

They’re definitely not pets, but they’re certainly photogenic and meme-able: Continue reading →

This Week in WTF, May 8, 2015

Posted on May 8, 2015 by wellsdc

– Lonely no more: I wasn’t entirely sure what a “selfie stick” was until a few weeks ago, and now that I’ve thought about it a bit, I find the idea all at once ridiculous, useful, and sort of sad. Ridiculous just because I generally find selfies ridiculous. Useful because I can think of scenarios when you might want a picture of yourself and everyone else in the immediate vicinity, and this things lets everyone be in the picture. Sad because it means you never have to ask another person “Hey, could you take a picture of me/us, please?”

Well, someone managed to find a way to make the selfie stick even stranger, with the Selfie Arm (h/t Susan). This lets you pretend you’re not all by yourself in a photo by mimicking a human hand and arm. A ghostly pale, rubbery human hand. The sort of hand that makes you look at the picture below and wonder “Did someone put a GoPro on a zombie?” Continue reading →

Ignoble Moments in U.S. History: The Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882

Posted on May 6, 2015 by wellsdc

On May 6, 1882, U.S. President Chester A. Arthur signed the Chinese Exclusion Act, which barred all immigration into the United Stated from China for ten years (h/t Melynda). With subsequent renewals, it remained in effect until 1943. Technically, the law only barred “Chinese laborers,” but it effectively prevented all immigration for reasons I’ll get into below.

Chinese immigration to the western United States began around the time that area became the western United States (as opposed to northern Mexico), in the late 1840’s. The California Gold Rush was a major factor, but the (white) Americans coming to California from the eastern U.S. weren’t necessarily thrilled with them being there, but they were tolerated for some time.

As the Gold Rush wound down, Chinese immigrants and their families settled in cities, especially San Francisco. Many of them took work in restaurants and laundries, and Chinese-Americans played a prominent role as laborers in railroad construction. After the Civil War, however, they made convenient scapegoats for all number of complaints: Continue reading →

Congratulations Are in Order

Posted on May 5, 2015 by wellsdc

In addition to being a lawyer, I have been represented by several lawyers over the course of my adult life—sometimes for reasons I would have rather avoided, sometimes for purely cautionary reasons, and sometimes for good reasons. A lawyer who helped me with some business startup matters (which I’ll call one of the good reasons), Elizabeth Copeland at Strasburger & Price in San Antonio, has been nominated by President Obama to the U.S. Tax Court in Washington D.C.

Tax Court sounds like a place I never, ever, ever, ever, ever want to go, but it’s a great career opportunity for her, so my congratulations!

Of course, she still has to be confirmed and all that. Ugh.

The Real Meaning of Cinco de Mayo: A Conversation with Myself

Posted on May 5, 2015 by wellsdc

Today is May 5, or Cinco de Mayo, a celebration of, uh, um…..

Well, honestly, more than a few people seem to have no idea what Cinco de Mayo is actually about.

I know what it’s about.

You do?

Yup. It’s about having a big-ass PAR-TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—ow! What the hell, man!

Oh stop it, you’re fine.

Why the hell did you slap me?

It needed to happen. You’re being an idiot. You don’t really know what Cinco de Mayo is about, either, do you?

It’s like the 4th of July for Mexico, right?

I know that’s not it. Let’s hit the interwebz. [Googles.] Huh, that’s interesting.

What? Let me see!

Cinco de Mayo is, traditionally speaking, a celebration of Mexico’s victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla in 1862.

Not pictured: The Ark of the Covenant.

Wait, French forces? What’s that about?

The French invaded Mexico in 1861 after the Mexican president, Benito Juárez, stopped making interest payments to foreign-government creditors. French Emperor Napoleon III, supported at first by Britain and Spain, claimed that the invasion was necessary to ensure free trade between Europe and Latin America.

That sounds like kind of a big deal. Wouldn’t the U.S. have gotten involved? Continue reading →

This Week in WTF, May 1, 2015

Posted on May 1, 2015 by wellsdc

I’m noticing a trend here: I don’t do any posts in this series for a while, but I keep accumulating stories to include. When I finally get around to doing it, I have so much stuff that I can split it up into multiple posts. I should probably have more of an editorial schedule, if for no other reason than so I’m not lying to you when I say “this week” in the title of the post.

Anyway, here’s Sophie Turner (a/k/a Sansa Stark of Game of Thrones) kicking Steve-O in the nutsack. Happy Friday.

(h/t serenity1313 on Imgur)

– Someone’s got some explainin’ to do: The artist resopnsible for the nightmate inducing bronze statue of Lucille Ball in her hometown of Celoron, New York has apologized for his role in creating something that, I am ashamed to say, made me think of the Family Guy bit with Edna Garrett’s cleavage: Continue reading →

Cryptic Philosopher

Don't Look, but Your Keyboard is Covered in Spiders